Ossee Freeman Schreckengost (1879-1914) was a former Major League Baseball catcher and first baseman who enjoyed a long career as a member of seven different major league teams. He is also a significant part of why this blog came into existence.
The Defendant: Ossee Schreckengost
Some history: our funny names list began in the summer of 2006 when my brother Rob mentioned some ridiculous baseball player names – Coco Crisp, “Piano Legs” Hickman, and Wilmer “Vinegar Bend” Mizell among them – and I decided it would be fun to compile a list of humorously named baseball players.
I began searching baseball-reference.com for every funny name I could find, then looked for U.S. Senators with funny names, and then created a Google Doc and invited Rob and my friend Arto to contribute. Five years and 1500 names later, Arto decided to create this blog.
I bring this up for two reasons:
1. Without funny baseball names, this blog wouldn’t exist.
2. When you combine funny-namedness with sheer hilarity, Ossee Schreckengost may be the funniest baseball player of all time. (Turk Wendell comes close)
Case in point: Exhibit A, this email I received from Rob several years ago.
“I know he’s on your list, but this has to be written down. He is now my favorite funny name player ever. Read page 7 of this book, under Rube Waddell. Apparently Ossee didn’t like Rube because, when they were roomies with the Philadelphia A’s, that annoying Hall of Famer ate in bed. Schreckengost refused to sign his 1903 contract unless the Athletics ordered Rube to stop eating animal crackers in bed. This was because, understandably, the crumbs kept him awake.”
Exhibit B: Ossee briefly played on the worst baseball team in history. In 1899, the Cleveland Spiders lost 134 games (14 more than the second-worst team ever), including 101 road losses. Teams today only play 81 road games, and this was generally true in the 1890′s as well, so how did this team lose 101 games on the road?
Well, it all started in 1898 when the Spiders’ owners bought a team in St. Louis that they renamed the St. Louis Perfectos (a year later, they would become the St. Louis Cardinals). The owners decided the Perfectos would sell better since they were in a bigger city, so they traded all the Spiders’ talented players (including three future Hall of Famers) to the Perfectos. In the Spiders’ first 16 home games, they sold an average of 199 tickets, and teams refused to play there because they wouldn’t make enough money from their share of ticket prices to cover their traveling costs. After July 1, the Spiders only played 8 games at home for the rest of the season, and they played a record 112 games on the road – losing all but 11.
The team was relegated to the minor leagues after that season, and named the Cleveland Lake Shores.
Two bright spots:
1. The Cleveland Lake Shores made it back to the majors in 1901 and were renamed the Cleveland Indians.
2. Ossee Schreckengost played well enough to get traded from the Spiders to the Perfectos after 43 games that year. Perhaps because of this, he would end up playing nine more seasons in the major leagues.
Exhibit C: Ossee Schreckengost played for the American League champion 1902 Philadelphia Athletics. Among his 14 teammates were: Socks Seybold, Lave and Monte Cross, Dave Fultz, Topsy Hartsel, Bert Husting, Highball Wilson, and – of course - Rube Waddell, who ate animal crackers in bed.
The team’s manager was Hall of Famer Connie Mack, which was a shortened form of his birth name, Cornelius McGillicuddy.
Exhibit D: Ossee Schreckengost was born Ossee Schrecongost before changing the spelling of his name. It’s the little things that count.
Exhibit E: Ossee’s final at-bat was the last out of the October 2nd, 1908 perfect game thrown by Hall of Famer Addie Joss. Only a man like Ossee could end his career with an out and still go down as a part of history.
Ossee Schreckengost passed away at age 39 of uremia in 1914, and was buried in this grave in Kittanning, Pennsylvania. We hope he is able to rest peacefully in a place with no animal cracker crumbs.
The People’s Verdict:
The jury unanimously agrees that Ossee Schreckengost was awesome. Though he could never make the Baseball Hall of Fame (he was removed from the ballot in 1939 after failing to earn more than 1% of the Hall of Fame votes for the second time in three years), he deserves a spot in the Funny Names Hall of Fame.
100 years after his playing career ended, Ossee Schreckengost is gone but not forgotten.
[...] sports has a long and honorable tradition of funny names. We’ve already covered a few of those here, but happily, that well will not run dry too [...]
[...] I’m a sucker for names like Outerbridge Horsey VII, Ossee Schreckengost, or Zarley Zalapski, there’s something to be said for a 12-letter name that manages to be [...]
[...] contributor to this blog – my brother, Rob! You may recognize his name from my post on Ossee Schreckengost, where I explain Rob’s role in starting what would become the Funny Names Blog. Give him a [...]
[...] He apparently divorced one wife for eating sunflower seeds in bed! (Which reminds us of another eating in bed story we covered during this blog’s [...]
This is written with an almost reverent voice Dave. Well done.
Great idea for a blog. I will follow till you quit. I am already plugging you to all my wordpress friends and will be reblogging you here and there.
Hey John, I just stumbled upon this old comment… it’s been a good ride, hasn’t it
It certainly has. And it still is.
[...] led to frequent spats with teammates and coaches. In one notable instance – which was covered in detail on this blog by Dave – Rube’s teammate (and bedmate) Ossee Schreckengost refused to [...]
[...] works as a litigation consultant in Pasadena). You can read about this blog’s history in my Ossee Schreckengost [...]
Speaking of catchers, let us not forget, and never forget, Pickles Dillhoeffer.
Haha, that’s a great one. I love names that fit a common theme like that.
P.S. Rob is doing a post on three of his favorite all-time baseball nicknames this Friday. I feel so inclined to give it away, but I’ll restrain myself. A few personal favorites that he *won’t* be covering in that post are “Piano Legs” Hickman, Bubbles Hargrave, and Burleigh Arland “Ol Stubblebeard” Grimes.
Grimes was one of the great spit ballers of all time! Rob may like this past post.
http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/on-the-all-time-mlb-foodies/
meanwhile, I look forward to the post … and don’t forget Firpo Marberry.
[...] Ossee Schreckengost…Benedict Cumberbatch…Outerbridge Horsey…if you haven’t heard of these names, well, you have now! And if you had been following The Blog of Funny Names since it’s debut last December, you would not have needed me to clue you in. Every weekday Dave and his co-authors present another great name from history, entertainment or current events. Special features include a weekly Funny Names in the News column. Oh an of course, they also give out blog awards; they gave me mine. Here is what they said about me: Mark Sackler of Millenium Conjectures wins the Rube Waddell Ridiculousness Award. He’s a newer fan of ours who has already earned some notice. He’s an avid baseball fan and a kindred spirit who formerly kept a funny named baseball players list, and prides his blog on the “ridiculous and sublime” – also a good descriptor for Rube Waddell. [...]
[...] as the wacky but exceptional Rube Waddell because it was in the best interest of the team (even if Waddell’s animal cracker crumbs kept Ossee Schreckengost awake at night). He was also known for being one of the first managers to reposition his fielders during the [...]