Posted in March 2012

Majestic Mapp and Scientific Mapp: A March Madness Basketball Legacy

Today we celebrate the Final Four of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. As Louisville, University of Kentucky, Kansas, and Ohio State square off to determine who are the two top teams in the sport this year, we reflect on two brothers with a strong claim to having the greatest college basketball names in history.

Majestic Mapp was an extremely talented, NBA-bound point guard from New York City, until a devastating knee injury cost him 2.5 years at the University of Virginia and essentially ended his professional aspirations. His younger older brother, Scientific, also played college ball for Florida A&M University.

Majestic, who appears to be doing well these days as a Wall Street commodities trader, was expected to be the next member of a long line of excellent New York-raised point guards, but was not able to return to form after his debilitating injury. He was recently profiled by the New York Daily news and has started to play rec basketball again. We wish them both the best as the Mapps chart their course toward their futures.

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Binyamin Shlomo Hamburger

Binyamin Shlomo Hamburger is one of the more distinguished name-holders so far covered on these pages. He is a rabbi, author and historian, and an expert in the customs of Western European Jews. Rabbi Hamburger was born in Basel, Switzerland and now resides in Israel.

He is a highly respected historian in the Jewish community and is most famous (besides his name) for the four-volume series entitled Shorshei Minhagei Ashkenaz, The Roots of Ashkenaz Customs, which was not a New York Times bestseller in spite of its catchy title (perhaps because it was never published in English until a synopsis appeared in 2010).

This is one of the first images that pops up during a Google search for Rabbi Hamburger. I don't know what to make of it, besides suggest these folks should definitely make a Western.

Many critics have noted that these volumes are extraordinarily well researched and contain a treasure chest of information for scholars. Their sprawling length, though, may make it seem as if one is reading them in “Shlo-mo”.

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Wallace Wattles

Wallace Delois Wattles (1860-1911) was an American author who never gained much Wallace Wattlesesteem during his lifetime, but whose writings – including The Science of Getting Rich and The Science of Being Well – have survived over 100 years and provided inspiration for the 2006 film The Secret.

He had an untimely death in 1911 at the age of 51 – the same year he published his two major books and was running for public office – but according to accounts, he lived a healthy and wealthy life. On the day of his funeral, all of the businesses in his hometown of Elwood, Indiana closed for two hours in respect for the accomplished Mr. Wattles.

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Vonteego Marfeek Cummings

Vonteego Marfeek Cummings is an American basketball Vonteego Cummingsplayer, formerly of the NBA and currently playing in the Polish professional league for Trefl Sopot.*

After an illustrious college career at Pittsburgh in the late 1990′s, Cummings was drafted by the Indiana Pacers with the 26th pick in the 1999 NBA draft. Vonteego averaged a respectable 7 points per game and scored 1381 points over a three-year NBA career with the Golden State Warriors and Philadelphia 76ers.

While these aren’t the kind of numbers that land someone in the basketball hall of fame, it’s 1381 more points than most basketball players will ever score, and the $2.2 million over a three-year span didn’t hurt either.

Welcome, Vonteego, to the Funny Names Hall of Fame!

*That team’s name belongs alongside the Lansing Lugnuts, Odessa Jackalopes, Omaha Ak-Sar-Ben Knights and Honka Espoo Playboys in a sister blog about funny sports team names.

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Megalyn Echikunwoke

Like Ras-I Alujah “Livingstone” Bramble before her, this inductee was destined for funny-named greatness. Her grandfather (who we will refer to as “Pops Echikunwoke”) was the tribal leader of the Nigerian Igbo tribe, and Echikunwoke means “leader of men.”

While “Pops” may have literally led men, his lovely granddaughter – actress and model Megalyn, probably leads men in a more figurative sense. But before her parents could prepare her for recurring or starring roles on Spyder Games, 24, That 70′s Show, and CSI: Miami, they had to first address an age-old question.

What middle name ought one bestow upon a child with the name “Megalyn Echikunwoke”?

We're not sure how many trees she has killed by adding "Megalyn" to all of the baby names books, but we're willing to suggest it was worth it.

Their answer: Ann. As in Megalyn Ann Echikunwoke. We’ll leave it to you to figure out which of her parents – a Nigerian-Igbo father and a German/Scots-Irish American mother – was responsible for each of those names.

In any case, the name worked, and the lovely Megalyn has compiled a long list of TV and film credits at the young age of 28.

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