The Blog of Funny Names

Fashion icon of his time Sir Cloudesley Shovell, showcasing his Bon Jovi hair and amazing pants, while leaning on a non-symbolic cannon. Now that’s a portrait.

If you’ve been reading the Funny Names Blog, you may know that merely having an amusing name isn’t always enough to become a true funny name legend. It will greatly work to your advantage if you also led an impossibly interesting life, came into contact with other amusingly named people, and preferably were born in a town called Cockthorpe.

Happily, Sir Cloudesley Shovell ticks all these boxes. He was indeed born in Cockthorpe, England in 1650. A distant relative, Sir Christopher Myngs, was an admiral at the British navy at the time, and young Cloudesley went off to sea at the age of 14 as a cabin boy.

In the next four decades he steadily climbed the ranks at the Royal Navy. He was commended for his efforts in battling pirates, becoming Johnny Depp’s worst enemy. He gained more responsibility quickly, serving on HMS Plymouth, as captain of HMS Sapphire, and during a particularly triumphant spell, aboard HMS Prince (which was later renamed “the Vessel Formerly Known as HMS Prince”). His career reached its peak as the Commander-in-Chief of the British fleet in the early 1700s.

Of course, all good things come to an end, and so it was with Sir Cloudesley’s life. He is quite sadly perhaps best remembered for the manner of his death. His ship, HMS Association, struck some rocks near the Isles of Scilly in 1707, and went down within minutes, along with three other ships in his fleet, killing maybe as many as 2000 sailors.

Many legends were born over the exact manner of his death, as his body was found some seven miles from the site of the shipwreck. Legend has it, he survived the crash, made it to shore at the Islands, only to be murdered by a young woman who wanted the priceless ring on his finger. As great a story as that would make, it is probably untrue. It is more likely that he managed to get on a boat (apparently bringing his dog with him), and drowned trying to reach shore. Nothing Scilly about that.

Sir Shovell was interred at Westminster Abbey, where the sure-to-be-covered-here-in-the-future Grinling Gibbons sculpted a large monument in his memory. It is unknown whether he used a shovel to do so.

They say that only a true athlete is capable of carrying a refrigerator on his back for long distances. And heave heavy logs as high into the air as possible. And lift quarter-ton stones onto pedestals of different heights. And, most importantly, run as fast as possible while carrying a rock shaped like the continent of Africa.

If the mysterious “they” are correct, then our man today, Magnus ver Magnusson (born April 22, 1963), is one hell of an athlete. He also has one of the manliest names you’ll ever hear.

Magnus ver Magnusson pulling what appears to be a tank. No big deal.

Magnus, a former powerlifter and strongman competitor from Iceland, competed in seven World’s Strongest Man competitions. He won four of those contests and was runner up twice. ver Magnusson is inarguably one of the greatest competitors in WSM history, which means a lot to us here at the blog (we have a soft spot in our hearts for timbersports and strongman competitions). He also won the Iceland’s Strongest Man competition eight times, and even held the much-coveted world record for the tire deadlift for awhile, lifting a whopping 981 lbs.

Although now retired, Magnus keeps himself busy running a powerlifting and strongman gym and raising a child in Hafnarfjörður, Iceland. Please direct any and all pronunciation questions to our good Finnish friend, and fellow blogger, Arto Jaakkola. I haven’t a clue how to pronounce that town’s name!

Maybe it’s wise not to try to come up with a clever, pun-filled image caption for this person’s name…

Hello Funny Names Blog fans – Dave here with a rare Tuesday post!

Astute readers may know that I actually pre-wrote an entire month of posts so that I could focus more on the MCAT, which I’ll be taking on Thursday.  However, today I stumbled upon a truly exceptional name, and decided I simply couldn’t wait to share it with you.

What’s the name?

Dick Dickey

He was a basketball star at NC State in the late 1940′s, and became a member of the Boston Celtics for one season during the early years of the National Basketball association. Like many stars in sports’ early days, Dick Dickey ended up making most of his money outside of sports, where he spent 29 years in the insurance industry. However, he was also inducted into the Indiana Sports Hall of Fame, and his #70 jersey number was retired at NC State in his honor.

Hopefully it’s obvious by now that the Funny Names Blog isn’t like many “funny names” lists where they try to find as many gross, anatomical, or vulgar-sounding names as possible.  We enjoy the finer, more distinguished side of funny names. Though it wasn’t a policy, I think we actually went out of our way to avoid adult-themed names until Arto’s Ed Balls post.

But when Arto and I looked at our new subscribers the day after that post, and found no fewer than six women who regularly post about Christian topics (including one of our favorite commenters and bloggers Beatrix Mana), it got us thinking.  Then, on that same post about a left-leaning British politician named Ed Balls, we received possibly my all-time favorite comment so far, from outspoken Conservative Christian blogger Susan Shannon aka Short Little Rebel, which included these words:

It made me realize that other serious people really needed a laugh – something NOT mean spirited. Something easy and something cheerful. Something, in the end, that makes us realize that we are all humans, after all, and that we are alike. I mean, EVERYONE has to enjoy a Mr. Balls or a Mr. Hand article, right?

Apparently they used to make sports cards (brought to you by Coca Cola!) for college athletes.

That statement perfectly articulated the idea that we had just begun to think about: funny names have a near-universal appeal. Since then, we still exercise discretion, but no longer shy away from posting a semi-vulgar name if it’s one of the most famous funny names ever, or is oddly appropriate.

In fact, I just decided that this is worthy enough to become the newest Funny Names Theory!

The Ed Balls Reflection

1. Vulgarity alone does not make a name funny. However, some vulgar-sounding names are very funny.

2. When used sparingly and with discretion, this humor has near-universal appeal.

3. We will exercise restraint and moderation, but will not shy away from posting about people named Ed Balls or Dick Dickey when we discover them.