Tag Archives: baseball

The Eephus Pitch

Doing something a little different today. Not to my knowledge (and I’m pretty certain about this one), has a baseball pitch been inducted on this screwy blog. But I figured I’d throw you all a bit of a curve by inducting the most legendary pitch in all of baseball. And no, it’s not the slurve, palm ball, straight change, circle change, cutter, sinker, knuckleball, splitter, slider, knuckle curve, or even the dreaded spitball.

The pitch of the hour, of course, is the Eephus pitch. The pitch is an extremely uncommon one in Major League Baseball, being rarely thrown despite its awesomeness. The casual fan is probably unaware of what Wikipedia describes as “a very low speed junk pitch.” The idea behind the pitch is to catch the hitter by surprise by throwing the ball with an extremely high trajectory at a very low speed. In comparison to standard pitches, which commonly range in speed between 70-100 miles per hour, the Eephus comes in below 55 miles per hour, throwing off the batter’s timing.

The pitch was invented by four-time all-star Truett Banks “Rip” Sewell. Sewell sustained a toe injury in 1941 after being shot with buckshot in a hunting accident. (One thing that seems to be timeless throughout baseball are hunting accidents!) The damage to Sewell’s big toe forced him to alter his pitching motion, and this gave rise to his “blooper pitch.” According to Sewell, the first time he threw the pitch, batter Dick Wakefield “started to swing, he stopped, he started again, he stopped, and then he swung and missed it by a mile. I thought everybody was going to fall off the bench, they were laughing so hard.” Using his new pitch, Sewell became a great pitcher, winning 17 games in 1942 followed by back-to-back 21 win seasons in 1943 and ’44. The pitch also had a famous moment in the 1946 All-Star Game. Sewell warned Hall of Famer Ted Williams he was going to throw him the pitch during the game. Sewell threw the blooper, and Williams fouled it off. So he kept throwing it. On one pitch, Williams ran toward the ball and hit a home run. Photographs would later reveal that Williams exited the batter’s box at the time of contact. Williams would have been declared out had the umpire spotted it. Sewell, despite giving up the homer, received a standing ovation as he walked toward the dugout.

The awesome name of the Eephus pitch is credited to outfielder Maurice Van Robays, who proclaimed that “Eephus ain’t nothing, and that’s a nothing pitch.” It is believed that the name Eephus may have come from the Hebrew word “efes” which means “nothing.”

Here’s a video of an Eephus pitch by former big leaguer Kaz Tadano:

Although Sewell was the first, there have been many pitchers since who have adopted the Eephus, and the pitch has been given many names.

Among them are Bill “Spaceman” Lee (who used to sprinkle marijuana on his pancakes, FYI) and his “Leephus” pitch, Casey Fossum and his Fossum Flip, Steve Hamilton’s folly floater, Dave LaRoche’s LaLob, Vicente Padilla and his Eephus, (which Vin Scully called the “soap bubble”) Pascual Perez and his Pascual Pitch, and Dave Stieb and his Dead Fish.

As if that weren’t enough names, the Eephus has also been referred to as the balloon ball, the gondola, the parachute, the rainbow pitch, and for good measure, the Bugs Bunny curve.

You learn something new everyday. I hope this was that something. You go, Eephus Pitch!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

New Funny Names Theory! The Ogden Nash Omission Prohibition

Hello to all the fine feathered folks out there on this lovely Thursday! That last sentence is wishful thinking because I’m drafting this post on Wednesday night.

Yesterday’s “Mel” Ott post has given us the statistically significant evidence necessary to create a brand new Funny Names Theory – the first new theory since Amb turned 100 (though she still looks 22 to me)!

But first, a moment of silence for Neuroscientist Ryan Gosling, who is my hero of all heroes:

If I can one day become half as handsome or half as neuroscientifically knowledgeable, I will have lived a worthy life.

If I can one day become half as handsome or half as neuroscientifically knowledgeable, I will have lived a worthy life.

… Back to our own scientific developments:

The Ogden Nash Omission Prohibition

If funny named poet Ogden Nash wrote a stanza about a funny named baseball personality who is featured in one of Rob’s posts, that stanza will be featured at the end of the post.

… and Rob “ott” to follow it up with a comment saying “You go, [so and so]!”, and if he fails in either of these particulars, it shall be declared a balk, and shall be followed by Rob’s beloved Padres finally winning the World Series (which we’ve always expected would signify the end of the world).

Case studies: “Mel” Ott, Tristram E Speaker, Cornelius McGillicuddy Sr., Denton True Young, Napoleon Lajoie

Ogden gave those players his "stamp" of approval.

Ogden gave those players his “stamp” of approval.

So there you have it! Proof that although Funny Names Theory may look static and unchanging for a while, it actually obeys patterns of punctuated equilibrium.  Now, how can I turn that in to a sexy “Science Gosling”-style pickup line?

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Mel Ott

I think I’ve just set a record for the shortest name of any person profiled on the blog. Huzzah!

Melvin Thomas Ott (1909-1958) was a major league right fielder. And he was a heck of a right fielder, to say the least. A career-long New York Giant (he played with them from 1926-1947), the diminutive Ott – 5’9”, 170 pounds – was the first National League player to surpass 500 home runs. He racked up 511 career dingers to go along with an impressive .304 average and 2,876 hits. Amazingly, from 1928-1945, he led his team in home runs. His 18-year streak is a major league record – no other player has led his team in home runs that many years in a row. Another neat fact about Ott is that he started his Big League career at the age of 17, and he hit for the cycle at age 20 – wow! He is still the youngest man to hit for the cycle.

Thank you 1940's baseball card makers for the quote marks. I wouldn't have had a clue that "Mel" is short for something.

Thank you 1940′s baseball card makers for the quote marks. I wouldn’t have had a clue that “Mel” is short for something.

Ott’s managerial career was also of some note, and helped spawn a famous quote. Ott’s easy-going managing style, and the fact that he was managing a bad Giants team, led Leo Durocher to coin the now famous phrase “nice guys finish last!” in reference to Ott and his 1946 Giants. Actually, the story is a bit muddier than that , as Durocher may not have said exactly that line, but the phrase became attributed to Durocher, and a famous saying was born.

You go, Mel!

Here’s Ogden Nash (who else?) to close it out, as only he can.

O is for Ott
Of the restless right foot.
When he leaned on the pellet,
The pellet stayed put.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Tristram E. Speaker

Howdy folks! I’m back, and you know what that means – more funny baseball names.

Tristram E. Speaker (1888-1958) is kind of legit. Although born without a middle name, he adopted the “E.” after Red Sox management insisted he have a middle initial. Why, I don’t know.

But I do know that Tris “Spoke” Speaker (also known as “The Grey Eagle”) is one of baseball’s all-time great center fielders. As if having a career batting average of .345 with 3,514 hits (including a still-standing major league record 792 doubles) wasn’t enough, Spoke was quite the defender, amassing still-standing career records for assists, double plays, and unassisted double plays by an outfielder. How an outfielder would plausibly record an unassisted double play is beyond me (I can’t recall ever seeing it done – he must have been playing pretty shallow), but Tristram apparently was quite proficient at it. The Grey Eagle was also a three-time World Series champion – two of which came while he was a player-manager for the Cleveland Indians.

The Grey Eagle fouling one off. I'm digging the knee-high socks!

The Grey Eagle fouling one off. I’m digging the knee-high socks!

The Hall of Famer was also proficient at injuring his arms… As a youngster, Speaker became left-handed after breaking his right arm after falling off a horse. But later, to even things out, Spoke severely injured his left arm while playing football. The injury was so bad that surgeons thought it should be amputated, but Spoke refused, and his arm recovered. Good move Grey Eagle, good move. That left arm sure came in handy.

However, to add injury to injury, Spoke again injured the left arm in 1937, when he fell 16 feet after the railing of his porch collapsed while he was trying to repair a flower box. The Grey Eagle sustained a skull fracture and a broken left arm in the fall. He would eventually recover.

When Spoke died, fellow Hall of Famer Napoleon Lajoie said, “He was one of the greatest fellows I ever knew, both as a baseball player and as a gentleman.” Even Tyrus Raymond Cobb had nice things to say about him.

But it is Ogden Nash who gets the closing word here about the incredible Tris Speaker:

S is for Speaker,
Swift center-field tender,
When the ball saw him coming,
It yelled, “I surrender.”

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Clyde Kluttz

(Dave’s Note: With today’s post, we welcome the consistently remarkable Mark Sackler of Millennium Conjectures to our list of Funny Names Blog columnists. Join us in giving a warm welcome to Mark!)

Klutz–noun, Slang. 1. a clumsy, awkward person.  2. a stupid or foolish person; blockhead.

Origin:
1965–70,  Americanism; < Yiddish klots  literally, wooden beam < Middle High German kloc  ( German Klotz )

Wow.  Can you imagine a more unfortunate name for a professional athlete?  There may be many that come close, and I will cite a couple at the end of this post.

Clyde Kluttz baseball card, c. 1952

Clyde Franklin Kluttz (1917-1979) was a journeyman major league catcher for the Boston Braves, New York Giants, St. Louis Cardinals, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Browns and Washington Senators.  His  career was so undistinguished that  four of the six teams he played for no longer even exist in their original cities.  In nine major league seasons between 1942 and 1952 he hit .268 with career HR and RBI totals of just 19 and 212.  In fact, his post playing career as a scout was far more distinguished.  The pinnacle of his post-playing days came as director of scouting for the New York Yankees (1974-75) and director of player development for the Baltimore Orioles from 1976 until his death in 1979.  One of his greatest achievements was to convince then free agent Jim “Catfish” Hunter–one of the greatest nicknamed players of all time–to sign with the Yankees after the 1974 season, thus contributing to the foundation of the Bronx Zoo that won world championships in 1977 and 1978.
So back to the name itself.  While his playing days certainly seem to have predated the development of  the American slang usage of the term, as the dictionary.com definition above indicates, I must take issue with their timing.  Back in my junior high school days, c.1962-64, my best friend and I compiled a list of the 50 wackiest baseball names of all times.  Now, going through an entire all-time baseball register in this manner is something only an adolescent boy would do in the first place, but it is something I have never forgotten.  Clyde Kluttz was #1 on both of our ballots.  Believe me, it wasn’t just that the name sounded funny and had a great ring to it.  We knew well even then the meaning of the word klutz.
As for other inappropriately or unfortunately named athletes,  two of my favorites are Richie Incognito, an offensive lineman for the Miami Dolphins, and Grant Balfour, a relief pitcher for the Oakland Athletics.  If there is anything Richie Incognito can’t do, it’s go incognito.  He is 6’3″ and weighs 324 lbs.  As for Balfour–I can’t imagine the ribbing he must get on the field, particularly from opposing teams.  A pitcher named Ball Four? Really?  There are others out there, but for the the most unlikely professional sports name of all time, Clyde Kluttz still takes my cake!
Mark Sackler
Read about my own baseball history here.
Tagged , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 910 other followers