Tag Archives: humor

May 24 2013
14 Comments
Funny Names In The News

Jaydip on Ping Pong, Amb on Zod, and More Funny Names in the News

Big news in Funny Names in the News this week – our time has come and gone and the next generation is already taking over. 18-year-old Eesha Khare from Saratoga, California has invented a thingymajig that can charge batteries in less than a minute. She won all sorts of top prizes for her gadget at the International Science and Engineering Fair in Phoenix, AZ last week. Oddly, I was not invited, in spite of my impressive ability to describe fancy modern stuff with helpful terms like thingie. Funny names were favored at the fair in general, as second place went to Romanian wunderkid Lonut Budisteanu. Way to go, children!

This is what life is all about.

This is what life is all about.

Our blog’s official unofficial sponsor HankyBook lauched a Kickstarter campaign this week to help ramp up production. This is relevant to a funny names blog because the site was co-founded by Yancey Strickler and Perry Chen, and those are great names. And also because I in my dictatorial capacity this week have decided to include it. Anyway, go check it out and spread the word on this to all your tree-loving, environment appreciating friends!

Our Excited Correspondent Amb is excited this week, folks! That’s because there’s another Superman movie coming out (I swear I just saw one and Kevin Spacey was the evil guy) and it features a character by the name of General Zod. That’s purty cool. Zod! Zod on to the trailer here.

This place has shot straight to my list of places I need to visit before too long.

This place has shot straight to my list of places I need to visit before too long.

On to exciting ping pong news from the Middle East – I know you were waiting for this one, dear reader. Evidently, Dubai is going ping pong crazy. Or so I’m told in this article by Jaydip Sengupta, the nation’s number one ping pong correspondent. Special mention for the sport for its unquestionably funny name.

For the second week in a row we must bring you some sad news, this time of the passing of “one of Toledo’s top divorce lawyers”, Melvin G. Nusbaum. It’s a shame I was not familiar with the distinguished Mr. Nusbaum until today as I’m sure he could’ve merited a mention on our blog in happier circumstances.

More sports news now, as apparently there’s a football player named Jalen Dingle out there. That is all. Dingle.

Big happenings also took place in college sports this week, at the much ballyhooed NCAA III Outdoor Track and Field Championships on Thursday. Calvin College’s Nicole Michmerhuizen took home the national title in the women’s 10000 m race, a great accomplishment for sure. Hopefully they don’t carve the winner’s names into the medals, as that seems like an impossible task for the carverman. The men’s race in the same distance saw the delicious sounding Matt Vander Roest come in second.

That’s it for this week, see you Monday for more regularly scheduled funny name goodness!

Dingle.

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May 22 2013
25 Comments
funny names in baseball

The Eephus Pitch

Doing something a little different today. Not to my knowledge (and I’m pretty certain about this one), has a baseball pitch been inducted on this screwy blog. But I figured I’d throw you all a bit of a curve by inducting the most legendary pitch in all of baseball. And no, it’s not the slurve, palm ball, straight change, circle change, cutter, sinker, knuckleball, splitter, slider, knuckle curve, or even the dreaded spitball.

The pitch of the hour, of course, is the Eephus pitch. The pitch is an extremely uncommon one in Major League Baseball, being rarely thrown despite its awesomeness. The casual fan is probably unaware of what Wikipedia describes as “a very low speed junk pitch.” The idea behind the pitch is to catch the hitter by surprise by throwing the ball with an extremely high trajectory at a very low speed. In comparison to standard pitches, which commonly range in speed between 70-100 miles per hour, the Eephus comes in below 55 miles per hour, throwing off the batter’s timing.

The pitch was invented by four-time all-star Truett Banks “Rip” Sewell. Sewell sustained a toe injury in 1941 after being shot with buckshot in a hunting accident. (One thing that seems to be timeless throughout baseball are hunting accidents!) The damage to Sewell’s big toe forced him to alter his pitching motion, and this gave rise to his “blooper pitch.” According to Sewell, the first time he threw the pitch, batter Dick Wakefield “started to swing, he stopped, he started again, he stopped, and then he swung and missed it by a mile. I thought everybody was going to fall off the bench, they were laughing so hard.” Using his new pitch, Sewell became a great pitcher, winning 17 games in 1942 followed by back-to-back 21 win seasons in 1943 and ’44. The pitch also had a famous moment in the 1946 All-Star Game. Sewell warned Hall of Famer Ted Williams he was going to throw him the pitch during the game. Sewell threw the blooper, and Williams fouled it off. So he kept throwing it. On one pitch, Williams ran toward the ball and hit a home run. Photographs would later reveal that Williams exited the batter’s box at the time of contact. Williams would have been declared out had the umpire spotted it. Sewell, despite giving up the homer, received a standing ovation as he walked toward the dugout.

The awesome name of the Eephus pitch is credited to outfielder Maurice Van Robays, who proclaimed that “Eephus ain’t nothing, and that’s a nothing pitch.” It is believed that the name Eephus may have come from the Hebrew word “efes” which means “nothing.”

Here’s a video of an Eephus pitch by former big leaguer Kaz Tadano:

Although Sewell was the first, there have been many pitchers since who have adopted the Eephus, and the pitch has been given many names.

Among them are Bill “Spaceman” Lee (who used to sprinkle marijuana on his pancakes, FYI) and his “Leephus” pitch, Casey Fossum and his Fossum Flip, Steve Hamilton’s folly floater, Dave LaRoche’s LaLob, Vicente Padilla and his Eephus, (which Vin Scully called the “soap bubble”) Pascual Perez and his Pascual Pitch, and Dave Stieb and his Dead Fish.

As if that weren’t enough names, the Eephus has also been referred to as the balloon ball, the gondola, the parachute, the rainbow pitch, and for good measure, the Bugs Bunny curve.

You learn something new everyday. I hope this was that something. You go, Eephus Pitch!

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May 21 2013
23 Comments
funny names

Garrison Keillor — Storyteller, Humorist

Gary Edward “Garrison” Keillor, born on August 7, 1942 in Anoka, Minnesota to Grace Ruth (Denham) Keillor and John Philip Keillor, was one of six children.

Keillor started on Minnesota Educational Radio, the forerunner of Minnesota Public Radio, in 1969 on The Morning Program. The show’s eclectic music was a major divergence from the station’s classical fare. He resigned in February 1971 in protest to what he attributed as interference with his musical programming.  As part of his protest, he played nothing but the Beach Boy’s “Help Me, Rhonda”.

The show returned in October, renamed A Prairie Home Companion. It now included live musical performances in the cramped studio and ran until 1987 when he decided to end it.

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.” Photo Courtesy of Prairie Home Productions

“I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.” Photo Courtesy of Prairie Home Productions

“What?” you say – it’s still on the air. He worked on several other live radio programs including “The American Radio Company of the Air”, which maintained nearly the same format as A Prairie Home Companion.

In 1993, he reintroduced A Prairie Home Companion receiving no credits except under the nom de plume, Sarah Bellum. As a Funny Names enthusiast, I love the shout out to his cerebellum.

The program goes on the road regularly with live broadcasts from venues around the United States incorporating skits with local flavor.

I saw him live in Seattle and found out that as a female Seattleite I could chop a cord of wood and catch a salmon all before breakfast. Then after breakfast head out to the University of Washington to attain my PhD, I was thrilled. (Note—the only PhD’s I possess are the letters on my keyboard, but I did catch a salmon before breakfast once.)

I don’t know about you, but his distinctive voice and story telling style makes me want to curl up in a flannel blanket with a hot cup of cocoa, lean back, and learn more about his fictitious sponsors like the Ketchup Advisory Board, a sample of which might be obtained at Ralph’s Pretty Good Grocery, “because if you can’t find it at Ralph’s, you can probably get along without it”.

He’s been married three times to women with impressive names as well: Mary Guntzel, Ulla Skaerved, and current wife, Jenny Lind Nilsson.

On November 1, 2006 he opened “Common Good Books — G. Keillor, prop.”, an independent bookstore located in St. Paul, Minnesota. Painted on the shop’s window below “Classics, all sizes”, is listed “Quality Trash” and “Midwestern Lit”. Doesn’t that make you want to go there?

Keillor is a prolific author as well with over 100 written or recorded works.

My hats off to you, Mr. Keillor, for giving us Lake Wobegon, “where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.”

Tracy — Fannie Cranium’s Guide to Irreverent Wisdom

Proof that I do not make these things up. I apologize to any animal rights organizations because he was delicious.

Proof that I don’t make these things up and do wear a hat. I apologize to any animal rights organizations because he was delicious.

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May 20 2013
10 Comments
Uncategorized

“I’ve Been Everywhere” – A Treasure Trove of Funny Names

Fun(?) fact #1: in 115 posts for this here blog (this is Dave, in case you are wondering), I’ve only written about a place name one time. Can anyone remember what it was? How about anyone not named Amb or Arto? :)

For you cheatin’ types (Hank Williams II would not be happy with you), it’s link #3 on our newly updated A-Z page, which Arto added over 100 entries to over the weekend(!!!!!)

Well after a long day of writing lab reports analyzing the rate that water drips off of a frog – not even in the most corybantic state could I make that fact up – I had a delightful old favorite song get stuck in my head, and realized that it presented so much fodder for the Blog of Funny Names that I had to write about it.

One of the first hits for "Winnemucca." I feel this must be some sort of inside joke, except that it's shared with the whole world.

One of the first hits for “Winnemucca.” I feel this must be some sort of inside joke, except that it’s shared with the whole world.

So today I’ll see that one geographically-inspired post and raise myself 92. Here’s “I’ve Been Everywhere,” penned by Hank Snow and famously performed by Johnny Cash. Then stay tuned after the lyrics for some amazing fun facts that include the phrase “humpin’ my bluey“!

I was totin’ my pack along the dusty Winnemucca road
When along came a semi with a high canvas covered load
If you’re goin’ to Winnemucca, Mack, with me you can ride
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside
He asked me if I’d seen a road with so much dust and sand
And I said, “Listen! I’ve traveled every road in this here land”

[Chorus: I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel, I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere]

I’ve been to:
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, And Padilla, I’m a killer

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana
Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana
Monterey, Ferriday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa
Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa
Tennessee, Tinnesay, Chicopee, Spirit Lake
Grand Lake, Devil’s Lake, Crater Lake, For Pete’s sake

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika
Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica
Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport
Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport
Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina
Pasadena, Catalina, See what I mean-a

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado
Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, El Dorado
Larimore, Atmore, Haverstraw, Chatanika
Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika 
Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City
Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, What a pity

[Chorus]

Awesome facts about this song:

  • A kangaroo eating Vegemite. Because some stereotypes are too good to ignore!

    A kangaroo eating Vegemite. Because some stereotypes are too good to ignore!

    It was originally written by an Australian named Geoff Mack and made famous by a fella named Lucky Starr. The Australian version may be better than the North American one. Case in point: it starts “Well I was humpin my bluey on the dusty Oodnadatta road“

  • … and then the fella goes to places like Maroochydore, Ulladulla and Wooloomooloo
  • … and the best part is that they’re confused about where the guy meant when he said Coolangatta, because there is more than one Coolangatta in Australia!
  • Whether you’re singing the Australian or North American version, it’s one of the hardest songs to memorize. I know this because I’ve tried… unsuccessfully… several times. I’ve gotten through three verses on two occasions. It’s an awesome party trick…. if you go to parties with weird people like Arto and I :)
  • But Lucky Starr wouldn’t stop at remembering the lyrics one way. He released an album where he sang four different versions of the song: Australia, North America, Great Britain and New Zealand. Fair dinkum!

What’s the funniest name in the North American version? How about the Australian One?

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May 17 2013
19 Comments
Funny Names In The News

Rest in Peace Dick Trickle! We Barely Knew Ye! It’s Funny Names In The News 38

Well I’ll be darned, if it ain’t time for Funny Names in the News again!

It seemed to be a fairly light week for Funny Names In The News, with only two contributions from our normally prolific correspondents, but perhaps it was kismet. The dearth of updates inspired me to head over to CNN for the first time in a while, and the first result in the left-hand panel spoke of the apparent suicide of famed Nascar driver Dick Trickle.

We hope Dick Trickle is enjoying that delightful Nascar track in the sky.

We hope Dick Trickle is enjoying that delightful Nascar track in the sky.

It’s always sad when I have to announce the death – particularly a suicide – of anyone, but it’s a particularly sad day for Nascar fans and Funny Names fans, because both of us agree that Dick Trickle was one of the best. The only reason we haven’t already covered him on the pages of this esteemed blog is because Arto and his puerile sense of humor couldn’t find a way to write about Mr. Trickle without a bunch of potty-themed puns.  I’m tellin’ ya… the well-mannered, polite Finn gig he’s been pulling over our eyes is nothing but a coverup!

In a way, I feel somewhat responsible. A lot of times, suicides in former athletes are partly a result of their star having faded and them feeling like their best days were behind them. But for people with funny names, it’s a different story. They will continue to bring light and inspiration to our life until the end of our days. I wonder if things would have been different had we given him the time in the limelight he deserved on this blog. The least we can do is wish Dick Trickle’s family, fans, and survivors the best during this difficult time, and hope they know he serves as an inspiration to us all.

And just as they honor recently-passed drivers with a silent lap, to show that the racing sport goes on, so shall we continue to bring you the best names in this week’s news. This one’s for you, Dick Trickle!

“Cumberbatch – it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn’t it? What a fluffy old name.” - Benedict Cumberbatch actually said that

“Cumberbatch – it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn’t it? What a fluffy old name.” – Benedict Cumberbatch

I’ll start off with everyone’s favorite effervescent showbiz correspondent Amber and her alert that…. well, I’ll let her speak for herself. It went like this:

Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek! With Benedict Cumberbatch. Yes, I’m excited, why do you ask? amb xo. WARNING:  spoilers!

On to sports, where our boxing correspondent Arto… no, just kidding, ME! of course! Brings the news that heavyweight champion bigwig (is that like a triple-big wig?) Alexander Povetkin will be squaring off against Andrzej Wawrzyk, and my pal Briggs Seekins (from my sports journalist days) provides his preview and predictions for what will happen.

In other sports news, Tiago Splitter has reason to smile because his San Antonio Spurs just beat the Golden State Warriors to reach the Western Conference finals for the bajillionth time in the last bajillion and three years. Go Tiago!

Some site called the New York Times brings us news that is sure to let computer-dwellers like ourselves sit a bit more comfortably. “Posture Guru” Esther Gokhale, 

When I think "Go Clay" I think of this clip from Community, but to each one's own.

When I think “Go Clay” I think of this clip from Community, but to each one’s own.

whose name is pronounced GO-CLAY, and whose title shows that in a busy, commercialized world, everything can be given spiritual significance. In the article, Ms. Gokhale and her awesome posture-boosting abilities receive endorsements from such notables as Matt Drudge, and Susan Wojcicki (don’t even try to pronounce that), who could only get a job as a senior vice president at a silly-named company named Google.

Our favorite intrepid showbiz correspondent (who also happens to be the effervescent one) Amb lets us know:

James Van Der Beek is coming back to tv! Along with the also funny named Brooklyn Decker. See, there’s something someone for everyone to enjoy! And yes, of course I totally loved Dawson’s Creek. As if you didn’t see that coming. amb xo.

Like green monster monkeys that are just looking for someone to hug!

Like green monster monkeys that are just looking for someone to hug!

Amb knows I only have eyes for her, though. Who needs to look at a supermodelly, wife-of-the-handsomest-football-player-alive lady anyway? Brooklyn Decker wouldn’t be jazzed about me using the word puerile in a post anyway. Community‘s Alison Brie might… although unlike Amb, I’m sure Alison has her own issues to deal with that aren’t nearly as awesome as not having enough time to talk about how incredible Ender’s Game is!

Alright, that’s it for Funny Names in the News 38 and this week’s Alison Brie photo collage, presented by Nascar and Dick Trickle. See you all on Monday with another exciting post! Enjoy your weekend!

** Can you tell I’m excited that Community has been renewed??!!! *** I’m feeling zippy and corybantic and I’m not even caffeinated!

(Oh, and I’m not only excited about that…. Fannie just sent me one of the best names I’ve ever heard… I don’t think it’ll be ready in time for her post next Tuesday, but it’ll be featured here soon. Pure gold!)

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