Tag Archives: humour

May 20 2013
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“I’ve Been Everywhere” – A Treasure Trove of Funny Names

Fun(?) fact #1: in 115 posts for this here blog (this is Dave, in case you are wondering), I’ve only written about a place name one time. Can anyone remember what it was? How about anyone not named Amb or Arto? :)

For you cheatin’ types (Hank Williams II would not be happy with you), it’s link #3 on our newly updated A-Z page, which Arto added over 100 entries to over the weekend(!!!!!)

Well after a long day of writing lab reports analyzing the rate that water drips off of a frog – not even in the most corybantic state could I make that fact up – I had a delightful old favorite song get stuck in my head, and realized that it presented so much fodder for the Blog of Funny Names that I had to write about it.

One of the first hits for "Winnemucca." I feel this must be some sort of inside joke, except that it's shared with the whole world.

One of the first hits for “Winnemucca.” I feel this must be some sort of inside joke, except that it’s shared with the whole world.

So today I’ll see that one geographically-inspired post and raise myself 92. Here’s “I’ve Been Everywhere,” penned by Hank Snow and famously performed by Johnny Cash. Then stay tuned after the lyrics for some amazing fun facts that include the phrase “humpin’ my bluey“!

I was totin’ my pack along the dusty Winnemucca road
When along came a semi with a high canvas covered load
If you’re goin’ to Winnemucca, Mack, with me you can ride
And so I climbed into the cab and then I settled down inside
He asked me if I’d seen a road with so much dust and sand
And I said, “Listen! I’ve traveled every road in this here land”

[Chorus: I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breathed the mountain air, man
Travel, I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere]

I’ve been to:
Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota
Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota
Wichita, Tulsa, Ottawa, Oklahoma
Tampa, Panama, Mattawa, La Paloma
Bangor, Baltimore, Salvador, Amarillo
Tocopilla, Barranquilla, And Padilla, I’m a killer

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Boston, Charleston, Dayton, Louisiana
Washington, Houston, Kingston, Texarkana
Monterey, Ferriday, Santa Fe, Tallapoosa
Glen Rock, Black Rock, Little Rock, Oskaloosa
Tennessee, Tinnesay, Chicopee, Spirit Lake
Grand Lake, Devil’s Lake, Crater Lake, For Pete’s sake

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabika
Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica
Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport
Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport
Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina
Pasadena, Catalina, See what I mean-a

[Chorus]

I’ve been to:
Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelbourg, Colorado
Ellensburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, El Dorado
Larimore, Atmore, Haverstraw, Chatanika
Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska, Opelika 
Baraboo, Waterloo, Kalamazoo, Kansas City
Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City, What a pity

[Chorus]

Awesome facts about this song:

  • A kangaroo eating Vegemite. Because some stereotypes are too good to ignore!

    A kangaroo eating Vegemite. Because some stereotypes are too good to ignore!

    It was originally written by an Australian named Geoff Mack and made famous by a fella named Lucky Starr. The Australian version may be better than the North American one. Case in point: it starts “Well I was humpin my bluey on the dusty Oodnadatta road“

  • … and then the fella goes to places like Maroochydore, Ulladulla and Wooloomooloo
  • … and the best part is that they’re confused about where the guy meant when he said Coolangatta, because there is more than one Coolangatta in Australia!
  • Whether you’re singing the Australian or North American version, it’s one of the hardest songs to memorize. I know this because I’ve tried… unsuccessfully… several times. I’ve gotten through three verses on two occasions. It’s an awesome party trick…. if you go to parties with weird people like Arto and I :)
  • But Lucky Starr wouldn’t stop at remembering the lyrics one way. He released an album where he sang four different versions of the song: Australia, North America, Great Britain and New Zealand. Fair dinkum!

What’s the funniest name in the North American version? How about the Australian One?

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May 17 2013
18 Comments
Funny Names In The News

Rest in Peace Dick Trickle! We Barely Knew Ye! It’s Funny Names In The News 38

Well I’ll be darned, if it ain’t time for Funny Names in the News again!

It seemed to be a fairly light week for Funny Names In The News, with only two contributions from our normally prolific correspondents, but perhaps it was kismet. The dearth of updates inspired me to head over to CNN for the first time in a while, and the first result in the left-hand panel spoke of the apparent suicide of famed Nascar driver Dick Trickle.

We hope Dick Trickle is enjoying that delightful Nascar track in the sky.

We hope Dick Trickle is enjoying that delightful Nascar track in the sky.

It’s always sad when I have to announce the death – particularly a suicide – of anyone, but it’s a particularly sad day for Nascar fans and Funny Names fans, because both of us agree that Dick Trickle was one of the best. The only reason we haven’t already covered him on the pages of this esteemed blog is because Arto and his puerile sense of humor couldn’t find a way to write about Mr. Trickle without a bunch of potty-themed puns.  I’m tellin’ ya… the well-mannered, polite Finn gig he’s been pulling over our eyes is nothing but a coverup!

In a way, I feel somewhat responsible. A lot of times, suicides in former athletes are partly a result of their star having faded and them feeling like their best days were behind them. But for people with funny names, it’s a different story. They will continue to bring light and inspiration to our life until the end of our days. I wonder if things would have been different had we given him the time in the limelight he deserved on this blog. The least we can do is wish Dick Trickle’s family, fans, and survivors the best during this difficult time, and hope they know he serves as an inspiration to us all.

And just as they honor recently-passed drivers with a silent lap, to show that the racing sport goes on, so shall we continue to bring you the best names in this week’s news. This one’s for you, Dick Trickle!

“Cumberbatch – it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn’t it? What a fluffy old name.” - Benedict Cumberbatch actually said that

“Cumberbatch – it sounds like a fart in a bath, doesn’t it? What a fluffy old name.” – Benedict Cumberbatch

I’ll start off with everyone’s favorite effervescent showbiz correspondent Amber and her alert that…. well, I’ll let her speak for herself. It went like this:

Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek! With Benedict Cumberbatch. Yes, I’m excited, why do you ask? amb xo. WARNING:  spoilers!

On to sports, where our boxing correspondent Arto… no, just kidding, ME! of course! Brings the news that heavyweight champion bigwig (is that like a triple-big wig?) Alexander Povetkin will be squaring off against Andrzej Wawrzyk, and my pal Briggs Seekins (from my sports journalist days) provides his preview and predictions for what will happen.

In other sports news, Tiago Splitter has reason to smile because his San Antonio Spurs just beat the Golden State Warriors to reach the Western Conference finals for the bajillionth time in the last bajillion and three years. Go Tiago!

Some site called the New York Times brings us news that is sure to let computer-dwellers like ourselves sit a bit more comfortably. “Posture Guru” Esther Gokhale, 

When I think "Go Clay" I think of this clip from Community, but to each one's own.

When I think “Go Clay” I think of this clip from Community, but to each one’s own.

whose name is pronounced GO-CLAY, and whose title shows that in a busy, commercialized world, everything can be given spiritual significance. In the article, Ms. Gokhale and her awesome posture-boosting abilities receive endorsements from such notables as Matt Drudge, and Susan Wojcicki (don’t even try to pronounce that), who could only get a job as a senior vice president at a silly-named company named Google.

Our favorite intrepid showbiz correspondent (who also happens to be the effervescent one) Amb lets us know:

James Van Der Beek is coming back to tv! Along with the also funny named Brooklyn Decker. See, there’s something someone for everyone to enjoy! And yes, of course I totally loved Dawson’s Creek. As if you didn’t see that coming. amb xo.

Like green monster monkeys that are just looking for someone to hug!

Like green monster monkeys that are just looking for someone to hug!

Amb knows I only have eyes for her, though. Who needs to look at a supermodelly, wife-of-the-handsomest-football-player-alive lady anyway? Brooklyn Decker wouldn’t be jazzed about me using the word puerile in a post anyway. Community‘s Alison Brie might… although unlike Amb, I’m sure Alison has her own issues to deal with that aren’t nearly as awesome as not having enough time to talk about how incredible Ender’s Game is!

Alright, that’s it for Funny Names in the News 38 and this week’s Alison Brie photo collage, presented by Nascar and Dick Trickle. See you all on Monday with another exciting post! Enjoy your weekend!

** Can you tell I’m excited that Community has been renewed??!!! *** I’m feeling zippy and corybantic and I’m not even caffeinated!

(Oh, and I’m not only excited about that…. Fannie just sent me one of the best names I’ve ever heard… I don’t think it’ll be ready in time for her post next Tuesday, but it’ll be featured here soon. Pure gold!)

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May 14 2013
24 Comments
funny names in movies, funny names in tv

Fionnula Flanagan

Next week will mark my four month anniversary as a contributor at The Blog of Funny Names. Can you believe it?! Doesn’t it feel like I’ve been talking here for at least fourteen months by now?!?

Wait; don’t answer that.

That’s not the point.

The point, fellow funny-name enthusiasts, is that I feel like we’ve established a deep and meaningful bond here. I mean, I swoon over my multitudes of Imaginary Boyfriends and you manage not to switch off your computer monitors; I rave about Television Shows That You’ve Never Heard Of and you refrain from reporting me to Dave and the boys; I make awkward acapella jokes and you still arrive to catch the latest Funny Names in the News every week …

I so appreciate you letting my geek flag fly around here, is what I’m saying. After all, if we didn’t have this connection, then I wouldn’t be able to introduce you to Fionnula Flanagan!

Fionnula Flanagan in Defiance

Fionnula, looking ageless on the set of “Defiance”

As with the subject of my inaugural BoFN post, Paulo Costanzo, I first spotted Fionnula’s fantastic name on my television screen. The difference, aside from some really awesome alliteration, is that Fionnula stars in of one of my favourite science fiction series, which is not something I would have shared with you in the early stages of our relationship.

But you and I both know we’ve moved way beyond that now.

Back to Fionnula: she was born and raised in Dublin, where her parents, Rosanna McGuirk and Terence Niall Flanagan wanted her to be fluent in both English and Irish. That education paid off when she got her big break: the role of Máire in the Telefís Éireann production of the Irish language play, An Triail. Her performance earned her a Jacob’s Award, which is the not-really-funny-named Irish version of the Emmy Awards. Luckily for us, Fionnula then proceeded to transcend this cultural difference by tackling a series of really-very-funny-named characters in television and film, including:

  • Gerty McDowell in “Ulysses”
  • Clothilde in “Rich Man, Poor Man”
  • Aimee Malissa “Teensy” Whitman in “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood”

More recently, Fionnula is known to geeks like me for her recurring characters on

Fionnula Flanagan with a puppy

Fionnula, looking adorable with a puppy.

supernatural series such as “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and “Lost”. Perhaps her selection of genre fare is the secret to her success, because at age 72 she shows no signs of slowing down, and is currently showing up in my living room every week as Nicolette “Nicky” Riordon in “Defiance“.

Well, I think that about wraps it up for me today! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to construct a miniature TARDIS out of popsicle sticks while listening to The Cranberries. Top o’ the morning to you all!

love amb

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May 06 2013
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Siegfried Fischbacher, Roy Horn, and Their White Tigers

Madonna, Britney, Hillary, Elvis, Kobe. There are some people who the whole world seems to know on a first name basis. Siegfried Fischbacher is one of those people.

Best known as part of the famed duo Siegfreid and Roy, Mr. Fischbacher first met his partner Roy Horn in 1959 when they were both workers on a German ocean liner: Siegfried as a 20-year-old cabin steward and Roy as a 15-year-old waiter. But the German-born cruise-hands weren’t your typical employees. Siegfried, a traditional magician/illusionist, began performing magic for some of the passengers, and was later allowed to have his own show with Roy as his assistant.

Roy Horn smuggled one of these things on to a ship. Siegfried's response: "let's work together more often."

Roy Horn smuggled one of these things on to a ship. Siegfried’s response: “let’s do this more often.”

And in the kind of genius stroke you’d expect from a high school sophomore, Roy decided to commemorate his big break into showbiz by smuggling a freaking cheetah onto the ship! Roy, who had a history with exotic animals, had “come to know” Chico the cheetah during his frequent trips to Germany’s Bremer Zoo.

Just your average teen service employee slash animal lover capturing a carnivorous zoo animal and smuggling it onto a manned ocean liner. Seems normal.

Apparently someone wanted to really lay it on thick that the sixties were a very different time period, so instead of firing Roy or, you know, arresting him for about a dozen things, they decided to give Siegfried and Roy their own show. The duo then moved to Las Vegas, bought a residence together, and were given a regular engagement in Sin City. Because there’s no box for “Rejected due to cheetah smuggling” on immigration forms, Siegfried and Roy became naturalized citizens and in 1972 were voted show of the year.

Their huge break, though, came in 1990, when Steve Wynn – the developer of The Mirage, a brand spankin’ new resort and casino – signed the duo to a $57.5 million guaranteed annual contract.  They became an inseparable part of the Mirage brand, and in 2000, were the 9th-highest-paid celebrities in the U.S., just behind Steven Spielberg.

They continued to build on their success, earning a spot on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and in 2001, were given a lifetime contract with the hotel. Unfortunately, after 5,750 shows together, their act came to an end on Roy’s 59th birthday (October 3, 2003) due to a life-threatening injury.

Roy with Montecore, and a Montecore-inspired bleached haircut.

Roy with Montecore, and a Montecore-inspired bleached haircut.

According to Wynn, and substantiated by Siegfried, a woman with a “big hairdo” in the front row “fascinated and distracted” a white tiger named Montecore who had performed with the duo for many years. When she reached out to pet Montecore, Roy stepped between them, and Montecore grabbed Horn’s arm. Horn tripped and Montecore grabbed Horn’s neck to try to bring him to safety, not realizing Roy didn’t have the thick neck skin that tigers have. As Roy was rushed to Nevada’s University Medical Center to treat his critical injuries, which included partial paralysis and severe blood loss, he told people “Montecore is a good cat. Make sure no harm comes to Montecore.”

That hairdo ended up being costly, as the show was closed after the attack, 267 cast members were laid off, and The Mirage experienced untold millions of losses in ticket sales and casino money.

The story ends happily, however. Roy believes he’d actually had a stroke that led to his tripping, and credited the seven-year-old cat for dragging him to safety. Though the show closed after the attack, Roy regained his ability to speak and walk, thanks in large part to the assistance of his friend and roommate (for five decades) Siegfried Fischbacher. Siegfried and Roy returned to do a final series of shows, including a 2009 performance with Montecore, now 12-years-old. In 2010, Siegfried and Roy performed their final show, with their manager calling it “the dot at the end of the sentence.”

Though their show is over, their pop culture influence is long-lasting. The Simpsons lampooned Siegfried and Roy, and raising questions about the true nature of their relationship. The Michael Jackson song “Mind is the Magic,” is about the duo as well. In 1997, a South African College of Magic established a Siegfried and Roy grant to help provide disadvantaged youngsters the opportunity to pursue careers in the world of magic. Pretty darn snazzy if you ask me!

Roy, a white lion, and Siegfried pose in their living room (seriously) in a battle to determine whose blond haircut is the snazziest. The result: a three-way tie between the lion, Siegfried's jacket, and Roy's ginormous belt buckle. Let us know in the comment section what your favorite part of this photo is.

Roy, a white lion, and Siegfried pose in their living room (seriously) in a battle to determine whose blond haircut is the snazziest.  Let us know in the comment section what your favorite part of this photo is.

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May 03 2013
19 Comments
Funny Names In The News

Funny Names In the News 36, Brought to You by Dave’s Leading Ladies

Happy May 3rd everybody! Is it May already? Good golly, miss Molly! (Or Mister Rollie!)

*gasps* *silence*

*gasps* *silence*

Well, I’d better waste no time in getting to the goods then! This just in: the Sugarhill Gang did NOT invent rap music! No, that was done by a heroic guy named Dewey “Pigmeat” Markam and he did it to peculiar, yet interesting, effect. Here’s an excellent Cracked.com article that profiles the legendary deed, while also giving lip service to one of my leading ladies: the indelible Françoise Hardy. Bonus points: the article also discusses a band called Lothar and the Hand People. How ’bout it!?!

Speaking of my leading ladies, my leading-est lady Amb brightened my day yesterday. As I was on the way to a Jazz Post-1946 midterm where I had to show off my knowledge of Wadada Leo Smith, Ambrose Akinmusire and Afro-pessimist scholar Hortense Spillers, I received this surprising message.

“So apparently you and I are, like, kind of a big deal.”- amb, May 2, 2013, stating the obvious

You see, she gave me a link showing that she and I recently made news now that we’re a “serious item” (how can two comedy bloggers be serious anythings? Kind of defeats the purpose). This fulfills personal goals we’ve both had for ages: my goal to be important enough to get my name in the headlines and “very-nice-person-commenter” Amb’s goal to be covered tabloid-style like they do in those Hollywood gossip mags… you know the type: “Who’s that sizzling arm candy who’s been hanging out on the red carpets with Dave lately? We’ll give you the scoop on all the latest juicy gossip.” That kind of thing. I obviously spend my free time in extremely productive ways :) We were also described as “zippy,” which is a first for me, but probably not for amb. She’s zippy to the core! Anyway, thanks to the clever and entertaining What Do You Do for An Encore (wdydfae or “wadiddifay” for short) for making us feel like celebrities the celebrities we are.

...but hopefully not in a Zippy the Pinhead kind of way.

…but hopefully not in a Zippy the Pinhead kind of way.

And just because she loves the limelight, our Trying to Clear Her Scrabble Rack of Extra U’s correspondent amb also reports on a momentous event in Vulture pop culture news. I’ll leave it to her to report.

Some of my favourite funny people have funny names! and Vulture put them into a countdown!  Singling out Baron Vaughn because of his “the theme songs of early 90s cartoons take up valuable space in my brain” bit. He gets me, man. Feel free to mock me about this for maximum comic effect, amb xo.

What amb doesn’t realize is that I would never mock her! She’s my fay-voo-rit! ;)

Our Washingtonian Whimsy correspondent Fannie Cranium brings us news that 76-year-old Puyallup, Washington resident Mafwana “Maffy” Kelsch has taken up the lawn mower and now mows 35 lawns in her gated community. And Fannie artfully adds “There’s no tomfoolery with a leaf blower, she prefers a broom.” Heavens to Betsy, there’s no news like local news if you’re looking for funny names!

Moving on to another of my leading ladies, Kathleen Edwards, who unfortunately doesn’t have a funny name. (P.S. If you think I’m making up the fact that Françoise Hardy and Kathleen Edwards are some of my leading ladies, you’d be sorely mistaken… in the past six years, I’ve listened to more songs by them than almost anyone else… and yes, I keep track of that.) Anywhoo, Kathleen is quite a witty lady and has a tremendous stage presence, and my only fear in sharing this link is that I hope she doesn’t upstage the humorously named comedian Tig Notaro.

And that sums up another exciting edition of…

Stop the presses, we have some poll results!

Our intrepid sports reporter and avant garde poet Mark Sackler of Millennium Conjectures has closed our NFL draft poll, with some exciting results! The winner is… Barkevious Mingo!

Barkevious Mingo, DE, LSU 30 46%
Bacarri Rambo, S, Georgia 11 17%
Blidi Wreh-Wilson, CB, Connecticut 9 14%
Cornellius Carradine, DE, Florida State 6 9%
Star Lotulelei, DT, Utah 5 8%
Manti Te’o, ILB, Notre Dame 4 6%

Makes me wanna shoop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop!

See y’all on Monday, with an exciting new Funny Names theory!

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