Professional sports has a long and honorable tradition of funny names. We’ve already covered a few of those here, but happily, that well will not run dry too fast.
Here are the fifteen funniest names gleamed from the NHL’s current rosters for the ongoing season.
Bobby Butler, Ottawa Senators
Alliteration is always helpful for reaching that funny sound we search for. It helps when your last name also means something, and when it stands for a profession that sounds kind of humorous in its own right, we can only come to one conclusion. Bobby Butler is a winner.
Tyler Bozak, Toronto Maple Leafs
Just listen to that sound. Bozak. Boe-zak! It’s a great sound effect for a cartoon, or that 60’s Batman show. Even better, Mr. Bozak hails from Regina, the town that rhymes with fun.
I wonder if coaches or opponents ever give him some “come ‘ere, boy, come ‘ere!” taunts.
Alexander Semin, Washington Capitals
Grant Clitsome, Columbus Blue Jackets
*cough*. Now that’s a name straight out of Boogie Nights.
Francis Bouillon, Nashville Predators
Francis makes some delicious soups. Sounds tough.
David Legwand, Nashville Predators
Now there’s a name that just brings to mind all kinds of weird mental images. Fun stuff though, like homeless magicians waving their limbs around to make stuff happen.
Lance Bouma, Calgary Flames
I don’t even know why this one is funny, it just kind of sounds right. Lance is a pretty badass name, maybe that’s why it works.
Cal Clutterbuck, Minnesota Wild
Oh Clutterbuck.Cal Clutterbuck has one of the greatest last names in the world, open to all sorts of fun rhyming games. Mr. Clutterbuck’s handsome mustache also adds to his mystique.
Jared Spurgeon, Minnesota Wild
His name rhymes with one of the funnier sounding fish, so he qualifies.
Clayton Stoner, Minnesota Wild
The third member of the Wild on this list, they seem to collect amusing names over there. Don’t let his name fool you though, he’s no slacker, having worked his way up to the big leagues after five years burrowing in the minors.
Byron Bitz, Vancouver Canucks
We already had one post with endless Itsy Bitsy rhyming schemes, so I’ll spare you. His nickname is of course….Bitzie. Which is really hardcore in that ultraviolent, dangerous game of hockey.
Vernon Fiddler, Dallas Stars
Fiddler appropriately got his first break in hockey playing in Nashville. He’s since been spreading his country music charm all around the southern parts of United States, playing for Phoenix and now Dallas.
Kyle Chipchura, Phoenix Coyotes
Another member of the “it’s just fun to say” group, Kyle Chipchurra hails from Northern Alberta, and has strayed all the way south to Phoenix to escape the cold.
Raffi Torres, Phoenix Coyotes
One of just four players of Latin American descent to have played in the National Hockey League, Torres’ birth name was the Ninja Turtles- inspired Raphael. He goes by the scruffier, more fun “Raffi” in his playing career, to the delight of us all.