Here at the Funny Names Blog, we love a good union of funny-named folks. Part of this is because it’s so rare, and frequently short-lasting. You’d think two people so delightfully intertwined by their nonsensical nominal nuptials would last forever, but that’s not always the case. Taffy Nivert and Bill Danoff, for instance, barely outlasted the Starland Vocal Band’s brief success.
But when it comes to funny-named, but short-lived, marriages, it’s hard to imagine anyone other than Baptist minister Glynn “Scotty” Wolfe taking the cake.
Now most ministers marry a lot of people… from behind the lectern. Glynn Wolfe was an exception: his reluctance to live in sin was seemingly matched only by his desire to get as many women in bed as possible. How do we know this? Well, thanks to this Cracked.com article, we know that he had no fewer than 29 marriages with 26 different women.
In our most popular article to date, we profiled Glynn R. “Donc” Donaho, who almost holds the record for Navy Crosses. But until we decide to do actual research, we think this Glynn might hold the record for most marriages. There are some good names on Scotty’s rap sheet – Marcie McDonald, Priscilla Ralph, Guadalupe Chavez and Christine Camancho come to mind.
But by far, Glynn’s greatest accomplishment was landing a woman named Demerle Goin-Rankin on his 20th try.
Why is this so fantastic? Well, hyphenated names are funny, as are people whose first and last names are extremely unusual. But when it comes to unfamiliar hyphenated names, Demerle Goin-Rankin only has one legitimate competitor for absolute supremacy.
Scotty Wolfe’s longest marriage lasted 7 years, and the shortest lasted only 19 days. He apparently divorced one wife for eating sunflower seeds in bed! (Which reminds us of another eating in bed story we covered during this blog’s infancy).
In any case, Scotty should’ve stuck with Demerle. We know a good thing when we hear it.