This week, I decided to write about a non-baseball related person. Enjoy it, as these non-baseball posts will probably be few and far between!
Moira Quirk (1968-present) is a British actress who served as the referee of the most legitimate sports contest this side of RollerJam… Nickelodeon’s hit TV show, GUTS! I’m not sure if guts is just stylized in all caps or is an acronym for something – perhaps Gosh Ur Totally Silly! (which would be perfectly fitting for the majority of the contestants). In any case, the show featured kids participating in all sorts of wacky events like spelunking through an elastic band “jungle”. Basically, it was a children’s version of American Gladiators.
The “main event”, if you will, featured the kids running up a fake mountain called the Aggro Crag, trying to reach the top the fastest while being pummeled (I use that term loosely) by fake boulders and blinded by fake fog.
The grand prize for enduring these shenanigans? Well, what else than a tacky looking, glow in the dark piece of the vaunted Crag? (Here’s an elated-looking youngster holding up her piece of the Crag). As Dave’s and my dad would say, second prize is two pieces!
But what does Moira Quirk have to do with all of this? Well, she was the referee of all these ridiculous contests, and tried her darnedest to bring some semblance of seriousness to the show despite the silly contests and the show’s just-as-silly host, the overly enthusiastic Mike O’Malley (who would later garner much greater fame for his roles on Yes, Dear, Glee, and a bizarre series of Boston-themed sports commercials ). It was a tall order for the 5’0″ Quirk, so it’s hard to say Moira really succeeded in lending some serious cred to the show. However, I gotta give her props for trying and (most impressively) never – ever, not even once – laughing at the silly spectacle that was GUTS.
Moira has never really reached Crag-level heights of fame, but has had a respectable career as an actress in a variety of shows (such as What’s New, Scooby-Doo?) as well as a voice-over actress for many popular television shows and movies.
But her greatest contribution to society, by far, was making sure that none of the kids were cheating while running up that fake mountain. Now that’s Craggalicious!