“Of course I’m nominated, I’m Benedict bloody Cumberbatch”

It is a joyous day here at Funny Names Central. Why, you ask? Well, to get straight to the point and skip over the lame joke you may have been expecting, our dear friend Benedict Cumberbatch has just been nominated for an Emmy Award! Whoo! Step aside, British GQ Magazine Actor of the Year Award, there’s bigger silverware heading for the Cumberbatch Trophy Cabinet, or “Benedict’s Trophy Batch” as it is not called.

Our congratulations also to other funny named nominees Peter Dinklage, Jon Hamm (mmm, ham – our female readers may “mmm” for other reasons), Mayim Bialik, Joanne Froggatt, and of course, Matthew Weiner. Spot more funny names in the full list of nominees right over here and then yell at me for missing them in the comments below.

On to sports, where Oscar Pistorius is a funny name. He also has funny legs, called Flex-Foot Cheetahs, designed by an Icelandic company named Össur, which may or may not be owned by able-footed fish-hating entrepreneur Gylfi Sigurdsson. Young Pistorius  had both his legs amputated below the knee before he turned 1. This would discourage some people from becoming an elite sprinter, but not Oscar. He will be competing with the world’s best athletes at the London Olympics in a few weeks. An incredibly inspiring story right there.

Oscar Pistorius, Icelandic-legged badass.

Back in American sports, I must admit I don’t watch much baseball. Gladly my esteemed colleagues© have done an exceptional job here handling the numerous funny names in the sport. But scanning through the sports section today I couldn’t help but stop on the baseball pages, where I spotted a mention of a Charlie Furbush, a Seattle Mariner who just injured his tri-cep. I can’t imagine what young Charlie went through in school with a name like Furbush, but it’s probably similar to the experiences of young Ed Balls. I propose a high-level Balls-Furbush summit post-haste. Although I can see problems arising since Mr. Furbush spends his days professionally slamming balls with a big stick. That could get awkward.

Our funny-named friends in England have been busy as well. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, competing for the most upper-crust name in the world, has joined naked cooker man Jamie Oliver in protesting something or other about milk. The BBC may be able to help you figure it all out.

Our Funny-Named Lede of the Week award goes to Burlington, NC’s the Times-News (who also get credit for giving their paper two names for no apparent reason) :

Mindy Lighthipe approaches her botanical artwork with a childlike wonder.

Young Benedict Cumberbatch.

When you start your article like that, I don’t even need to know any more. Mindy Lighthipe, my new favorite botanical artist.

In mildly amusing names accomplishing scientifically impressive, but slightly giggle-worthy things, Stanford scientist Steve Quake is identified here as the leader of a team that has managed to sequence the entire genome of human sperm for the first time. The test subject is identified only as sperm of a 40-year-old man with healthy children. One hopes he has named those children something like Quakerm, or Sperke, in honor of this great Steve of science.

And we wrap our weekly Funny Names report on that high brow note. Have a lovely weekend, and be sure to giggle at amusing names while you’re at it.