Graham “Bunny” Onions

A big ol’ tip of the hat to Becky Gabo Mayhew for introducing us to this fabulously-named cricketer (or cricketeer? I really don’t know).

Graham “Bunny” Onions. No caption needed.

(Dave’s note: Sorry for the late post, but I’m just returning from tea time after a 4-day cricket game. While on the pitch, the third innings went too slowly and the wicket stump got bowled over the popping crease. Life happens. That’s my excuse.)

Some of our readers might be surprised by the amount of research we put into Blog of Funny Names. For most posts, we pick a name from our venerable funny names list (established 2006) and then search all over the place to dig up some fascinating factoids that we can hopefully turn into something entertaining, and we like to make sure we get the details correct. This is serious bidness, folks!

However, there is one exception. Whenever I post about European sports (or Arto posts about loudly whooping mathematicians), the humor tends to come from the fact that we neither know nor care enough to research what we’re talking about.

With that in mind, I present Graham “Bunny” Onions, who plays possibly the world’s most absurd sport: cricket.* Being an American who genuinely tries to be worldly and open-minded, I’ve tried to figure out cricket many times, but I always come to the same conclusion: the game makes no sense to me, and it’s probably because they intended it that way. I work with a Welshwoman with a Ph.D. in neuroscience and she has the exact same sentiments about cricket, so it’s not just an American observation.

Cricket. No caption needed.

Look, I love the British, but sometimes British diction just reeks of ostentatiously unnecessary verbiage. How else can you explain pronouncing Worcestershire as “wooster,” and having the sound “wooster” not rhyme with “rooster”?

But instead of being dismayed by its cryptic nature, I’m adopting the more mature approach of appreciating British English for its funny-name inducing qualities.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, cricket, whose origins were described as “a club striking a ball (like) the ancient games of club-ball, stool-ball, trap-ball, stob-ball.” We didn’t make that up.

There’s also evidence of an earlier game creag being played by king Edward Longshanks in the 1300’s.

Which all led to the great Graham “Bunny” Onions, a right arm fast-medium bowler and a right-hand tail-end batsman. Now why don’t you all be a doll and tell me what that means? Kthxbai!

(*Pesäpallo, the national sport of Arto’s home country, is an equally baffling baseball-derived game, except it involves “one guy holding a multi-colored pole and going “wooolooloooloolooloooo””. That’s a direct quote from Arto’s wife, who he took to a pesäpallo game on a trip to Finland last year. What a romantic, that guy!)

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About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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14 Responses to Graham “Bunny” Onions

  1. amb says:

    Are you kidding? With that face, his name could be “little fluffy bunny” for all I care… your friend Becky is a wise, wise woman.

    • Dave says:

      She seems to be. Her cartoons are awesome too. I can’t believe I forgot to link to her blog when I wrote her name initially. My bad!

      I think if a strapping guy went around introducing himself as “Little Fluffy Bunny” Onions, I’d probably have to respect the guy more for his courage.

      • I’VE ONLY JUST SEEN THIS!! YAY FOR GRAHAM BUNNY ONIONS!! I knew he’d make a good post. But I really want to thank you for introducing me to the word ‘verbiage’. I can’t believe I’ve gone through 27 and a half years without ever hearing or seeing that word. Thank you, Dave. From the bottom of my heart: thank you.

  2. Arto says:

    Well Dave, technically “worcestershire” is pronounced “wooster-sheer” but since you were in the middle of a terrible wicket stump accident in the popping crease I can forgive you for that one.

    What is there to say about Graham “Bunny” Onions, really? Everything about him is hilarious. His name sounds like “bunyons”. He was discovered by someone named Cook, presumably because he wanted to eat young Onions (“funyuns”)? What a man. Swoon!

  3. Arto says:

    The Wikipedia page for cricket measures up to about 12,000 words, some of which are decipherable, but most of which are just nonsense.

    Here’s Graham describing his style, although as far as I can tell, it might actually be from one of the Harry Potter books : “My stock ball is slightly back of a length, hitting the seam, but I bowl the inswinger slightly fuller and it’s a big wicket-taker, especially against tailenders”.

    • Dave says:

      I’m so annoyed with myself that I didn’t read far enough onto his Wikipedia page to see that quote. That one’s definitely a keeper!

  4. paralaxvu says:

    And iffen his tootsies are crooket from playing that cricket, he’d have bunny onions bunions. And iffen he played Easter rabbit for his kids with his bad feet, he’d be Bunny with bunions “bunny” onions. And iffen…

  5. Pingback: Funny Names In The News, Freshly Pressed Edition! « The Blog of Funny Names

  6. Dave says:

    Reblogged this on The Blog of Funny Names and commented:

    An old favorite of mine, recommended by the venerable Becky Gabo Mayhew and at the center of a major bonding experience with Fannie, when we both realized we’d blogged about someone named “Bunny” in the same week.

  7. wdydfae says:

    How did I miss this post?

    “While on the pitch, the third innings went too slowly and the wicket stump got bowled over the popping crease. Life happens.”

    Took the words right out of my mouth.

    My friends and I used to call it “What’s that there sauce?”

    Didn’t Johnny Cash wrote a song called “A Boy Named Little Fluffy Bunny”?

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