(Dave’s note: With today’s post, Rob returns to the Blog of Funny Names after working 113 hours in a 9-day span on a big consulting case. We’re glad to have him back, and I’m sure he’s glad to be back as well. Enjoy Funny Names In The News, Volume 7!)
Like everyone else on earth, we’re here scrambling to find out as much news as possible to become acquainted with the brand new Olympic athlete names that we’ll be hearing a lot of over the coming weeks. However, being the Blog of Funny Names, we take a somewhat different approach.
We’ve already covered 2/3 of the U.S. Women’s basketball team in our Cappie Pondexter article, but our research for these Olympians has brought us upon the name of a talented runner who unfortunately just missed out on a trip to London.
Gaylord Silly made news by setting a new Seychelles record for the 800-metre event, but came short of making the Olympics at the Istanbul indoor championships in March.
If only Olympic trials were judged based on funny names, then this screenshot might have been reversed, because frankly, there are four very good names coming from this heat, and it was the boring one that came in first. At least the great Adam Kszczot earned a qualifying spot in next week’s Olympics.
We’ll be bringing you more funny Olympian names next Monday, but until then, keep your eyes peeled for Adam Kszczot (Polish runner), Florian Fuchs (German hockey player), Bahrainian track star Shitaye Eshete, Chinese trampolinist Dong Dong, and Brazillian soccer player Hulk. Just “Hulk.
In what has to be the best headline of the week, Chelsea (the soccer team) has acquired the treacherous Thorgan Hazard from Lens.
Hazard (born 1993) is an up-and-coming youngster, who was once described by a coach as a “technically gifted player who can settle a match by himself with ease”. He also, in my expert opinion, bears a striking resemblance to pro wrestler “The Miz” in the photo in that article. Hazard plays as either a midfielder and a winger. His brother, Eden Hazard, also plays for Chelsea. Talk about a dangerous duo! One final note on this story – Thorgan’s former team, Lens, is technically known as RC Lens. What does RC Lens stand for? Racing Club de Lens, of course! What kind of soccer team calls itself a “Racing Club?” Beats me.
On a more serious note, some news that has likely been talked about endlessly at office water coolers around the country is the story of…well, Irving Schmidlap. Just kidding folks, but Schmidlap and water coolers aren’t exactly poorly-acquainted. You see, Irving Schmidlap serves as a (possibly fictitious) “adviser” to the Mitt Romney presidential campaign, despite the fact that his main job is filling water coolers. How he made the news beats me, but it begs the question – how thirsty must Romney’s folks be that they need an intern simply to refill their water cooler?