We have Olympic fever here at Funny Names HQ!
But in true funny names blog fashion, we’re really not as interested in swimmers like Ryan Lochte or Michael Phelps as much as the opportunity to get to watch sports like trampolining and equestrian dressage.
Oh yes, and the opportunity to see some fantastic names on the world’s stage. Some Olympians have names that are a tad weird, others are overwhelmingly awesome, but one thing that’s certain is that many athletes at this Olympics are not only representing their countries, but also the entire funny name-loving universe.
In the “Family-friendly anatomical names” category, we have Kiwi rower Michael Arms, Dutch equestrian Tim Lips, and Grenadan track stars Amanda Redhead and Joel Redhead, neither of whom are gingers
- As far as the “not-so-family-friendly anatomical names” category, there are French swimmer Fanny Babou, the hockey Butt trifecta – Pakistanis Rehan Butt & Imran Butt and German Linas Butt. Other members of this category include Canadian trampolinist Karen Cockburn, Canadian swimmer Victoria Poon, and British swimmer Liam Tancock
- In the “I Hope This Name is Apt” category, we have Australian boxer Ibrahim Balla, Brazilian soccer player Hulk, Kiwi cyclist Jack Bauer, and Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt
- In the “I Hope This Name isn’t Apt” category, there’s French hammer thrower Quentin Bigot, French rhythmic gymnast Carole Peon, U.S. Volleyballer Destinee Hooker, American synchronized swimmer Mary Killman, and Canadian track athlete Gavin Smellie
- In the “Consumables” category, there’s South African track star Willem de Beer, British handballer Kathryn Fudge, Dutch rower Sjoerd Hamburger, and British judo guy Colin Oates… all of whom will be consumed by German discus-thrower Markus Munch.
- In the “Names that are repetitive and repeat themselves” category, we’ve got Egyptian wrestler Mohamed Mohamed and his countryman/soccer star Mohamed Mohamed, Chinese trampolinist Dong Dong and Mexican diver German Sanchez Sanchez
- The “Onomatopoeia” category is populated by such greats as Dutch cyclist Lars Boom and Ecuadorian track star Rosa Chacha
And frankly, there are just some names that must be listed in their full glory. The contradictorily-named “Names That Defy Categorization Category” includes:
- Indian badmintonner (hey, Shakespeare invented words too!) Diju V
- Brazilian rower Kissya da Costa
- Chinese shooter Yu Du
- American hurdler Lolo Jones
- Bahrainian track star Shitaye Eshete
- British basketball player Pops Mensah-Bonsu
- The legendary Trinidadian track athlete Sparkle Mcknight
- and once again, the entire US Women’s basketball team.