In the “News that Must Matter to Some People Because it’s on Yahoo!” segment, we realize that we are those “Some People,” due to the plethora of fantastic names in this story. Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak (a.k.a. the singer of “Tardy for the Party” and she of $1 million wedding fame) gave birth to her second son with Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann this Wednesday. Thank you Twitter and Yahoo!*
* (The exclamation mark is part of Yahoo!’s trademark, and not an indicator of our overwhelming appreciation of news reporting on Tweety things.)
The idea of a $1 million wedding strikes me as neither particularly “real” nor indicative that she’ll spend much time doing “housewifey” things, but we do know two things: Ms. Zolciak is from Atlanta, and she and her huddling hubby sure know how to name their kids!**
** (That exclamation mark was sincere)
The newly-born Kash Kade Biermann joins older brother Kroy Jagger “KJ” Biermann, and is now part of one of the best-named families ever (though it still pales in comparison to Bob Geldof’s children’s names) and the illustrious “fraternity of people who are lucky their last name doesn’t start with K”.
Welcome to the world, Kash!
- In the “Stuff that Somehow Escaped Our Olympic Coverage” department, we bring you Shin A-Lam, from the North Korean Olympic team. Unsurprisingly, information on Mr. A-Lam (or Mr. Shin? I need to brush up on my Korean) is sparse, due to, you know, a couple of dudes named Kim and their autocratic personalities.
- Speaking of dudes named Kim, we also managed to miss Kim Yoo-Suk despite constant requests from our readers. Many mea culpas. Perhaps we doo suk. Luckily, there’s a bit more info on him since he’s from South Korea and has competed in the Olympics before.
Finally, in the “Clarifying Sexual Preferences of Deceased Interplanetary Pioneers” category, America’s first female astronaut, the recently-deceased Sally Ride, came out due to some subtle wording in her obituary mentioning “Tam O’Shaughnessy, her partner of 27 years.” Hopefully we’re moving past the point where that is shocking anymore, but what is shocking is how awesomely-named Sally’s partner and sister are.
Presbyterian minister Bear Ride, aka Sally’s sister, confirmed that Tam was, indeed part of the family. We’re pleased to introduce Tam and Bear as part of the Funny Names Hall of Fame family as well. Our condolences and best wishes for them during a difficult time period.