Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt or Benjamin G. Affleckbolt

Rob or Ben Affleck? You decide…

Mister Dave, tell your brother a lady with very sharp eyes thinks he looks like Ben Affleck. – Lady with very sharp eyes at a high school rummage sale, referring to columnist “Mister” Rob

Arto discovered this name and clearly is more qualified to write about it, but I wrote 12 med school application essays today, so I’m taking it anyway. Oh, and I have a hernia. How much does that suck!?!? Oh well, at least I’ll be watching some great boxing in Las Vegas next Saturday, so things could get worse.
Anyway, Benjamin G. Affleckbolt is not a super hero. Actually, that’s not true. He did play Daredevil in the movie Daredevil, about a blind lawyer who fights for justice. Funny, I thought blind lawyers were usually just making that up so they had an excuse to ignore obvious evidence.

You probably already know who Ben Affleck is. He’s that guy in those movies who won an Oscar for co-writing Good Will Hunting, who dated Gwyneth Paltrow, then dated Jennifer Lopez, then dated Jennifer Garner, then married Jennifer Garner.

The fact that I decided to use a picture of a man’s lowest moment in a post about how awesome someone is just proves that I’m not half the man Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt is.

He might have been the biggest movie star on the planet for a brief period around the turn of the millenium, due to his involvement in Good Will Hunting, which he followed with starring roles in Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Sum of All Fears, and Daredevil. Then he decided to follow it up with Gigli, which was only giggle-inducing when you saw Jennifer Lopez clucking like a chicken.  The movie didn’t do so well, and – much to the, um, ABSOLUTE SURPRISE! of everyone – Lopez and Affleck broke up soon thereafter in 2004.

Affleck decided to lay low for a few years, which I would have probably done too if I starred in a $75 million film that grossed only $4 million, but don’t cry too hard for the fella. Just a year after  breaking up with Lopez, he married the lovely Jennifer Garner and has since put together a pretty impressive resume as a director – directing Gone Baby Gone (a very good thriller with a villain named “Cheese”) and starring, writing, and directing the 2010 thriller The Town, which was almost universally well-received.

In addition to his pursuits in the world of entertainment, he is also known as a well-informed advocate for political causes and a generous giver to charity.

You know, Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt is that kind of guy that all men are forced to “hate-respect,” he’s handsome, wealthy, talented, and has had a long and illustrious career in both entertainment and the dating scene. Perhaps he made Gigli just to show us all that he is, in fact, human. Which could be the most generous charitable gift of all.

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names.
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7 Responses to Benjamin Géza Affleck-Boldt or Benjamin G. Affleckbolt

  1. amb says:

    First of all, *swoon*. Obviously. Thanks for making my first day back from vacation look so pretty!

    Second, adding to our list of coincidences, Mr Affleckbolt is hanging out in my neighbourhood right now! His funny-named “Argo” just premiered at TIFF.

    Last, and most important: take care of yourself ok? Distractions from med-school apps (and sucky hernias) available upon request. 🙂

  2. Arto says:

    Ok, I think I was supposed to write this one, but I forgot in the middle of all that moving business. So the man with 68 essays and a hernia decided to take over. Pretty baller.

    On topic, Benjamin G. Affleckbolt is a pretty cool dude, man. Both of the films he directed are set in Boston, providing more entertainment in the delightful Boston-accented crime drama genre I’ve so enjoyed recently. He’s also a really funny dude, as seen in the earlier flicks he made with Kevin Smith and co in the 90s. His resurgence kind of came about after he quit drinking and went through that huge ridiculous media circus with J.Lo and decided, “hey, I could make good movies instead of just being famous.” Ok, I’ve gone too far in my defense of Affleck-Boldt, but the dude’s a cool guy.

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    You wrote 12 med school applications and you still have time to blog? Wow. I’m impressed!

  4. Rob says:

    That incident was, surprisingly, not the only time I have been told I look like Ben Affleck at a garage sale, folks! Some guy also told me that at a garage sale a year or so ago. I might go to one or two garage sales a year, so I find it a pretty weird coincidence. Especially since I can’t recall ever being told I look like him anywhere else.

  5. Pingback: Oscars 2013 : Funny Names Galore at the Academy Awards | The Blog of Funny Names

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