It’s Friday again! That means it’s time to scour the news, the local coupons (mmm, $2 off a car wash, should go for that) and various discredited neighborhood rumor peddlers for this week’s offering of Funny Names in the News!
We start with discreditable rumor peddlers the New York Times, who give us this article set in Kalamazoo, MI, where unnamed donors are paying for free college education for every child who graduates from the town’s school districts. It’s not just an uplifting, inspiring article because of the subject matter. Oh no, there’s more. The kids featured in the main image on the page are named Molly Gritter, Magnificent Hanana, Hirving Hernandez, Shaquona Gardner, Gregory Hale-Sandifer, Cheyenne Gandy, Tinashe Chaponda, Zhi Xuan Wee, Hope Nicholas, and Troy Swodzinski. This group of teenagers provide lasting hope that excellent names are not in short supply in today’s world.
As a cherry on top, the article was written by Ted C. Fishman.
I want to say Kalamazoo, Michigan again. There, I feel better now.
Elsewhere in the news, specifically the island of Lanai in Hawaii, far from the tropical beauty of Kalamazoo, comes the news that software mogul Larry Ellison is, well, buying the island of Lanai in Hawaii. I heard this story yesterday on the radio and what caught my attention was the reporter repeatedly mentioning the name of his local interviewee, Wendell Kahoohalahala. If that looks fun to read, imagine hearing it three times in 60 seconds while sitting in traffic. It’s beautiful, man.
The Emmy Awards are this Sunday. I haven’t really watched TV this year so in my authority of Funny Names Blogger, I will be rooting for the following funny named individuals, for the bonus prize of hearing their names announced time and time again. I’m officially expressing my support for :
Joanne Froggatt, for Downton Abbey. Froggatt. What a wonderful name.
Archie Panjabi, for the Good Wife. Great combination names always win.
Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives. Joosten, Joosten, Joosten. Fun to say, eh?
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock Holmes. An old blog favorite! Go Cummberbund!
Good luck to all funny named nominees!
Finally, I spied this headline cryptically referencing 20’s baseball player Wally Pipp, who apparently had a strong connection to our old friend Biscuit Pants. That should be enough to qualify him in this week’s FNITN. If this blog is anything, it’s about topical references to people who were headline news 90 years ago.