Funny Names in the News – Kalamazoo Edition

It’s Friday again! That means it’s time to scour the news, the local coupons (mmm, $2 off a car wash, should go for that) and various discredited neighborhood rumor peddlers for this week’s offering of Funny Names in the News!

This is the seventh picture that comes up on Google when searching for Kalamazoo. Make of that what you will.

We start with discreditable rumor peddlers the New York Times, who give us this article set in Kalamazoo, MI, where unnamed donors are paying for free college education for every child who graduates from the town’s school districts. It’s not just an uplifting, inspiring article because of the subject matter. Oh no, there’s more.  The kids featured in the main image on the page are named Molly GritterMagnificent HananaHirving HernandezShaquona GardnerGregory Hale-SandiferCheyenne GandyTinashe Chaponda,  Zhi Xuan WeeHope Nicholas, and Troy Swodzinski. This group of teenagers provide lasting hope that excellent names are not in short supply in today’s world.

As a cherry on top, the article was written by Ted C. Fishman.

I want to say Kalamazoo, Michigan again. There, I feel better now.

Elsewhere in the news, specifically the island of Lanai in Hawaii, far from the tropical beauty of Kalamazoo, comes the news that software mogul Larry Ellison is, well, buying the island of Lanai in Hawaii. I heard this story yesterday on the radio and what caught my attention was the reporter repeatedly mentioning the name of his local interviewee, Wendell Kahoohalahala. If that looks fun to read, imagine hearing it three times in 60 seconds while sitting in traffic. It’s beautiful, man.

You gotta love a woman named Froggatt wearing a bonnet. That’s just terrific. Bonnets win Emmys.

The Emmy Awards are this Sunday. I haven’t really watched TV this year so in my authority of Funny Names Blogger, I will be rooting for the following funny named individuals, for the bonus prize of hearing their names announced time and time again. I’m officially expressing my support for :

Joanne Froggatt, for Downton Abbey. Froggatt. What a wonderful name.
Archie Panjabi, for the Good Wife. Great combination names always win.
Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives. Joosten, Joosten, Joosten. Fun to say, eh?
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock Holmes. An old blog favorite! Go Cummberbund!

Good luck to all funny named nominees!

Finally, I spied this headline cryptically referencing 20’s baseball player Wally Pipp, who apparently had a strong connection to our old friend Biscuit Pants. That should be enough to qualify him in this week’s FNITN. If this blog is anything, it’s about topical references to people who were headline news 90 years ago.


About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
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8 Responses to Funny Names in the News – Kalamazoo Edition

  1. I just love FNITN Fridays.

  2. I have no idea where almost any of these names could of came from.

  3. Dave says:

    I don’t know where you find this ish! It’s very impressive.

    • Arto says:

      I forgot to give an honorary mention to Mayim Bialik, who’s also nominated for an Emmy, and on top of that holds a PhD in Neuroscience. Talk about a fall-back career.

  4. Pingback: Extremely Large Pants and Moon Babies! Attack of the Funny Names in the News! « The Blog of Funny Names

  5. Pingback: Macon Whoopee and the Funniest Hockey Team Names Of All Time | The Blog of Funny Names

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