Dixville Notch Segues into Golden Pants – It’s Funny Names In The News 14!

Well folks, it’s Friday, and you know what that means: Funny Names in the News, volume XIV – the reason the phrase “TGIF” was invented!

So what do we have for you this week?

The Balsams Grand Hotel in Dixville, New Hampshire. Also known as the “Book a Room and Boost our Population by Nearly 10% Hotel” among local wisecrackers.

Well, in political news, Iowa has already begun its early voting for the Presidential election between Barack Hussein Obama and Willard Mitt Romney. Whenever I think of Iowa and politics, I think of early presidential primaries. And whenever I think of early presidential primaries, a very funny-named city comes to mind: Dixville Notch, New Hampshire.

You see, while Iowa hosts the first-in-the-nation caucuses during primary season, the first primaries actually take place in New Hampshire. Due to a peculiar rule, if every eligible voter in a town has cast a ballot, then the polls may be closed and the results can be broadcast. So the entire notch – all 12 people – gather at midnight, cast their ballots, and at 12:01am, the polls close and the results are beamed around the country. The tradition began in 1960 and has continued during every presidential primary since.

Why is it calledDixville Notch? Because it’s a notch between Dixville Peak and Sanguinary Mountain, silly! Not to mention, the Notch separates the Connecticut River from the Androscoggin! Is it just me or does Androscoggin sound like the Aggro Crag?

In the Newspaper Funnies section, we have this delightful contribution from the venerable and totally awesome Mark Sackler (who recently had one of his posts Freshly Pressed but refuses to disclose his secrets on just how one gets Freshly Pressed on WordPress… methinks it has something to do with the Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan references). For those who don’t know, Mark is one of our longtime readers who awarded us me (muahahaha!) the inaugural BLAHS award, and continues to inspire us.

This comes from his favorite comic, Peals Before Swine, which clearly deserves its own induction into this blog:

Dinky-McGoogle. Dinky-McGoogle. Dinky-McGoogle.

Speaking of awesomely-named kids, Ever Gabo Jovovich-Anderson‘s mother Milla just released a new Resident Evil movie that I still haven’t seen but really oughta. You know, for the plot…

Oh, and since Arto artfully “segued into her pants” yesterday, I believe KT Tunstall’s golden trousers need no introduction:

Who am I to argue with that logic… or those pants!

P.S. Shout out in a future post to anyone who can come up with the best “golden pants-related” pickup line.

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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16 Responses to Dixville Notch Segues into Golden Pants – It’s Funny Names In The News 14!

  1. marksackler says:

    The Balsams is a magnificent old resort hotel.I have been there!

  2. marksackler says:

    FNITN comment #2…if I knew how I got freshly pressed I would tell myself so I could do it again.

  3. marksackler says:

    I am working on an actual prize for the BLAHS. It will be a totally awesome tee shirt and you will get the first one!

  4. The comic strip is hilarious, because it is so true. You will never be at a loss for material at this point. I just saw a woman named Panda, yes like the bear, on X-factor.
    As for the pick-up line…”Now that’s what I call a “Gold Rush!” “Would you mind if I stake my claim?”

  5. amb says:

    I agree with Life With The Top Down – I was at a wedding last weekend and met someone named Synergy. Synergy!!!

    • Arto says:

      I think she would be very popular among those corporate efficiency gobbledigookers. “What we need in this company is more streamlined solution oriented, backward overflow reversing synergy. Aaaand now, I give you – Synergy!”

  6. asklotta says:

    I bet your pants are worth their weight in Gold…

  7. Rob says:

    “Nice pants babe…I’ve sure been running into a lot of flashes in the pan recently, but you are one huuuuumdinger! I mean a HUMDINGER! Humdinger!”

    • Dave says:

      Oh man… I knew our resident gold prospecting expert would deliver something awesome 🙂

      • Rob says:

        Why thank you! I had a feeling you’d get a kick out of that one. All those years of learning about sluicing, dredging, spelunking, and how to operate a rocker box would come in handy – I just didn’t know it would be in the horrible pickup line department!

  8. Just came back from Dixville Notch….looked around and didn’t see anyone important.

  9. amb says:

    Speaking of pickup lines … I received the following gem over the weekend and feel like you boys would appreciate it:

    boy: hi, sorry to bother you, but I’m hoping you can help me out and settle something between me and my friend over there
    amb: sure, why not?
    boy: great, thanks! could you just feel my sweater for a second?
    amb: ok … ?
    boy: thanks, sorry, i know that was weird, but do you know what this sweater is made out of, by any chance?
    amb: umm… cotton, maybe?
    boy: see, that’s what my friend says too, but i think it’s BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

  10. LOVED the cartoon. Several “New Kids on the Block” (or around town) have been saddled with the “uniquest” names. My siblings? Charlie, Ed, Joe, Mary Anne, and Tom. If THAT trend had held for centuries, you wouldn’t have a blog. –John

  11. Pingback: Election 2012: The Funny Names Presidential Ballot « The Blog of Funny Names

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