Hey! Awesome news, all. It’s Friday! That means it’s time for yet another summary of Funny Names in the News this week.
Speaking of news, I’ve got some for you. I’ve just learned that the long-running British TV series Emmerdale apparently features a character named Chastity Dingle. If that’s not the single greatest name for a fictional character I’ve ever heard, it’s close. Can you think of a better one?
From Chastity to Rwanda, where important work is being done by people with amusing names. Philbert Umawahoro and Clementine Niyigena are leading an effort of trying to tackle a problem of rising drug abuse among young students in the African country. The power of their awesome first names should definitely help them succeed. In all seriousness, we wish them luck.
On to sports, where following this week’s latest soccer names recap we go to Germany to catch up with one of the country’s biggest teams, Schalke (full name Fußball-Club Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 – you can see why they go by just Schalke). The team had a poor game ending in a 2-2 draw last week, and even the team’s splendidly named bus driver Lars Laser could not escape blameless. General Manager Horst Heldt stated after the game that “Everyone has failed here, including the bus driver.” He did not elaborate.
Coach Huub Stevens wasn’t jolly either, but at least the team can take solace in having some of the funniest-named officials in German football. Perhaps they could hire Chastity Dingle as a PR person just to be sure.
Moving on my personal memories of the last two days. I recently purchased an Oven Mitt Romney. In my defence, that’s kind of amusing. I also needed an oven mitt. For $5, ticking those two boxes was good enough for me.
That means we’re just about ready to wrap up this week’s Funny Names in the News segment. Before I do, I should probably mention there’s a horse-racing fellow in New Zealand named Jinky Johnson. We can’t top that so that’ll be the last word today.
Happy weekend all! May it Dingle with Jinky joy!