Well hello there, Funny Names enthusiast(s)! I know you’ve been eyeing the news with that special glare just hunting for a  funny name recently, and so have we! Here are this week’s selections for funny names in the news (or FNITN as the cool folk like to call it. Well, some folk at least).

Kalamazoo Central Maroon Giant Derek Jeter showcasing one of his trademark 80’s disco dance moves.

In a delightful call back to a FNITN post from just a few weeks ago, we can bring you the EXCLUSIVE news that baseball star Derek Jeter, who unfortunately broke his ankle in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series, is from the town of Kalamazoo! This is EXCLUSIVE!!! news in only the sense that we are probably the only source reporting this as an exclusive news item, but that’s good enough for us considering the state of journalism today.

Meanwhile, the American soccerball league MLS released its player salary figures last week. They do this so that other major league athletes can look at what they’re earning and sneer dismissively, I presume. Anyway, that particular news item included the news that the the Executive Director of that league’s players union is called Bob Foose. It is unknown what type of recreational miniature sports games are played at his office, but we can take some guesses while snickering childishly. Which is what is done for amusement at our fictional offices here at the Funny Names News Production World Headquarters, or FNNPWH.

I want to work for this company. I would frame every single paycheck.

(That reminds me of that fact that David Letterman’s production company is called Worldwide Pants. That has to be one of the very best names for a billion dollar corporation anywhere in the world. Send in your favorite trouser-related company names by postcard!)

Finally, I’m delighted to announce that this week, we have a special dispatch from our Amish correspondent, Mailman. Take it away, Mailman!

“Uma Thurman had her daughter with Arpad Busson on July 15, and it’s most likely taken since then for them to finish creating this newly announced name: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. So many potential nicknames in there, but the couple are dubbing her “Luna” for short, despite the fact they have seven great names to choose from and Luna is zero of them. Anyway — belated welcome to the world, little baby Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson!” (Excerpted from a People.com article)

And with that delightful Lunar baby, I wish you all a lovely Friday!