Sandal Scandal, Funny Names at the NFL Draft Update and Reindeer-Herring Entertainment, It’s Funny Names in the News!

Hey, hey, hey! Its Friday again and that means it’s another knee-slapping edition of Funny Names in the News! I won’t reveal why I will be slapping you in the knee, just saying….watch out.

Bless you.

Bless you.

You may have noticed we missed last week’s FNITN due to myself being on a “business trip” to New York City instead of telling tales of funny names – but I’m back! Coinciding with my appearance in that little town over yonder was the start of the Tribeca Film Festival, that eccentric display of independent, obscure and delightful movies about herring and such.

Of course, our marvelous culture correspondent Amb also spotted the start of the festival and zeroed in on a particular film in the program this year : Aatsinki : The Story of Arctic Cowboys, a film about “a family of reindeer herders in Finnish Lapland as they give tourists sleigh rides and battle the elements.” This qualifies in my book as a funny-named film. Especially since as a Finn, I cannot make sense of that title and it definitely sounds funny to me. Thanks Amb!

Next, this week’s edition of our award-winning coverage of Questionable Footwear Naming Decisions, we bring you a tale of the Target Sandal Scandal. You see, the distinguished shopping chain Target has a new line of sandals, and they’ve named it Orina. You don’t have to know Spanish to figure out that this means something you don’t want to step into, but inevitably will most Wednesdays in the men’s room of the local Irish pub. And you don’t want to be wearing sandals when that happens.

The FCC has not given us any grief for our irreverent content so far, and I think I know why. Their current chairman Julius Genachowski has a very funny name, and is apparently fairly lenient, letting David “Big Papi” Ortiz off the hook for using a -*gasp*- expletive during a live broadcast of a Boston Red Sox game this week. I think they’re finally catching on to the fact that no one cared about Janet Jackson’s not-actually-exposed nipple and no one definitely cares about a guy named Big Papi saying a naughty word. Way to go, Julius!

I'm just attaching this picture here because I'm super hungry.

I’m just attaching this picture here because I’m super hungry.

This week’s Excellent Reportage of Funny Names by a Person with a Funny Name Award is hereby granted to Dave Dildine for his fun little piece on strange road names in the D.C. area. Check it out here. Liz, I’m thinking you’ll get a kick out of English Muffin Way, which does sound a delicious route to take, no matter how you slice it.

The NFL draft began last night, as you well know. Here’s Funny Names Blog’s Senior Sports Correspondent Mark Sackler with the big news on which funny names went to which teams this time around :

Cordarrelle Patterson.  Minnesota drafted his belt and bow tie 29th.  I think they got him, too.

Cordarrelle Patterson. Minnesota drafted his belt and bow tie 29th. I think they got him, too.

Well Arto, the first round is history.  As anticipated Barkevious Mingo, a defensive end from LSU,  was the first of our funniest name nominees to be drafted, going at #6 to the Cleveland Browns.   Star Lotulelei, a defensive tackle from Utah, was the next funny name nominee to come off the board, going to Carolina at #14.   We reported originally that Monti Te’o would probably be a late first round pick, but he didn’t get chosen.  Somebody early in today’s 2nd round will pick him up and get his mock girl friend as a bonus.  Still to be chosen from our funniest names roster are also Cornellius “Tank” Carradine, Blidi Wreh-Wilson and Bacarri Rambo.  They should all go in the 2nd and 3rd rounds today.  All but one of our honorable mention names went in the first round as well.  Only Darius Slay remains from that group.  It’s also worth noting that while University of Tennessee wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson didn’t quite make the funny name cut, he certainly deserves some sort of recognition for the funniest overall combined look and name.

Be sure to vote in the poll for your favorite funny name in the 2013 draft class below – vote as many times as you like, and check back next week for the winner :


About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
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7 Responses to Sandal Scandal, Funny Names at the NFL Draft Update and Reindeer-Herring Entertainment, It’s Funny Names in the News!

  1. Liz says:

    English Muffin Way (no matter how you slice it–very very good, Arto 😉 ) AND Frying Pan Road. This is a FNITN not to be missed! The reindeer movie sounds very good actually but I won’t be buying them sandals. (Sandal Scandal? Awesome!)

    On another note, why did you put “business trip” in quotes in your first paragraph? What kind of trip would steal your loyalty to your legions of fans? (and by legions of fans, I am referring to amb–haha) I am working on the Sweet Licks Pony Cake Crusher badge that you requested and should have it in the mail soon. Enjoyed having you back. Give my best to Leslie 🙂

    • Arto says:

      I don’t really know, I think “business trip” just sounds funnier than business trip. Haha, just like “real world business”. Ooh, I can’t wait to have the badge. Hopefully I’ll never have to crush a pony cake, unless it’s a pinata type deal – that would be fine. Glad you enjoyed the muffins and frying pans, I knew you would!

  2. Arto-Great “come-back” post. You had me laughing to the very end.

  3. Dave says:

    Big Papi is quite the big league bopper. He has an advanced bat!

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