Funny Names In the News 36, Brought to You by Dave’s Leading Ladies

Happy May 3rd everybody! Is it May already? Good golly, miss Molly! (Or Mister Rollie!)

*gasps* *silence*

*gasps* *silence*

Well, I’d better waste no time in getting to the goods then! This just in: the Sugarhill Gang did NOT invent rap music! No, that was done by a heroic guy named Dewey “Pigmeat” Markam and he did it to peculiar, yet interesting, effect. Here’s an excellent article that profiles the legendary deed, while also giving lip service to one of my leading ladies: the indelible Françoise Hardy. Bonus points: the article also discusses a band called Lothar and the Hand People. How ’bout it!?!

Speaking of my leading ladies, my leading-est lady Amb brightened my day yesterday. As I was on the way to a Jazz Post-1946 midterm where I had to show off my knowledge of Wadada Leo Smith, Ambrose Akinmusire and Afro-pessimist scholar Hortense Spillers, I received this surprising message.

“So apparently you and I are, like, kind of a big deal.”- amb, May 2, 2013, stating the obvious

You see, she gave me a link showing that she and I recently made news now that we’re a “serious item” (how can two comedy bloggers be serious anythings? Kind of defeats the purpose). This fulfills personal goals we’ve both had for ages: my goal to be important enough to get my name in the headlines and “very-nice-person-commenter” Amb’s goal to be covered tabloid-style like they do in those Hollywood gossip mags… you know the type: “Who’s that sizzling arm candy who’s been hanging out on the red carpets with Dave lately? We’ll give you the scoop on all the latest juicy gossip.” That kind of thing. I obviously spend my free time in extremely productive ways 🙂 We were also described as “zippy,” which is a first for me, but probably not for amb. She’s zippy to the core! Anyway, thanks to the clever and entertaining What Do You Do for An Encore (wdydfae or “wadiddifay” for short) for making us feel like celebrities the celebrities we are.

...but hopefully not in a Zippy the Pinhead kind of way.

…but hopefully not in a Zippy the Pinhead kind of way.

And just because she loves the limelight, our Trying to Clear Her Scrabble Rack of Extra U’s correspondent amb also reports on a momentous event in Vulture pop culture news. I’ll leave it to her to report.

Some of my favourite funny people have funny names! and Vulture put them into a countdown!  Singling out Baron Vaughn because of his “the theme songs of early 90s cartoons take up valuable space in my brain” bit. He gets me, man. Feel free to mock me about this for maximum comic effect, amb xo.

What amb doesn’t realize is that I would never mock her! She’s my fay-voo-rit! 😉

Our Washingtonian Whimsy correspondent Fannie Cranium brings us news that 76-year-old Puyallup, Washington resident Mafwana “Maffy” Kelsch has taken up the lawn mower and now mows 35 lawns in her gated community. And Fannie artfully adds “There’s no tomfoolery with a leaf blower, she prefers a broom.” Heavens to Betsy, there’s no news like local news if you’re looking for funny names!

Moving on to another of my leading ladies, Kathleen Edwards, who unfortunately doesn’t have a funny name. (P.S. If you think I’m making up the fact that Françoise Hardy and Kathleen Edwards are some of my leading ladies, you’d be sorely mistaken… in the past six years, I’ve listened to more songs by them than almost anyone else… and yes, I keep track of that.) Anywhoo, Kathleen is quite a witty lady and has a tremendous stage presence, and my only fear in sharing this link is that I hope she doesn’t upstage the humorously named comedian Tig Notaro.

And that sums up another exciting edition of…

Stop the presses, we have some poll results!

Our intrepid sports reporter and avant garde poet Mark Sackler of Millennium Conjectures has closed our NFL draft poll, with some exciting results! The winner is… Barkevious Mingo!

Barkevious Mingo, DE, LSU 30 46%
Bacarri Rambo, S, Georgia 11 17%
Blidi Wreh-Wilson, CB, Connecticut 9 14%
Cornellius Carradine, DE, Florida State 6 9%
Star Lotulelei, DT, Utah 5 8%
Manti Te’o, ILB, Notre Dame 4 6%

Makes me wanna shoop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop!

See y’all on Monday, with an exciting new Funny Names theory!


About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names.
This entry was posted in Funny Names In The News and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Funny Names In the News 36, Brought to You by Dave’s Leading Ladies

  1. Liz says:

    shoop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop, shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop–you say the darndest things in this FNitN posts, Dave. Love that Davember is a thing now. Nicely done with the buzzy (and yes, zippy) patter 🙂 Happy Fri to you and yours!

    • Dave says:

      Haha, I honestly don’t know where that came from, but it just seemed to be a good time to pay homage to Salt-n-Pepa 🙂 Happy Friday to you and yours as well!

      On my USC application, they asked me what three words people would use to describe me. I forget the ones I chose… I believe “industrious” was on there… but if I ever need to do that again, I’ll choose “zippy” this time 🙂

  2. amb says:

    So, how many consecutive hours had you been awake for when you wrote this one, babe? More proof that some of the funniest editions of FNITN are the sleep-deprived ones! You know you’re my favourite too, even if that picture of Zippy does scare the bejeesus out of me …

    PS: Fannie, that lawn mower story was GOLD!

    • Dave says:

      I’m trying to remember. Somewhere in the range of 17 hours. I was caffeine free for this one, though. I’m getting more organic with my silly posts!

      And yes, Zippy is a peculiar looking lad, that’s for sure!

  3. wdydfae says:

    That is what I would call a zippy post!

    But I haven’t seen or thought about Zippy the Pinhead for years.

    Is that a good thing?

    I’m happy to join the boisterous circle of mutual blogger backslapping!

    BoFN has been a big inspiration to me from the moment I read it. My most read posts by far (we’re talking degrees of magnitude here) are the ones about Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, but I only started writing up Kyary in pale imitation of BoFN greatness.

    Keep up the splendid work, and keep spicing up our world with with that sizzling Ambravean romance.

    • Dave says:

      Aw shucks! You’re too kind! I’m glad the Kyary Pamyu Pamyu ones are bringing you some quality hits! It’s amazing how many people search for funny-named people online. It’s an untapped market 🙂

      P.S. Amb, did you hear that? Ambravean… gives Davember a run for its money!

      • amb says:

        I feel like “Ambravean” is more of an adjective … or a verb …

        like if, say, a particularly witty and intelligent guy and a bright and chatty girl meet and discover they have a number of things in common and end up flirting on several blogs and other social media platforms

        … then they’re being ambravean!

      • wdydfae says:

        It works on different levels, too! In Ghrydjustan, “Ambravean” means “Get a room.”

        • Liz says:

          This is too awesome–we’re mining gold here!! You guys are so so good. Amb, care to add these new words to your Wed post? Though this second version would most certainly not be suitable for children. That said, how many 12-and-unders make up your readership? (threw in that last word to impress you.)

          • amb says:

            Teehee. I like that you added that, I like it a lot. I can definitely work on an upcoming Wednesday post for this! Love the way your mind works Liz!

        • amb says:

          LOL! Actually, Wdydfae, we’ve heard that before, too. From Arto, no less:

  4. This is another great example of why I love FNITN Fridays. I can never decide which I love more the post or the comments!

  5. Arto says:

    Hortense Spillers is one of my favourite Afro pessimists…But I do also love a good Afro optimist, say in the mold of Wangari Maathai. Or in her clothes at least.

    Zippy-dee-doo-dah what a lovely news roundup!

  6. Pingback: My Life as a Movie Monday: To Rome With Love | words become superfluous

  7. Zippy Do Da, Dave and Amb!

  8. Pingback: Fionnula Flanagan | The Blog of Funny Names

  9. Pingback: Rest in Peace Dick Trickle! We Barely Knew Ye! It’s Funny Names In The News 38 | The Blog of Funny Names

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