Funny Names In The News #42: A Momentous Occasion in Three Parts

Hello Funny Names Blog readers new and old,

Today’s is an extremely important post. Not only has Funny Names in the News reached its 42nd edition, but it also marks the day when I gain the upper hand in Amb’s and my little contest, that has become anything but little. (The last paragraph of this post gives a background story… for more details look at Amb’s relentless assault of kind words about me in every recent post of hers.) Word on the street is she is declaring victory today. Au contraire! She will see why after our weekly roundup of all things funny named and newsy.

Part 1. In Which I Make Everything Seem Like a Normal FNITN 

Yes, you will address me as SIR Chips Keswick!

Yes, you will address me as SIR Chips Keswick!

So… it looks like our Finnish-American British “football” correspondent Arto has stumbled onto another excellent name on the pitch. Barclay’s Premier League hotshots – the Arsenal Gunners – have appointed Sir Chips Keswick as chairman.

And just to prove that even talented NASCAR drivers aren’t immune to mean tabloid-like coverage, Parker Kligerman (#8 in the Nationwide series) was recently filmed driving with a jack out of pit road, which happens to all of us every now and then.

Trust this man. We do.

Trust this man. We do.

In the “news that came to me in the form of a large vehicle merging onto the freeway” updates, I’m delighted to inform you that Francisco “Kiko” Vega is running for Gobernador just south of my neck of the woods. Now we try to be nonpartisan here on the Blog of Funny Names, but if you’ve read any Funny Names Theory lately (or simply followed our posts for a while), you know that mustaches are second only to funny names on our list of things we love.

So we hereby endorse Francisco “Kiko” Vega’s candidacy for Gobernador! 

… In extortion-related news, brought to us by a correspondent who preferred to remain nameless for fear of retribution (but who was obviously Arto), we find that having an agent named Beppe Bozzo can be a pretty strong negotiating tactic sometimes.

Rest in peace, big guy! You will be missed.

Rest in peace, big guy! You will be missed.

You know what else can be a strong negotiating tactic? Being a mafia boss, or at least playing one on TV. So it is with great sadness that we report the death of James Gandolfini – a great guy and great actor best known for playing Tony Soprano on The Sopranos  earlier this week of a heart attack. He was 51. Sometimes the biggest hearts are the ones that leave us first.

Amb was so struck by the news that she didn’t add any additional comments (that must be a first), but Funny Film Names Correspondent Arto tells us that one of Gandolfini’s final performances was as Bobby Eggs in a TV film called Nicky Deuce. It’s no wonder he liked the guy 🙂

And in our last FNITN update this week, our “Does He Read The Missoulian All The Time? Yes, He Assures Us He Does” Correspondent Arto is proud to report that Minkie Medora of the Montana Food Bank Network had some good ideas to share at a recent roundtable. Arto also informs us that The Missoulian mentioned Critter Fuqua and the Old Crow Medicine Show will be playing Missoula on July 3rd. So there.

Part 2: Milestone Announcements

This past week, the Blog of Funny Names reached 100,000 page views! When two weird brothers started making a list of odd baseball names back in one of their ex-girlfriends’ houses in 2006, who could have envisioned they would later join forces with a flippant Finn (who would later be introduced to and marry said ex-girlfriend), start a blog with a post on Outerbridge Horsey, and then enlist a lovable ragtag bunch of scrappy, witty bloggers to join them on this crazy adventure.

To Amb, Arto, Fannie, Liz, Mailman, Mark, and Rob, thank you all for being a part of this wild ride. 303 posts in, and we’re only getting stronger, and it wouldn’t be possible without you.

Also, we are pleased to announce that Leslie and Arto reached their Kickstarter goal of $12,500 and will begin doing rotary printing of their Hankybooks! Woohoo!

Part 3: Where I Destroy Amb In A Fit of Acute Swooniness

Dean Pelton

So as I mentioned earlier, Amb has been talking a big game. She made pink T-shirts.  She decided this morning to declare victory (or at least… that is until Jeff Winger and I intervened).

But as much as Amb loves and worships my brain, she seems to have underestimated my capabilities. You see, I do my best work behind the scenes, bringing people together, weaving a broad web. Amb wouldn’t be here if not for my reaching out. Neither would Liz, nor Fannie, nor Mark or Mailman or most of our favorite commenters and readers.

So while Amb was busy talking, and boasting, and declaring victory. I was working behind the scenes. Recruiting some friends, and planting seeds that have finally blossomed into full-fledged images at the bottom of posts all over WordPress. They’re everywhere, especially on Amb’s blog.

And Liz is on board. The proof is here, and in the proverbial pudding.

And after bringing Liz on board, what do I do for an encore? Well how about this? And this?

Then I decided to recruit some Friends: there’s Phoebe and Rachel and Joey and Monica and Ross and Chandler. Again, all here due to me.

I wouldn't disagree with her.

I wouldn’t disagree with her.

But it goes beyond just my Friends. In fact, the whole Community is now engaged. Britta reluctantly agreed; Jeff and Troy are on board, Chang and Shirley are too. How about little Annie Edison? And Pierce? They too are believers.

And those blossoms are just the beginning. I’ve planted some seeds on Fannie’s blog, and Mark’s, and Becky’s, which shall all be blooming shortly. (Stay tuned here for the updates.)

Update 1: Fannie Cranium now seems to be a believer … twice.

Update 2: Look what has sprouted up on Mark’s blog

So you see, I may look dormant at times, but the truth is I never sleep. The wheels are always turning, and the results come to fruition as the victories inevitably emerge. Amb, you are lovely and delightful, but for all who choose to challenge me, treat this as a cautionary tale. Dearest Amb, it’s been fun playing, and thank you for the kind words in this morning’s post. It has been wonderful.

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About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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34 Responses to Funny Names In The News #42: A Momentous Occasion in Three Parts

  1. Pingback: WoW Fridays: Sara Bareilles | words become superfluous

  2. wdydfae says:

    Brilliant! Dave’s the man!

    I’ll sign up for any mission to support Dave now, as long as it doesn’t involve a pink t-shirt.

    O Captain! My Captain!

    • Dave says:

      Glad to have you on board. Thanks again for your support. Amb will recover from the onslaught of positivity eventually 🙂

  3. Liz says:

    Thanks for the shout-outs, Dave. (I only went along for the food for fun publicity, you know 😉 ) Love that I’m part of a lovable ragtag bunch and that we’re also scrappy and witty. Am so going to put that on my resume!

    My recommendation on how to call this contest is found in my comment on amb’s post. Clearly neither of you have backed down so… You get lots of points for time spent on this closing piece. Seems you saved up all your energies for the final round. BUT. I do not see this as a knockout punch (really trying with the boxing talk here, so please forgive if not phrased correctly) as amb delivered her “victory” speech from higher ground. Can you both win?

    And to Amb: My apologies are over at your WBS post as well. Though I’m not really sorry about helping Dave ’cause this just shows how much he looooooooves you. But I am sorry that I had to sneak around. (Though Diddy seems not to share my sense of remorse–haha) I am still flying the flag that is hot pink and has owls on it 🙂

    • Dave says:

      Haha, fair enough. It only seems fitting in a game of compliment-delivering-one-upsmanship that everybody wins. I’m glad to share the honors with Amb. 12-round majority decision draw. In my defense, I must say that it’s easy to make a “higher ground” speech when you think you’re the inevitable choice, and I think the end goal of my subterfuge – to deliver seventeen original compliments (with more on the way as Mark, Fannie and Becky come on board) – oughta be taken into account. In any case, this has been fun, and I’m glad you came up with the week-long extension. Oh, and I can’t explain just how excited I was when that “Proof is in the pudding” pun worked out so perfectly!

      Thanks again for your help!

      Alright, I’ve been up since 3am, so I’m taking another nap and then I’ll be back in a few hours. Haha, and maybe our next competition should be between you and Arto to decide who is the better mediator. You may know I have another competition going – Leslie and I are going to see whose startup company (hers, or my soon-to-be-announced one) can get to $40K in profits first. Somehow he has still kept an unscathed reputation despite being involved in both.

      I’ll be back in a few hours. This has been super fun, and really stretched my mental abilities and lateral thinking – good for staving off alzheimer’s and dementia in later years.

      • Liz says:

        ’cause that’s why we’re doing this, Dave. To stave off chronic mental ability wasting diseases. Once again you have me laughing out loud (not easy to do because I’m a stoic Minnesotan*). 🙂 Yes to super fun.

        I will pass on the competing with Arto thing for now as he’ll need all of his competitive energies to help Leslie beat you to that $40K mark. (Surely the wife will always win her husband’s loyalties.)

        Nap well…

        *not really stoic, no

    • wdydfae says:

      Dave’s brilliant strategy upholds the honor of males everywhere. He is our Napolean. Vive le homme!

      I think when this is over it has to be decided by one of those poll things.

      Or if that’s too subjective, rock, scissors, paper!

  4. Pingback: A Very unSuperfluous Update | words become superfluous

  5. amb says:

    Oh, my.

    First of all, that Dean-meme made me spit my coffee all over my keyboard, so you get points for that. Best. Thing. Ever.

    Second of all, don’t nap for too long, babe. My initial response is up here: http://wp.me/p2myYW-11b and you’d better believe there’s more coming later today.

    Finally, and most importantly … thanks for playing!!! This has been so. much. fun – and it isn’t over yet!

    xo.

  6. Pingback: Oscar Peterson & How Long Has This Been Going on? &Transcription | What Do You Do for an Encore?

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  8. Arto says:

    I haven’t the slightest clue what’s happening here, but I do like pudding, so carry on.

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  10. Pingback: making-do-with-what-I-have pumpkin bread pudding | food for fun

  11. wdydfae says:

    I liked those updates! I wish I knew more about pop culture and current tv so I knew who the people were, but if it’s like what Dave did with Friends, I can assume he nailed those characters 100%! Kudos, sir!

    This epic Davember joust has raised voyeuristic fascination to a whole new level!

    • Dave says:

      Haha, thank you! I appreciate it 🙂 I put in a lot of effort so it’s good to hear my efforts were well-received. 🙂

  12. wdydfae says:

    But alas, only smoke and an eerie silence rises from the rubble and carnage.

    • Liz says:

      Could you BE any funnier, wdyfae? 😉 (complimenting here, not sarcasm) Seems the blogosphere wastes no time moving on.

      • Dave says:

        Haha, ain’t that the truth. It’s a fickle thing, as is Google. Somehow we went from 5th on the first page of Google search results for “Funny Names” to somewhere on the 12th page of results. Inexplicable!

  13. Pingback: Hey, Girl. | words become superfluous

  14. Marti says:

    Congrats on hitting a new milestone. Here’s to reaching the magical 7 digits.
    Marti

  15. Pingback: Yippee Skippy! It’s Funny Names in the News 43 | The Blog of Funny Names

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