Boy howdy! Is it Friday already? Fair dinkum?!?
Well I’ll be darned!
This week’s FNITN won’t be as eventful as part 3 of last week’s victory march, because I simply don’t have a gazillion hours available every week to woo Amb in a fit of swooniness. Sorry darling!
We start off this week’s Funny Names in the News with a peculiarly-named fella – our very own Arto J@@k*l@. Thanks to my extremely clever use of symbols, his identity is still a secret… but his location ain’t! The dude is already in Las Vegas. Lucky duckling! He’s at the Riviera. Hunt him down. If last year’s trip is any indication, he’ll be the white guy fondling Ted Danson.
Meanwhile, our token white(r than me) guy Arto brings us the fantastic news that Buddy Wilbert Champagne and Claire Rose Champagne celebrated 56 years of marriage last February. How ’bout it!! Every good journalistic team needs someone who peruses Houston’s Culture Map page. Fo’ real!
“Angkor What?” you say – well I’m not sure, but Amb decided that “The more you say it, the better it sounds!”
And it gets even better if you say “lasers” like Doctor Evil would (who is also Canadian, btw 😉 ) – Amb
I’m inclined to trust her on that. The CBC also informs us that the ancient city was known as Mahendraparvata, which probably translates into something awesome like East Rochester in Cambodian. We know where Fannie will be traveling next!
Well… it seems that after my pony cake crushing of Amb in our game of complimentary one-upsmanship (and one-upswomanship, to be gender neutral), the rest of my correspondents decided to go on holiday! Thank goodness I saved two superfluous items from last week’s jam-packed FNITN or this page would be empty. And frankly, I have an important phone call in the morning, and still have to pack for Vegas tonight, so I don’t feel like scouring the Missoulian like Arto tends to do.
So you know what that means…
Funny Names in the News Improv!
… where Dave makes things up that could be newsworthy…
We have a great set of birthdays to celebrate on this fine June 28th. Did you know that legendary flask pioneer Richard ACE Erlenmeyer would be celebrating his 188th birthday today? Well… now you have! It turns out we have a lot of famous folks from the 1800’s who would be celebrating that special day today (thanks HistoryOrb!)
- Italian princess and politician Cristina di Trivulzio di Belgioioso celebrates the big 205 today!
- Erstwhile foreign affairs minister Jacob P P baron van Zuylen van Nijevelt gets 197 butt-slaps for his birthday. Just think… you live 197 years and people still make “Your middle name is P P” jokes…
- And we have a pair of double birthdays, with one of my heroes Paul Broca (who discovered Broca’s area, where language is articulated in the brain), and my new hero – because y’all know how much I love my Confederate Brigadier generals… ain’t that right, Paula Deen? – William Tatus Wofford. These two fine fellows will throw back 188 beers for their special occasion.
- and last, but not least, Swede of the Year 1847 award winner (he deserved the award just for being born with this name) Sveinbjorn Sveinbjornsson celebrates the big 1-6-6… that’s a pretty big birthday. We can all relate.
Oh goodness, and that’s just folks born in the first half of the 19th century. Lookee here for some fantastic doozies!
In Dave-related news, my favorite quadriplegic comedian Vincent Emmanuel Sittington had his first show as a featured performer last night. The video isn’t available yet, but here’s some footage of an open mic he did recently. Several years ago, Vince was hit by a car driven by someone who may or may not have been as old as Sveinbjorn Sveinbjornsson’s mother, and has been doing some awesome comedy work lately. A great guy… always there to remind you to keep things in perspective.
And lastly, in case you’re looking for me this weekend, look for the guy in the red sweatshirt holding $100 bills after Gennady Gennadyevich Golovkin records a knockout of Matthew “Mack The Knife” Macklin. I like Macklin too, but GGG is just too tough a customer for the rugged Irishman to handle.
To Sin City!