Naming a child can be a bit tricky sometimes. Such as when you have an awesome name like Bolton Power, and you are a kickass war general of some sort. What could you possibly name your son that would better your own name?
That’s right, you name him Manley Power. This is, without a doubt, the manliest name ever covered in this blog. Even manlier than Wolfgang Wolf, Ed Balls, or Archibald Throckmorton. Well, maybe that last one gives him a run for his money, but it’s a pretty short run.
So, Manley Power. With a name like that, you must feel you have something to live up to. With that in mind, what better way to start than to get working for your dad at the age of 9. Pops being a Captain in the British Army. Apparently this was totally cool in the late 1700s. Today maybe one or two people would have a problem the idea of dad bringing his 9-year-old to work with him in the military.
Then again, the 9-year-old was called Manley Power, so who would really argue?
Manley became an accomplished military man himself, serving with funnily named units like the Royal Horse Guards, the 20th Regiment of Foot and its sequel, the 32nd Regiment of Foot. Must have been some foot. He worked under the legendary Sir Ralph Abercrombie at the Battle of Alexandria. Sir Ralph later became a hipster and started a clothing store with lots of half-nude male mannequins built in his own image.
Mr. Power (I could get used to responding to that name) served admirably for the British in the Peninsular War as well as the War of 1812. If you’re not that
familiar with history, it’s OK, I also don’t know what I’m talking about right now, but that’s not important. What’s important is that Manley Power knew what he was doing at those conflicts, and as you might expect from a man such named, he kicked some serious ass. And I don’t mean he dropkicked a donkey. But I wouldn’t count it out either.
At some point, Mr. Power became Sir Power. Sir Manley Power. Later in his life he served six years as Lieutenant Governor of Malta. In Britain he wasn’t only known for his manly name, but also as Lord of the Manor of Walford, which he could use to introduce himself at fancy parties only to drop the nugget of his real name later in the evening to the considerable amazement of all involved.
At least, that’s how I’d like to imagine it.
So, we hereby anoint Sir Manley Power a total badass in the Funny Names Hall of Fame.