I just met Arto’s extremely fair-haired Finnish relatives – who just touched down in San Diego Saturday night (at 10am Sunday morning Finnish time) – so I decided I’d use today’s post to give a shout out to one of his Finnish friends who suggested a pretty fantastic name in the “Suggest a Name” feature at the top of our blog.
Not sure if everyone knows, but we do read every single name that gets submitted that way, and because of the wit of a particular blond-haired Finn who co-founded this blog, several of our authors receive an email titled Hoo-Diggidy Boy Howdy! New Funny Name Submission! every time that happens.
Why the weird title? Well, Arto is weird, and so am I, and every now and then when we have nothing better to do on a Friday night after basketball, we do what all the cool kids do – play online Sporcle quizzes and look up funny figures of speech and bizarre English dialects. In fact, those quizzes can inspire blog posts, and the dialects – in this case, Australian and southern ones – can apparently inspire email titles.
In any case, last week, an email from Arto’s friend Kalevi showed up, suggesting we cover Kind Butler, III, an American track and field athlete. This immediately caught my eye for several reasons. First, funny names usually do, and that is a funny name. Secondly, although I’ve never met the bloke, I know of Kalevi through his made-up screen name Kulakki on various social networking sites, and for a long time, Kulakki (which I should mention again, is a made up name) comprised my entire Finnish vocabulary, and was the only way I could imitate Arto’s native tongue with any semblance of credibility.
Who am I kidding… I lost that credibility ages ago!
Aaaaaaanyhoo, Kind Butler, III is an amazing name. It’s well known that we appreciate numerals after names because it means several of people must have had that name in the past. In fact, it’s part of why Outerbridge Horsey VII is in our not-so-humble opinion, the greatest name of all time. Secondly, it’s a rare funny name that could also exist as a phrase. Who doesn’t want a Kind Butler?
Kind Butler, III is also a very impressive athlete. Although he narrowly missed the 2012 Olympics after earning a trip to the Olympic trials, he has been pulling in some good results lately, just out of podium positions at the U.S. track and field championships. The recent Indiana University alum still has some good years ahead of him, and is very versatile – running in both individual and relay events from 60 to 400 meters. His high school career – during which he played baseball and football, and participated in the long and high jump events in addition to his running – also sounds quite remarkable.
While our site exists to celebrate great people with funny names like Kind Butler III, we are aware that schoolyard kids can be cruel, and that a funny name can cause a person to develop a special set of skills at a very early age. It’s the whole reason the Kermit Can Kill Conjecture exists – much like A Boy Named Sue, having a name like Kermit can make a man learn how to be tough in his youth. But remember that adrenaline’s response is fight or flight, so perhaps Mr. Butler’s exceptional speed and athleticism stem from this special brand of nominative determinism.
In any case, we’re fans, and we’re glad to commemorate Kind Butler, III as our first official reader submission post. Here’s wishing Kind Butler, III a very bright future – including mentions in our record-breaking 2016 Olympic coverage – and the type of success that can allow him to hire a (hopefully kind) butler of his own some day.