Ladies and gentlemen, Dave here, welcoming you to another edition of Funny Names in the News! Only two away from the big five-oh!
Youtube tells me that Zerrion Payton, nephew of Basketball Hall of Famer and Dave’s childhood hero Gary Payton, is now doing interviews. Woot woot!
Fellow WordPress blogger Leslie Loudspeaker brings us news that a Virginia Tech mascot-turned-homecoming-queen-candidate asked for the musician Nirvana to appear in a special video montage during homecoming week, saying “we’d love to have her in our video”! So what did Sub Pop Records do? Well, they found a woman to pose as “Nirvana” and wish them luck, saying “Let’s go Hoagies!” Funny-named Mark Arm from Mudhoney also appears in the video. Yippee skippy for record labels with a sense of humo(u)r!
Soon-to-be BoFN contributor (and therefore FNITN correspondent) wdydfae introduces us to the Carlos Danger Name Generator, so everyone can get a name like Anthony Weiner‘s alleged sexting Twitter handle. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. I’m still mad at diddy for getting the name Silvestre Bad*ass while I only got Antonio Hazard and Dario Smash. You can’t win ’em all, I suppose, unless you’re wdydfae!
Finally, we have two Kingdom Animalia updates from our favorite Animal Husbandry Correspondent, the effervescent and irreplaceable Amb! First, she told me that she’d “like a pet for [her] birthday next year, please” and pointed me to this post about Ippo the Zonkey, which came into existence after a zebra climbed over a protective fence and smanged an endangered donkey, giving rise to a Zebroid, which is any zebra-equine blend, and includes such notable members as the Zorse (a zebra/horse).
I don’t have any good underworld connections in the zebroid sector, so I’m lucky to have caught a huge break when I found out that not only was amb immaculately conceived, but she is also an ageless wonder who hasn’t aged a day since turning 21, so birthdays are simply a figment of her imagination. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!
Amb’s other update concerns another crossbreed, a dogg-lion, also known as a dyin’. While reading the blog of BoFN favorite George Stroumboulopoulos (for reasons that clearly had to do with its hard-hitting investigative journalism and not Strombo’s dreamy eyes, or voice, or hair, or … sorry, let me gather myself here…) she realized that Snoop Dogg has changed his name to Snoop Lion. Except she phrased it as a question, followed by “Is this a thing????”
So that’s it for another star-studded edition of FNITN
Tune in next week for another exciting edition of Funny Names in the News! Enjoy your weekends, everybody!