Funny Names in the News 47, Featuring Neato things!

Ladies and gentlemen, Dave here, welcoming you to another edition of Funny Names in the News! Only two away from the big five-oh!


I owe a lot to this guy, including my lockdown defense and trademark snarl. (Citation needed)

I owe a lot to this guy, including my lockdown defense and trademark snarl. (Citation needed)

Youtube tells me that Zerrion Payton, nephew of Basketball Hall of Famer and Dave’s childhood hero Gary Payton, is now doing interviews. Woot woot!

Fellow WordPress blogger Leslie Loudspeaker brings us news that a Virginia Tech mascot-turned-homecoming-queen-candidate asked for the musician Nirvana to appear in a special video montage during homecoming week, saying “we’d love to have her in our video”! So what did Sub Pop Records do? Well, they found a woman to pose as “Nirvana” and wish them luck, saying “Let’s go Hoagies!” Funny-named Mark Arm from Mudhoney also appears in the video. Yippee skippy for record labels with a sense of humo(u)r!

Soon-to-be BoFN contributor (and therefore FNITN correspondent) wdydfae introduces us to the Carlos Danger Name Generator, so everyone can get a name like Anthony Weiner‘s alleged sexting Twitter handle. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. I’m still mad at diddy for getting the name Silvestre Bad*ass while I only got Antonio Hazard and Dario Smash. You can’t win ’em all, I suppose, unless you’re wdydfae!

"Would an Ippo the Zonkey by any other name be so friggin' adorable?!?" - Bill Fakespeare

“Would an Ippo the Zonkey by any other name be so friggin’ adorable?!?” – Bill Fakespeare

Finally, we have two Kingdom Animalia updates from our favorite Animal Husbandry Correspondent, the effervescent and irreplaceable Amb! First, she told me that she’d “like a pet for [her] birthday next year, please” and pointed me to this post about Ippo the Zonkey, which came into existence after a zebra climbed over a protective fence and smanged an endangered donkey, giving rise to a Zebroid, which is any zebra-equine blend, and includes such notable members as the Zorse (a zebra/horse).

I don’t have any good underworld connections in the zebroid sector, so I’m lucky to have caught a huge break when I found out that not only was amb immaculately conceived, but she is also an ageless wonder who hasn’t aged a day since turning 21, so birthdays are simply a figment of her imagination. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!

Amb’s other update concerns another crossbreed, a dogg-lion, also known as a dyin’. While reading the blog of BoFN favorite George Stroumboulopoulos (for reasons that clearly had to do with its hard-hitting investigative journalism and not Strombo’s dreamy eyes, or voice, or hair, or … sorry, let me gather myself here…) she realized that Snoop Dogg has changed his name to Snoop Lion. Except she phrased it as a question, followed by “Is this a thing????”

Yes, darling, it is!

Yes, darling, it is!

So that’s it for another star-studded edition of FNITN

Tune in next week for another exciting edition of Funny Names in the News! Enjoy your weekends, everybody!

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names.
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10 Responses to Funny Names in the News 47, Featuring Neato things!

  1. wdydfae says:

    Thanks for the shout out! I must confess, I’m still beaming with pride over getting Sylvester Bad*ss, which has to be the bad *ssingly bad-*ssed bad *sser of a name ever generated by any bad-*ssed name generator ever!

    Another great FNITN.

  2. Dave–congratulations on your new venture. Looks pretty impressive.

    Good to know you’re a Gary Payton Fan. He had a great career here in Seattle.

    I must admit, the “snoop-lyon” thing gave me the hebby-jebbies.

    • Dave says:

      Thanks! He had an amazing career in Seattle! I am a huge fan of The Glove. Almost embarrassingly so.

      And thanks for the kind words about the new venture. It’s hard to get these things off the ground, but I think it’s a good project and has significant potential to make a big difference! If you know anyone who might be interested in MCAT prep material, or simply wants to help a company with a good cause (and get some cool perks in return), please share the link! I’m trying to get some early traction so that the campaign starts moving up the lists on IndieGoGo.

  3. Liz says:

    Congrats, Dave 🙂 Big times for you!

  4. amb says:

    Dave !!!

    Listen, light of my life, just because you don’t have any connections in the zebroid underworld doesn’t mean I’m not expecting to be showered with love and affection on my birthday. But we can talk about that later.

    This post cracked me the heck up. Also, I’m all kinds of proud of you. xo.

    • Dave says:

      Yay! I will certainly shower you with love and affection on your birthday, although I don’t know if I can provide a zonkey. Even I have my limits 🙂

  5. wdydfae says:

    I checked out the video. In all seriousness, that’s very impressive work, Dave! I’m a huge fan of Khan Academy and this is in the same spirit, although it’s a little more “meta” level because it’s about integrating everything. I wonder how many other fields this approach would apply to?

    Amazing stuff.

    You and amb are incredibly public spirited individuals and make a great match.

    • Dave says:

      Thanks Diddy,

      I’m trying to keep my expectations in line so I won’t start going crazy thinking of too many possibilities, but I think it could apply to a lot of fields. Just trying to launch this one right now though. One foot in front of the other.

      I’m a huge fan of Khan Academy too. Salman Khan (hey, funny name!) is a hero of mine for sure.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

  6. Pingback: Detlef Schrempf | The Blog of Funny Names

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