Pickles Dillhoefer, or what happens when Dave channels Rob and then goes crazy!!!

Mmmm.... Pickles!

Mmmm…. Pickles!

Sometimes when you’ve been blogging about funny names as long as I have, you’ll wake up with a funny name on the tip of your tongue. That’s what happened to me. I kept thinking “Pickles Dillhoefer… Pickles Dillhoefer… Pickles Dillhoefer”. Oh, don’t you envy being inside my mind?!

But I couldn’t quite place it, so… I went on the computer* and found out that Pickles DillhoeferΒ was a baseball catcher a hundred years ago and decided that he needed to be the subject of today’s post.

*I’ll never be able to use that phrase ever again without thinking of Vin Scully’s famous musing on Troy Tulowitzki’s mullet. See the bottom of this post for more details.

His real name was William Martin Dillhoefer, and his teammates quickly realized that was a stupid name and he needed to be called Pickles. Because Pickles is not a stupid name. It’s a tremendous one. Outstanding!

So here’s the part where I channel Rob and describe baseball in a distinctly basebally way (or at least do my best… I’d say I’m the third-most-qualified baseball writer on here, maybe even fourth behind Amb if you count trying really hard and putting pictures of actors in jockstraps into your posts as part of the criteria).

The young backstop served in five major league campaigns sharing duties in calling the shots for big league hurlers as a member of the Cubs, Phillies and Cardinals’ organizations, hitting at a .223 clip, including a career-best .263 in his penultimate season in the league. Although he never recorded a tater as a big leaguer, he did manage to log ten three-baggers during his career.

You know what? That’s exhausting! I have a lot of respect for what Rob and Mark have to go through… let me just steal a phrase from some crumpled up piece of paper I found online.

He divides with Clemons in backstopping for the Mound City aggregation. Is a clever general and fair batter.

Ahh, much better!

There’s something awesome and charming about baseball being the only American sport being chronicled during the days when people actually wrote like that. I can see why it has its fans.

Anyway, Pickles Dillhoefer died in 1922, aged 28, and didn’t have the chance to really establish himself as one of the game’s premier players. The worst part: Pickles had only gotten married six weeks prior 😦 Poor guy (and gal!) But he was missed.

For the rest of the post, in honor of a great man, I have assembled a virtual museum of pickle imagery. I hope you enjoy! Happy Monday!

Terrified pickles!

Terrified pickles!

A singular terrified pickle, or perhaps he's just inquisitive??? I hate to admit it, but one of my biggest weaknesses is that I have a hard time reading pickle facial expressions.

A singular terrified pickle, or perhaps he’s just inquisitive? or excited??? I hate to admit it, but one of my biggest weaknesses is that I have a hard time reading pickle facial expressions.

Does this caption and company name make me look fat?

Does this caption and company name make me look fat?

Pickles the dog. Looking amused!

Pickles the dog. Looking amused!

A biologically reasonable explanation. (Thanks, MakeMeSTFU.tumblr.com!)

A biologically reasonable explanation. (Thanks, MakeMeSTFU.tumblr.com!)

If only I'd posted this during the competition I had with Amb...

If only I’d posted this during the competition I had with Amb…

Pickles in a tube... it's an actual thing!

Pickles in a tube… it’s an actual thing!

When follower pickles are just not enough! Can you guys imagine a pickles-themed lemmings-style game? It just seems made for the internets!

When follower pickles are just not enough! Can you guys imagine a pickles-themed lemmings-style game? It just seems made for the internets!

Pickle dance!

Pickle dance!

Happy Monday!

P.S. Liz, are you proud of me for such a good food-themed post? I just wanna make you proud!

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About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Pickles Dillhoefer, or what happens when Dave channels Rob and then goes crazy!!!

  1. wdydfae says:

    I didn’t understand a lot of that. But that doesn’t stop me from pasting in the obligatory Arlo Guthrie clip.

    • Dave says:

      At first, I was like… “why an Arlo Guthrie song?” but then the first line explained why. Quite the labored rhymes there πŸ™‚

    • Liz says:

      awesome, diddy–the significance of the pickle? Thinking I have the title for my book! (the one for which you’re writing the review quotes–you haven’t forgotten, have you?) Arlo plays his crowd well.

      Just in case you’re not reading each and every comment here, I responded to your Alice’s reference below.

  2. amb says:

    Oh, honey. If you had posted that t-shirt during our competition, the resulting chain of events would have made your head explode. xo.

    • Dave says:

      Mmm… sounds like another challenge. ***Tries desperately not to get pugnacious again***

      • amb says:

        Stop it. Now you’re just trying to distract me. You know I love your huge … vocabulary.

        (Too much? I need to remember that your mom reads this blog from time to time …)

        • Dave says:

          Don’t worry about it… if she does, it’s only once in a blue moon, and she was also a child of the 60’s (and a Canadian one at that), so nothing fazes her.

  3. Bumba says:

    Got a nickel? Go buy a pickle!

  4. I can feel wdydfae’s influence on this post. I’m so glad I didn’t snort any hot morning beverages out my nose.

    Good one, Dave.

  5. Liz says:

    OK then. First, yes, I am so proud of you Dave. Who knew there were so many different pickle images? The pickle dance is a personal fave. (though Prancercise still takes the cake) Second, Alice’s Restaurant? Will put it on my to-google list, but diddy–are you really trying to give me more to do? After all of the frenzy I’m living through? I’m almost ready to whine about this. (yes, that’s right, I might just WHINE)

    Am thinking about wine now, so if you’ll excuse me…

    ‘K, now that I have a lovely glass of wine, can continue.

    Love how you threw this one out there, Dave. That’s a great nickname, but am sorry he died at such a young age and so soon after being married. Glad you were able to bring him back here.

    But here’s the thing: BoFN is starting to mess with my head. Exhibit 1) Rob wrote a post last Wed about a baseball player. Or was it about sex? I wasn’t really sure. Which brings me to today’s post for Exhibit 2) Is this a post about another baseball player or is it about a preserved cucumber product? My head spins. It all seems very corybantic, which of course brings amb into the picture. (and did I see mention of your mother?) Madness it is–all of it.

    Great party here, always πŸ™‚

    • amb says:

      You think it’s madness now … wait until tomorrow, my friend. πŸ˜‰

    • wdydfae says:

      We’d love to hear you whine, Liz. The sheer unexpected novelty of it would overwhelm us all.

      Don’t bother hunting down Alice’s Restaurant. I just brought it up as a joke because food is involved, and, well, you know . . . Liz and food. Alice’s restaurant is like most of the rest of Arlo Guthrie’s music. It doesn’t hold up that well. The movie is a stupid hippie movie that might be fascinating for historical value, kind of Herbie the Love Bug meets Easy Rider.

    • Dave says:

      I don’t know. I think we’re all just busy trying to keep up with each other, which takes it in very interesting directions!

  6. Pingback: Robin Sparkles, as played by Cobie Smulders | The Blog of Funny Names

  7. Rob says:

    Great post and awesome photos! I wonder if the reason they call run-downs “pickles” has something to do with ‘dis fella. I wouldn’t be surprised!

    • Dave says:

      That’d be pretty amazing! The thought didn’t even cross my mind. Do you think I did a decent job sounding like an old-timey basebally guy? I tried super hard!

  8. Pingback: Grand Finale: One and Only Poll, Dave’s Greatest Sports Names | The Blog of Funny Names

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