Good morning, routine deprived readers of mine! Welcome to another always surprising funny names post from Amber.
No, I’m not technically supposed to be here today – what else is new?!? Liz and I have traded days this week for a couple of reasons. One, because let’s face it, I’d eat anchovy paste if Liz asked me to, and two, because I’m trying to do what I can to throw Rob off his game and gain the home field advantage for an inning or two.
The current score in the Carlson/Lavitt match up. Pretty sure I get extra points for Robin’s outstanding hair.
The taller (so I’ve been told) of the two Carlson bloggers recently got some time off, and he decided to celebrate his hard earned freedom by spending the time making fun of “America’s Hat” (as he likes to call my homeland of Canada) and of yours truly.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m confident that all of this teasing comes from a place of deep love and of appreciation for having me as an Imaginary (Almost) Sister-in-Law … but there are only so many Justin Bieber jokes a girl can take before she has to start making retaliatory plans of her own.
Since this is me we’re dealing with, these plans naturally involve publicly discussing a passionate, all consuming (and completely fictional) love affair between Rob and a particular Canadian pop star. Allow me to introduce you to the MVP of Rob’s heart: 1980s mall touring teen sensation Ms. Robin Sparkles.
You two are going to be so happy together!
In the CBS television sitcom world of “How I Met Your Mother”, Robin Sparkles is the alter ego of Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr (played brilliantly by Canadian actress Jacoba Francisca Maria “Cobie” Smulders).
I’m pleased to report that Robin has her very own Wikipedia page, where I was able to uncover the following fascinating biography:
Robin Sparkles is best known for her hit single “Let’s Go to the Mall” and the artistically renowned follow-up, “Sandcastles in the Sand”. She also appeared on the Canadian educational children’s show “Space Teens” with legendary entertainer Alan Thicke. The show featured two teen girls traveling through space in a spaceship shaped like a curling stone, where they solved mysteries using math and memorable songs like “Two Beavers Are Better Than One”.
I’m told this performance was what sealed the deal for Carlson, as he was instantly smitten with Robin’s obvious appreciation for Canada’s national animal.
This is educational programming at its finest, folks.
The wedding is scheduled for July 1st, 2014, and the happy couple is registered at Canadian Tire. Robin is said to be reworking “Let’s Go to the Mall” as “Let’s Go to the Ball (Game)” as a gift for Rob. Personally, I don’t see how she’ll be able to improve on the original:
Well. I think my work here is done, don’t you?
For the record, I’d just like to say that I’m a good Canadian girl (except when I’m talking to Dave) and this whole thing only got started because I was trying to defend myself. I swear I’m not responsible for whatever happens next. That being said … Rob, honey, it’s your turn up to bat.
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Holy mixed sports metaphors Batman! Home field advantage for an inning or two seems like a very time consuming delay of game.
That said, I think Rob’s got his work cut out for him! I know all too well the power of our favorite pocket-sized Canadian blogger. The funny thing is that the taller of us* was actually BORN in Canada – Kelowna, BC to be exact. So he’s stuck running for Prime Minister when I become president (of the United States in addition to your heart 😉 )!
Does that mean I preside over your heart? Sounds kind of awesome!
*He’s at least 6’3″ but doesn’t always stand completely straight because… you know, ceiling fixtures and doorways and stuff, and I’m exactly 6’0″ – which makes it sounds like I’m lying but I’m actually exactly that height.
Hey, there’s a reason why I’m ranked as the fourth most qualified baseball writer around here (third if I get points for enthusiasm). You should just be happy that I called it a field and not an ice rink!
I knew that, actually, and tried to use it to my advantage – to no avail. Rob was convinced that I married Bieber over the weekend. So naturally, the only thing left for me to do was have him and Sparkles tie the knot.
Yes, of course it does! Like you even have to ask?! *sigh* Clearly, I’m being too coy with you again. I need to work on that, I know.
Coincidentally, 6’0″ is exactly the perfect height to reach things on the top shelves in the pocket-sized place. And it’s perfect for other things, too. xo.
I can’t understand y’all’s posts any more. It’s not just the baseball refs. Who’s getting married?
But while I am no longer able to assess content, I gotta give two thumbs up on style.
Still, not knowing what’s going on problematizes my blurb schtick.
“. . . magical and mystifying . . .”
“. . . an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in wonderfully wholloping good post!”
“. . . as brilliant as it is befuddling . . .”
“. . . this latest breathtaking battle in the ongoing feud with the Carlson brothers will have you on the edge of your seat, mostly trying to figure out what they’re fighting about . . . Not to be missed!”
Rob and Robin Sparkles are getting married, of course! What? Isn’t it perfectly normal for someone to marry a made-up pop star who’s the alter ego of a fictional character from a television sitcom?! 😉
Thanks as always for the amblurb, you know I love those !!!
“. . . clever and counterfactual . . .”
“. . . delightfully discombobulating . . .”
“. . . endearingly enigmatic . . .”
“. . . freshly and fearlessly befuddling . . .”
(I’m just going through the alphabet.)
I love it !!!
seconding diddy here as also reflected in my comment yesterday: You folks are messing with my head! What is this blog about? Funny names, yes, but plenty more–sex, pickles, murder (Dave’s story yesterday), and now fictional pending engagements (diddy–“Robin” a.k.a. “Cobie” is “marrying” Rob. Does that help? 😉 ).
But good work on the blurbs–you are a true professional.
Am glad I’m on tomorrow to return sanity to this craziness. (but thanks again for covering for me amb!)
Anytime! Thanks for translating my crazy amb-speak for Diddy! You’re the voice of reason around here as always, Liz 😀
How did I miss the sex and murder?!?
Dang, I’m always last in line.
OH MY,,,I just love a wedding!!! Especially one from my own wonderful land eh!
Now, I get to spend my tons of Canadian Tire Money wooohoooo,,,good days!!
Tell me,,pppllllleeasse tell me that they are gonna have one of those bad ass tim bit wedding cakes and a flowing fountain of Molson Canadian!
K,,,,gotta go and check my mailbox for my invite!
Yes, of course you’re invited!! And yes to the Timbit wedding cake too, that is a FANTASTIC idea. You’re a genius, my friend. And we should probably serve poutine too eh 😉
Absolutely,,,and can’t forget them good ‘ol Beaver Tails,,,,nothing like a good tail with some dipping sauce and powdered sugar!
Oh, good call! Yes, Beaver Tails too for sure.
Man, now I’m hungry …
Can you actually eat beaver tales? never mind–not important. What I wanted to say was:
awwww, amb. That “anchovy paste” comment is the sweetest thing anyone has every said to me 🙂 Am touched. But would not ask you to eat it, unless it was a part of something really tasty.
And again, thanks for helping me out with the trade. Looks like it worked out pretty well. But poor Rob! I guess if he’s been slinging Bieber jokes your way, he has it coming, but I missed that part so am coming in on the end of things. At 6′ 3″ (and also having Canadian blood by virtue of birthplace), I’m sure he can defend himself very well. Though he might do best just to throw up his hands and concede victory to you. (couldn’t make sense of the scoreboard–who is winning?)
Had no idea Cobie was a nickname for a much longer and more wonderful properly funny name. That’s awesome! Would love to know more about her, so thinking you should write a follow-up post. (could google it myself, but it’s much more fun to read your take on it. and diddy should write review quotes)
You got talent, amb. Nice job throwing this together and in record time 🙂
Teehee! You sure can! Check it out: http://www.beavertailsinc.com/
Am glad you liked the anchovy paste comment – I meant it, too! 🙂
It was my pleasure. And you’re not missing anything – the Bieber jokes and other mocking happened over facebook. I sent him a note saying (nicely!) how much I liked his last post, and things kind of spiraled out of control from there. But it wasn’t me !! He started it !!! (ha – do you feel like you’re refereeing a match between C. and A right now?)
I’m sure he can defend himself very well. I’m a little nervous for next week, truth be told.
That’s an awesome idea – Cobie definitely deserves her own post. She’s married to a funny named actor, too! 😀
they did not really call it “two beavers are better than one” and then have two young girls play those parts… good god…
Oh, they really did. Plus, to add a whole other level of innuendo, the second girl is played by Nicole Whatsherface from the Pussy Cat Dolls!
Anchovy paste?? Ewww…
Congratulations to Rob and Robin! Wait, Rob and Robin? This really is the blog of funny names. You even have funny name combinations!
Great post, Amb. Hilarious!
I know right?! Such is the depth of my love and appreciation for Liz …
EJ! You are such a sweetheart. Thanks for making the trip out to visit at my online home away from home (and for thinking my craziness is actually funny – so smooth). You know I’d miss you terribly if I didn’t get to see you!
PS does “How I Met Your Mother” air in Australia?
Oh, Amb, I’d follow you anywhere. 😉 As if I’d miss any of your posts, at your blog home or otherwise. And you know I love craziness. Especially yours!
“HIMYM” certainly does air here. And I love it!
*swoon* Of course you do! I should have known you would !!! One more thing to add to your ever-growing tab of awesomeness, Maverick 😉
EJ is turning up at BoFN? Things are getting really good now… 😉
p.s. Hi, EJ! I am one of amb’s BBFF (blogBFF) and would expect to be at least a bridesmaid if not the Matron of Honor at the wedding. Just sayin’ haha. For real, though, nice to meet you 🙂
Hey, you heard the man – he’d follow me anywhere! (He’s good eh?)
Technically, BoFN is where EJ and I “met”. I dazzled him with … Ron Offerman’s mustache.
And I happen to know he’s 6’4″. Just saying 😉
Hehe, yeah good point. We’re definitely on the same wavelength here. Just put it on my tab! 😉
I’m so happy you’re here keeping me company, but … how are you still awake?!? What is it, 4am local time?!?
Hi Liz! A pleasure to meet you. Being amb’s BBFF, I better go check out your blog! See you round for sure!
Hey amb! As a friend of mine says… I’m a vampire. I don’t sleep. Besides, your company is far better than sleep! 😉
Oh, my. Well played ❤
I love the fact that we have it all here at the BoFN. It’s like one stop shopping during a coffee break!
Can you imagine?! When the boys started this blog they thought it was just going to be about funny names. Isn’t that adorable?!? 😉
Looking back, I’m not sure exactly when things started going nuts here. Even Dave has gone off the deep end in a few of his FNitN posts.
I know, right?! I can’t figure it out either … it’s not like I came along and started stirring things up around here …
You guys can blame it on me if you want. I’m OK with that.
as easy as it would be to use you as scapegoat, diddy, I’m going with the more likely scenario of weird synergetic chemistry among the players. Word freaks, all of us. Though note that I take no part in any of the flirtations going on around here nor any of the sex and murder talk. I keep it clean for goodness sakes.
Hahaha, this is the silliest post in the history of this Blog, I think! Even if the mall is kind of fun and sandcastles are quite beautifully sandy. I do like the idea of being registered at Canadian Tire (even if they don’t sell baseball tickets, which is what I want all my wedding gifts to be – somehow I don’t think that will go over well – “darling, want to go on a honeymoon to…Petco Park?”
I do like the fishnet stockings in the photo, but her hair is an odd combination of long yet bouffant, which I find kind of peculiar.
See what was missing in your life before you brought me on board to BoFN? 😉
Duly noted about the baseball tickets. I’ll see what I can do. You’ll likely end up with a bunch of company Jays tickets – you’ve been warned!
“An odd combination of long yet bouffant” can pretty much sum up that entire decade.
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