Hello Funny Names Fans and welcome back to our regularly scheduled Friday programming. We were on break last week as I was on a tropical vacation in Finland, trying to stay away from the internets, but worry not – I am plugged in again and ready to report to you the most urgent news involving people, things, sports teams, and zonkeys with funny names this week.
Ha-Sean “Ha Ha” Clinton-Dix. Did you just say his name is funny because I sure didn’t. No siree.
First, over to our sports correspondent Mark Sackler with news from baseball. Mark writes : “The seventh annual Minor League Baseball Moniker Madness heads into its final week, as fans again vote for the best name in all of minor league baseball. For the past few days a see-saw battle has been waged for the top spot between the awesomely named Sicnarf Loopstok and the somewhat less awesomely-named Stryker Trahan. We’ll offer readers a chance to vote for their favorites among the leaders early next week, but in the meantime you can vote and see the current leader board here.”
Continuing with Mr. Sackler and moving on to football : “It’s not too early to start looking for candidates for funny names in next year’s NFL draft. The SEC today named its coaches preseason all-conference team and while the big sports news was Johnny “Football” Manziel being relegated to the second team, there was even bigger funny name news. The entire list is chock full of future funniest name candidates, headed by first-team defensive picks Jadeveon Clowny and Ha’Sean “Ha Ha” Clinton-Dix. “
This is the HyperLoop, also known as the “Hyper Alfred Hitchcock Sex Reference”
Elsewhere in the news, previously profiled entrepreneur Elon Musk continues to make new waves with his latest invention, they ultra-hyped (hyper-hyped?) HyperLoop. What the heck is it? Well, the L.A Times tells us that the HyperLoop is “a solar-powered, 700-mph tubular transportation system”. That certainly sounds tubular, so our good wishes to Mr. Musk.
Meanwhile, our Russian Women Correspondent Dave has been busy watching the Athletics World Championships out of Russia and noted the much-ballyhooed kiss on the podium shared by gold medalists Kseniya Ryzhova and Tatyana Firov. You would Dave, you would.
More cool news from a website not too far from here, as well named sprinter Kind Butler III came across our recent article on himself and drafted a wonderful comment below the line. Nice!
Finally, a sombre note from Amb, who notes that famed novelist Elmore “Dutch” Leonard passed away at age 87 from complications due to a stroke. “Love his style – if I wasn’t so bummed I’d come up with a really smooth Clooney/Carlson Lopez/Lavitt “Out of Sight” line”, she says, and it’s hard to disagree. Leonard also had a fondness for catchy, cool titles for his works such as 52 Pick-Up, Get Shorty, Killshot, and of course, Naked Came the Manatee. He will be missed.
oh, i would certainly never laugh at ha ha
I wonder if he ever hears people laughing and turns his head because he thinks they’re calling his name?
I think it’s a good idea just considering personal safety and all.
Is it bad that I read “sombre” as rhyming with hombre?
nope. And to make you feel better, this is where my mind went after reading your comment: What if the wide-brimmed Mexican hat worn my men was called a hombrero?
Haha, that’s so awesome! Makes a lot of sense, actually. If I were a Spanish-language blogger, I’d totally make a pun about that.
That’s kind of how I prefer to read it.
Welcome back, Arto! Fun and sun in Finland? Great news, all and especially love the hyperloop image. hee hee. Skimmed the linked article (will go back for more later as it’s cracking me up) and my favorite part so far is that it’s “not clear there’s a pressing need for his system.” I want to see a day in the life of Elon Musk–what a different sort he must be. Maybe amb could call in her connections (Joss Whedon, maybe?) and get a movie made. I hear she may have an in with Nathan Fillion–he could play Musk. So look what you’ve inspired here, Arto–next summer’s big blockbuster.
Thanks for the read!
The hyperloop image caption cracked me up too (but of course). Oh Arto, I missed you!
Liz: Deb is onsite as we speak, and may possibly be breathing the same air as Nathan at this very moment! Will keep you posted 🙂
Only one thing on my mind when I saw that image. I don’t know what Mr. Musk is smoking, but it’s clearly scented with success. Good to be back Amb!
Heyy Liz, thanks! Glad to be back! Mr. Musk is certainly putting in the hours for “most interesting man in the world” honors these days – I’m sure a movie will be coming soon. The title? I think “MUSK” is pretty good. The Musketeer? HyperMan?
Hyperman definitely. I like MUSK, too, as it makes a statement. Then there’s The Muskinator. I can’t even imagine his world.
Arto, did you know that there are areas in northern Michigan where their ancestry is predominantly FINNISH?!? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a7/Census-2000-Data-Top-US-Ancestries-by-County.svg
Census data?! This is how you spend a Friday morning in sunny San Diego?!? Babe, you need to get out more.
Haha, it’s a tad more complicated 🙂
Someone posted a stat about Asian-American doctors being underrepresented at 8.9%, but I went to show that they only make up 4.8% of the population, and then the word Finnish caught my eye, as it often does 🙂
That makes more sense. Shame on me for not realizing sooner that there would be some complex logic and science-y equations at play here. This is you we’re talking about, after all. I’m slipping!
Sure, the Midwest is littered with these mild-mannered Lutherans. They left the cold dark fields of Finland at some point for a better (perhaps warmer) life and for some reason unknown to me decided to settle in those exact areas of the New World that have precisely the same weather.
Perhaps it’s because they wanted to enjoy a good sauna…
Many a mild-mannered Lutheran here in Minnesooda (did I say it right? really want to get the Fargo accent right here). Funny that.
Sicnarf gets my vote for the funniest name listed today.
Nice post! I’m a bit of a fan of the hyperloop idea. It would be cool to think that we could move beyond planes, trains and automobiles to get around. The concept has a lot of promise. It doesn’t help that I loathe planes and airports and flying, and wouldn’t shed a tear to see them made obsolete.
I’m guessing it would take so long–10 to 20 years or more–to solve all the land use right of way and environmental issues, that, if they try to build it in California on the LA to SF route, the technology will be obsolete by the time they break ground.
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