Hello Funny Names Fans and welcome back to our regularly scheduled Friday programming. We were on break last week as I was on a tropical vacation in Finland, trying to stay away from the internets, but worry not – I am plugged in again and ready to report to you the most urgent news involving people, things, sports teams, and zonkeys with funny names this week.
First, over to our sports correspondent Mark Sackler with news from baseball. Mark writes : “The seventh annual Minor League Baseball Moniker Madness heads into its final week, as fans again vote for the best name in all of minor league baseball. For the past few days a see-saw battle has been waged for the top spot between the awesomely named Sicnarf Loopstok and the somewhat less awesomely-named Stryker Trahan. We’ll offer readers a chance to vote for their favorites among the leaders early next week, but in the meantime you can vote and see the current leader board here.”
Continuing with Mr. Sackler and moving on to football : “It’s not too early to start looking for candidates for funny names in next year’s NFL draft. The SEC today named its coaches preseason all-conference team and while the big sports news was Johnny “Football” Manziel being relegated to the second team, there was even bigger funny name news. The entire list is chock full of future funniest name candidates, headed by first-team defensive picks Jadeveon Clowny and Ha’Sean “Ha Ha” Clinton-Dix. “
Elsewhere in the news, previously profiled entrepreneur Elon Musk continues to make new waves with his latest invention, they ultra-hyped (hyper-hyped?) HyperLoop. What the heck is it? Well, the L.A Times tells us that the HyperLoop is “a solar-powered, 700-mph tubular transportation system”. That certainly sounds tubular, so our good wishes to Mr. Musk.
Meanwhile, our Russian Women Correspondent Dave has been busy watching the Athletics World Championships out of Russia and noted the much-ballyhooed kiss on the podium shared by gold medalists Kseniya Ryzhova and Tatyana Firov. You would Dave, you would.
More cool news from a website not too far from here, as well named sprinter Kind Butler III came across our recent article on himself and drafted a wonderful comment below the line. Nice!
Finally, a sombre note from Amb, who notes that famed novelist Elmore “Dutch” Leonard passed away at age 87 from complications due to a stroke. “Love his style – if I wasn’t so bummed I’d come up with a really smooth Clooney/Carlson Lopez/Lavitt “Out of Sight” line”, she says, and it’s hard to disagree. Leonard also had a fondness for catchy, cool titles for his works such as 52 Pick-Up, Get Shorty, Killshot, and of course, Naked Came the Manatee. He will be missed.