“Who’s on first.”–Bud Abbott
“Opera in English makes about as much sense as baseball in Italian”–H.L. Mencken
A common ongoing discussion, in baseball, involves the comparison of the players of one era with those of another. Who was better? Is there really a difference? Can you make a comparison based on statistics alone? Here at The Blog of Funny Names, we have a two word answer for these questions.
Who cares?
What matters here is, who has the edge in funny names? This is not so easily answered. We’ve profiled many of the great baseball funny names from the past and a few from the present, but nowhere can you find more funny baseball names in one place than the annul Minor League Baseball Moniker Madness, now coming into its final days on the MiLB.com web site. A selection of 75 wild and crazy names are up for this year’s award and you can vote and see the leader board here. We won’t attempt to answer the question as to which era of baseball has better names, at least not now. But we will poll you, our readers, as to whom you think should emerge victorious in Moniker Madness.
Alpha-Bits. How Sicnarf Loopstok was named?
Below is a brief bit on each of the top six in the rankings, as of 6 PM EDT Monday, August 26. It is followed by a poll for you to pick which of the six you like best. We’ll endeavor to provide both results in FNITN on Friday and see how our readers opinions stack up vs. the fans on MiLB.com. A favorite game of mine is to speculate who I think these names would be, if I didn’t know they were baseball players.
Sicnarf Loopstok. That’s a pretty serious expression for a guy whose name looks like an explosion in an Alpha-Bits factory.
Current Standings as of 6 PM EDT, Monday, August 26:
1. Sicnarf Loopstok. Who he is: a first-year pro, second-string catcher hitting .180 in short season A ball. It might be a short career, so he needs to win this one now. Who I think the name would be: Prime minister of Bosnia and Herzegovina (as it turns out, he is from Aruba, so maybe the governor of Aruba).
2. Stryker Trahan. Who he is: a second-year pitcher in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization. Who I think the name would be: A guy who got kicked off the Australian national rugby team for assaulting an official.
3. Giuseppe Pappacio Who he is: Rookie shortstop, 18th round pick by the Cubs in this year’s amateur draft. He was promoted to A ball from Rookie League after just 9 games. Who I think the name would be: A second-string tenor for the Metropolitan Opera. (See H.L. Mencken quote above)
4. Storm Throne: Who he is: the highest ranked pitcher in the current standings, he’s a second year player in the White Sox organization. Who I think the name would be: A female porn star.
5. Forrest Snow: Who he is: a 24-year-old pitcher in AAA ball in the Seattle Mariners organization. Might see him in the show, yet. Who I think the name would be: A character on Game of Thrones.
Jose Jose. Pick me! Pick me!
6. Jose Jose: Who he is: A 23-year-old pitcher in the Arizona Diamondbacks system–that makes two of the top six for the snakes, so they take the team honors hands down. Who I think the name would be: a character in comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live or other TV variety show. (Can’t you just hear Bill Dana saying, “My name, Jose Jose!?”)
So what do you think? Which one is your favorite? Vote here until noon Thursday, EST.
The Blog of Funny Names 
Reblogged this on The Millennium Conjectures™ and commented:
My monthly post on “The Blog of Funny Names” is an update on Moniker Madness with an opportunity to vote on the best name.
There’s just no way to beat Sicnarf. It’s like some sort of confused pig latin. Amazing.
I do enjoy Jose Jose. Repetitive names are great (see Boutros Boutros-Ghali).
Stryker and Storm sound like characters from some of those popular young adult movies with exciting fantastical adventures that are popular now. Stryker Trahan and the Mystery of the Swollen Armpit or something.
I agree. As much as I love Jose Jose, there’s no way Sicnarf can be beat. No way!
LOL
As of 6 PM this evening, Stryker has moved back into the lead with Sicnarf dropped to second (on the MiLB.com site…our voters know better than that). It has been a see-saw battle the last few days.
Crazy names and I’m especially loving the bowl of cereal 🙂 Thinking a bowl of Alpha Bits would be fun about now.
Mmmmmm…. tasty! I wonder if Alpha Bits have ever actually inspired a name??
P.S. Donuts for breakfast… woo!!!!!!!
(I’m feeling a bit corybantic right now 🙂 )
I’ll see your donuts and raise you Philly Chocolate Cream Cheese on toast. Has the benefit of appearing like a healthy breakfast while actually just giving me an excuse to eat chocolate before 9am and keeping me spun for the entire day. No wonder I laughed so much at Sicnarf!
Haha, that’s only part of the reason why you laughed so much at Sicnarf! This contest really makes me wish I were more of a baseball fan!
where did the donuts come in, Dave? aren’t you supposed to only eat healthy foods? (except on your birthday when you get a bourbon cake–now there’s a woo!!!!)
will leave the Alpha Bits research to you. I had forgotten all about that box of sweet and somewhat crunchy letters. Oh the childhood fun.
Just did some voting of my own over on Moniker Madness… how is Dimitri Papantonopoulous not in the top 6?!?!?
Why is that name so funny?
Well:
1. His first name is Dimitri
2. It contains the word “pant”, which is a fine word. My friends and I once did a vocal jam based purely on the word “pants”
3. It’s got that lovely, unnecessary letters Greek thing going on. That one needs to at least make it to the finals!
My favorite not in the top 6 is Rougned Odor. And Storm Throne is not the only name that sounds like a porn star. Jett Bandy and Xander Boegarts belong in that group, as well.
Sicnarf! Oh Guiseppi rolls off the tongue, and Jose Jose is a name we’ll never forget, but Sicnarf sits on the Throne, and that’s seeing the forest for the trees, no snow job.
😀
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