“They call it golf because all the other 4-letter words are taken.”–Raymond Floyd
Next to the ripsnorting humor of baseball and football names, I have to admit that Golf is a bit funny-name challenged. But all is not lost: seek and ye shall find. Here is a look at some of the funniest names, past and present, from the game Mark Twain called “a good walk spoiled.”
Keridatch Aphibarnrat is a rising 24-year old Thai player who qualified to play in his first two majors this year. He has also won on the European tour. According to Wikipedia he is also known as Anujit Hirunratanakorn. Huh? Don’t ask, I have no idea. I do know that regardless of what they call him here or in Thailand, any name with “barn rat” in it has to look funny to us. I must admit that, in my own professional field, I have seen some Asian names that translate a good deal more awkwardly in English than Aphibarnrat, but as this is a PG-rated blog I’ll leave it at that.
Thomas Brent “Boo” Weekly is an American PGA tour player from Florida. Boo is not a fortunate name for any professional athlete, though it turns out that this nickname comes from Yogi Bear’s cartoon sidekick, Boo Boo.
Retief Goosen is a two-time U.S. Open winner from South Africa. I think his name sounds more like a Danish liquor or a village in Wales.
Frank Urban “Fuzzy” Zoeller, Jr. is an American golfer who is almost as ancient as I am. He has won two majors and one senior major. If you follow sports at all, you’ve probably heard of him. What you probably didn’t know is that the nickname “Fuzzy” comes from his initials, FUZ.
Wilfred Hiram “Wiffy” Cox was an American golfer who won 9 PGA tournaments in the 1930’s and finished as high as 3rd in the U.S. Open. While we’re on the subject of unfortunate names for athletes, Wiffy has to be right up there. It would be bad enough to call a baseball or tennis player by that sobriquet, but good grief, a golf ball isn’t even moving when you try to hit it.
Briny Baird…Fred Funk…Duffy Waldorf…Heath Slocum….OK, they may not be Van Lingle Mungo or Barkevious Mingo but we golfers are a bit more reserved. We’ll take what we can get (and kick our ball out of the rough when you aren’t looking).
. Follow me at millennium.conjectures.com