Funny Names in The News 55, Now with Facial Hair and CumberCupcakes

The self-proclaimed Bull Moose never realized he actually resembled a walrus.

The self-proclaimed Bull Moose never realized he actually resembled a walrus.

Happppppy Friday everyone! Arto is leaving for Chicago today, and some recent late nights have driven my schedule all caddywhompus but it takes more than that to kill a bull moose!

“Wait, Arto‘s leaving for Chicago? But why?!?!,” you may find yourself asking. Well, for what other reason than to attend a National Safety Council trade show, with the hope of meeting someone from their awesomely-named board of directors, including Linda Burtwistle, Debora Biggs, Janet Froetscher and Moises Huntt. We wish Arto nothing but the best in this endeavor.

But enough about Arto. If you’re the kind of person who’s thinking “Golly gosh, I really enjoyed it last week when MO ROCCA RETWEETED LIZ, but I’m feeling a bit deprived of funny names in food this week!” fret no more, because we have quite the scrumptious little morsel to share with you! It seems that some enterprising soul has been busy preparing CumberCupcakes depicting a cartoon likeness of everyone’s favorite fluffy-named fellow, Benedict Cumberbatch attached to a fine sugary confection! If there’s a holy trinity of events on the Blog of Funny Names, this could be it. The CumberCupcakes combine Liz’s love of food with Amb’s love of swoony male leads, and then throw one of the most popular names in the history of BoFN on top for good measure.

Up next, our lovely Green with Envy Correspondent Amb makes an impassioned plea:

Can we talk about how much I love Lorde’s  new album? And how very jealous I am of her vocal cords? And hair?!?  amb xo.


The answer to that question is a resounding Sure!

Amb loves Lorde’s new album more than Diddy loves musicians who sing about squids (or at least one squid) eating dough out of a polyethylene bag, and even more than Liz loves bringing home the bacon, and is so very jealous of Lorde’s vocal cords… and hair! Though Amb and I often speak of our melding minds, I can’t expound on that any further for her. Perhaps she can fill in for you in the comments section.

Excuse me sir, but I mustache you a question about your splendid grooming habits.

Excuse me sir, but I mustache you a question about your splendid grooming habits.

Our next serving comes from Lieutenant Mustache Correspondent me (Arto is Chief Executive Mustache Correspondent), and its inclusion is based on you trusting me that mustache is a funny name for a facial accoutrement. Not convinced? Perhaps moustache might tickle your funny-name bone. Hmm, maybe I’ll just have to distract you, then…

Hey! Look! Beards and mustaches!

*Dusts off shoulders* That should get those hardened skeptics off my case, so I can move on to this week’s most heartwarming news (which is again about food). After their daughter’s wedding was called off, Carol and Willie Fowler did something totally awesome. They called Elizabeth Omilami of the Hosea Feed The Hungry organization to invite 200 local homeless folks to enjoy the catered wedding food. What an awesome idea!

And for our final course, our esteemed Where The Heck Does He Find This Stuff – He Doesn’t Even Follow Horse Racing correspondent Arto brings us this fantastic news, which I will paste verbatim because this sentence is pure perfection:

“Georgina Horsley-Gubbins emerged triumphant at the Land Rover Burghley Horse Trials when winning the White Company BSPS Gold Cup Sports Pony Final.”

And there you have it – my second-favorite Horse-themed name on this blog, and how perfect is that name for someone in her line of work?!

That’s it for Funny Names in the News 54. As the great Marie Antoinette said didn’t say:

“Let them eat (Cumbercup)cake(s)!”

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names.
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23 Responses to Funny Names in The News 55, Now with Facial Hair and CumberCupcakes

  1. Liz says:

    yeah, let ’em! rah rah rah. Will return to read this more closely, but want to say thanks for the multiple shout-outs. You’re just full of good cheer today, Dave! Hope your weekend is fantastic and if you talk to Arto, tell him to give me a ringy ding ding. Chicago is but a hop skip and jump away from my humble home in St. Paul.

    Also, in appreciation of all the food themes here at BoFN (really taking off here as you’re doing it, Rob’s doing it, …) I have brought a platter of my favorite cupcakes. Enjoy 🙂 Feel free to jump over to food for fun to grab your favorite cocktail. The whiskey sour from ’12 was quite good 🙂

    p.s. the facial hair? not attractive.

    • Dave says:

      Attractive is a relative term. I’m sure it’s great at attracting certain things, like flies, wayward spiders, and blog hits. *crosses fingers*

      • Liz says:

        My comment was given from the perspective of a female, so no, that facial hair is still not attractive. Though I applaud you for going to such lengths for hits 😉

        Sunday is our baseball game, Dave, so need to print out your cheat sheets!

  2. wdydfae says:

    That FNITN swept through like a tornado of manically inspired verbiage.

    Wait, I meant:

    “. . . Dave’s latest funny names recap sweeps through like a furious, manically inspired tornado, swirling improbable names around willy nilly in his gravity defying verbal vortex and depositing them with wild abandon in front lawns, driveways, and cul-de-sacs; the stunned residents emerge cautiously, ponder the bizarrely transformed landscape with unbelieving eyes, and wonder just what happened . . .”

    • Dave says:

      Haha, that’s kind of my thing. Usually by Thursday night I’ve worn myself down and still manage to stay up way too late before writing my FNITNs, so I get wacky. My favorite FNITNs are usually the crazy, overtired ones. It’s where I find my special place 🙂

      And as for the review, it’s stunningly worded, as usual! We’ll have to start compiling a “best of wdydfae’s reviews” list one of these days!

      • wdydfae says:

        Don’t forget to include my ultimate triumph: blurbs on my blurbs:

        “. . . intrusive . . . obnoxious . . . sickeningly self-indulgent . . .”

        ” . . . the elipses and sentence fragment formula is as distressingly frequent as it is drearily predictable . . .”

        “. . . Would someone ask him to stop? Please? I mean, really. Please? . . .”

        “. . . wdydfae’s faux blurbs jumped the shark weeks ago, but that hasn’t stopped their bloated remains from bobbing in the water since . . .”

        • Dave says:

          LOL! I just about choked on my absurdly huge submarine sandwich while reading that first one! So good! I love it! I love them all!

      • amb says:

        Mine too. Even the ones that you don’t actually write: xo.

        • Dave says:

          Wow, those were the days! I remember that one comment for obvious reasons, but I actually only remembered two sentences – the legendary lovies sentence and the one where I mention meeting ambien Dave. But wow, that comment thread was something else! The funny thing is even after totally screwing with my system by having caffeine then ambien, I got an A on that exercise physiology final, and an A+ on the diseases of the nervous system one I took the day before. Maybe that’s a good strategy for future success… uppers then downers. What could go wrong?

    • Liz says:

      diddy, you are outdoing yourself here. I can only stand back and watch in awe. So funny. Love the image of Dave spewing all this verbiage around and having it end up in cul-de-sacs, etc. You are brilliant, though I would be worried if you took over the world as I’m not certain you have all of humanity’s best interest at heart 😉 Though Dave would balance you out (and you would balance him) and we’d have perfect Yin and Yang.

  3. amb says:

    One explanation, coming up. ahem: “why amb loves Lorde and is jealous of her vocal cords (and hair)”

    Imagine all of the “but no one understands what it’s like to be meeee!!!” angst that you felt when you were a teen; or, if you’re me, that you published in your high school’s art magazine.

    Now imagine that it actually sounds good. And that you set it to music. And that it exploded on the charts in your home country, and is on it’s way to becoming an international smash hit, too.

    And you’re doing all of this while looking amazing, and not succumbing to media and societal pressure about having an idealized, oversexualized, and unobtainable body type. And have I mentioned that you’re only 16?!?!?

    • wdydfae says:

      Well, when you put it like that . . .

    • Dave says:

      Sounds good to me! I had no idea she was 16. That’s unbelievable! I always get slightly miffed by youngsters who are so much more accomplished than me, but she’s mature enough to feature boxing gloves in her music videos, so that’s pretty awesome. I understand the appeal!

      • amb says:

        Diddy: Dave thinks critically about scientific advancements and the implications and innovations they lead to; I think critically about society and the unspoken expectations we place on one another. Together we’re totally going to take over the world!

        Dave: Right?!?

        • Dave says:

          YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the sound of that!

        • wdydfae says:

          At first I misread and thought you and Dave were taking over the word, and was preparing my submission speech for our new overlords. And then I re-read and saw it was me and Dave.

          Bwah ha ha ha ha ha! Good one, Amb!

          I couldn’t take over my socks drawer.

  4. Bumba says:

    After I ate all those Cumbercup cakes, I had to loosen my cumberbun.

    • Dave says:

      There was an article we posted way back when about a reporter calling him Bandersnatch Cummerbund. His name is like a playground for ridiculous-sounding variants!

  5. Dave you make this so hard for me on Friday’s. I still don’t know which I love more, the post or the comments. So I’m not going to choose.

    On a separate note, I may never be able to get that beard and mustache combo out of my head.

    And what is your baseball cheat sheet, I am intrigued…

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