Odd and Unusual Baseball Injuries – and a Few Unusual Names!

While not the most physical of sports, baseball and injuries go hand in hand. Nary a week goes by when a pitcher doesn’t make news for having to undergo career-saving (but season ending) Tommy John surgery. Prior to this innovative procedure, many arm injuries for pitchers were career ending.

But then there are the strange, sad and downright silly injuries. The John Smoltz ironing his shirt while wearing it type injuries. The Clint Barmes hurting himself carrying deer meat up the stairs type. The Sammy Sosa sneezing-induced back spasms type.

While these are all fascinating (and debilitating) injuries, we’re here for funny names. So I’ve picked a few of the strangest injuries suffered by people with strange names:

  1.  Glenallen Hill – while nothing is odd about the names Glen or Allen, the combination is somewhat unusual. His name sounds more like a neighborhood or a small mountain than the name of a big league outfielder. But much stranger is how Glenallen received numerous cuts after falling out of bed onto a glass table…while having a nightmare about being covered in spiders. Yes, you heard that right.
  2. Carlton Loewer – Padres pitcher, whose career was more or less ruined after he suffered severe leg injuries after falling out of a tree stand while hunting.
  3. Wade Boggs – an odd but often overlooked name due to his fame, Mr. Boggs once hurt his back…putting on some cowboy boots.
  4. Steve Sparks – while trying to provide a spark to his team by doing the always motivational stunt of ripping a phone book in half, Sparks did more damage to himself than the pesky directory. He ended up dislocating his shoulder in the incident.
  5. Ricky Bones – Pitcher Ricky Bones (good thing he didn’t go by Dick) injured his lower back…getting out of a chair while watching TV in the clubhouse.
  6. Oddibe McDowell – had one of the games all-time great names. Also had the misfortune of slicing his hand…while buttering a roll at a yearly welcome lunch held by the Texas Rangers.
  7. Khalil Greene and Kenny Rogers – Shortstop and Pitcher, respectively, who both suffered from one of baseball’s big injury no-no’s after letting their anger get the best of them. Greene, during a disappointing season with the Padres, took a swing at a storage cabinet after striking out for the 100th time that year, breaking his hand. He missed the rest of the season. The Gambler did something similar while taking a whack at a water cooler, a whack which resulted in Rogers dislocating his pinky finger. However, he did the smartest thing a pitcher can do when taking out his frustrations in an unintelligent manner – he punched the cooler with his non-pitching hand. Take note, little leaguers, take note. (kidding of course – be safe, kids!) However, a far more intelligent thing would be to hit the cooler with a bat, or bust up some clubhouse toilets with a bat – a la Kevin Brown. I’d also suggest either hollering or yodeling to relieve the anger. But that doesn’t seem to be the most popular method for ballplayers. Apparently Kenny Rogers, on that day, didn’t know when to walk away, know when to run…

Moving dirt, throwing bases and re-enacting scenes from ‘Nam also seemed to help  minor league manager Phil Wellman blow off some steam:

Okay, some of these names weren’t the funniest of the funny, but I figured I’d try something different…and also introduce y’all to Mr. Wellman, who sure put on a show that evening and reminded me why I love this great game…you never known what you’re gonna see when you go to the ballpark.

You go, Phil Wellman!

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About Rob

Huge San Diego Padres fan, working as an economic consultant in Pasadena, CA. Contributor to the Funny Names Blog. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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23 Responses to Odd and Unusual Baseball Injuries – and a Few Unusual Names!

  1. wdydfae says:

    Great stuff! I hope Dave doesn’t go all Wellman on us some day and start ripping out our posts and throwing them at fellow contributors.

    “But much stranger is how Glenallen received numerous cuts after falling out of bed onto a glass table…while having a nightmare about being covered in spiders.”

    It could have been worse. What if he had a nightmare about falling on a glass table and then woke up covered in spiders?

    • Dave says:

      Haha, it’s true. He should be counting his lucky stars that the dream didn’t go the way you described.

      • Rob says:

        I guess it also depends on what kind of spiders! While scary, a heaping helping of daddy longlegs is less likely to put you on the DL than a bad cut. But then, would the fear of spiders all over him lead him to fall through a glass table anyway? One of life’s unanswerable questions.

  2. marksackler says:

    Here’s a one-of-a-kind baseball injury sustained by one Henry Cotto (not a particularly funny or strange name–but he happens to be a personal friend of mine). Cotto was a utility outfield for the Cubs, Yankees, Mariners and Marlins. In 1985, he was in the Yankees dugout, innocently cleaning his ear with a Q-Tip when teammate Ken Griffey, Sr. accidentally bumped into him, driving the Q-tip into his ear and rupturing his eardrum. He missed several games as a result, but there may have been an upside. Billy Martin was the Yankee manager that year…one would assume he subsequently sat on the bench keeping battling Billy to the bad ear side.

  3. Liz says:

    curious about the call that brought out the 5-year-old in Wellman–was it really rotten or was Wellman just going off? At the risk of angering Wellman further, I’ll note that I’m unimpressed with his tantrum. If either of my young girls pulled something like that, they’d have privileges yanked faster than you can say “yer oooouuuuuuuuttt!”

    Lots of shaking up here @ BoFN with Tracy’s out-of-the-box posts and now your venturing into injury research. Way to keep it fresh.

    • Dave says:

      Haha, he and a guy named Joe Mikulik had two of the best baseball meltdowns ever. You have to wonder if some of it was a publicity stunt to raise awareness for his team. It’s tough to get noticed in the minors!

      • Liz says:

        A stunt would be better than grown professional throwing a tantrum on the job. Though I suppose that’s more common in sports than other arenas. I’m soooo mature so I can make these calls 😉

        • Dave says:

          Haha, well you’re more emotionally mature than Rob (who called Amb “America’s hat girl” the other day, in reference to the fact that Canada is apparently America’s hat), and me, and Amb, so your input is nonetheless appreciated, even if you did mask that statement with a wink and excessive o’s.

          • Liz says:

            and by “mature” I assume you mean “wise beyond my years,” yes?

            lol “America’s hat girl.” When I read that, I thought amb and Rob had been talking hats on facebook (stranger things have happened), but what you say makes more sense. Rob can’t take this too far as fact is that Amb would lovely in a hat. Picture her in this one, for instance: http://wp.me/p3e1rf-fE

            Then picture Rob in that hat. Who looks better?

          • Rob says:

            Amb looks better! Okay, I admit it! She’s a good looking hat for America. 🙂

    • Rob says:

      Hahaha, I personally wouldn’t know what the hell to do if my kid crawled toward a rosin bag, pretended to pull the pin, and heaved the thing toward me like it was a hand grenade. I’d probably find it both hilarious and disturbing.

      I personally love the way Wellman so carefully pats down the dirt around the plate. He really puts care into it.

  4. amb says:

    I have to admit I was a little nervous opening today’s post – given the week we’ve had so far, I was expecting dogsledding to work and Don Cherry jokes from you. Instead I get Kenny Rogers puns! Yay! You go, Rob!

  5. Loved the post, Rob! Especially line 5. Nearly lost the tea on that one. I agree with Amb, the Kenny Rogers puns, loved ’em.

  6. Arto says:

    Oddibe McDowell? Now there’s an oddity. Gotta be careful with those butter knives, eh?

    One of my favorite sports injuries happened just a year or two ago to hockey and LA Kings’ Dustin Penner, who suffered a back injury…while eating pancakes.

  7. ksbeth says:

    can’t get back dick bones

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