Headbutting Bears with Dickie Bird in Funny Names in the News Vol. 60

Hello Funny Names Fans and welcome to November! Today we celebrate not just massive candy-enduced sugar hangovers (I’m looking at you, Amb), but also all the best names found in the news this week.

It’s also Kinky Friedman‘s birthday! Hip Hip Hooray!

Dickie Bird in traditional cricket garb.

Dickie Bird in traditional cricket garb.

We begin this week’s coverage with the story of Yusuf Alchagirov, an 80-year-old shepherd in Southern Russia, who was confronted by a bear in a raspberry field, decided to fight the bear, was thrown off a cliff in the melee, and survived to tell the tale. Reports the Guardian :

Despite his age, Alchagirov showered kicks and headbutts on the bear and managed to knock it off balance.

That’s right. An octogenarian, upon being attacked by a bear, decides to fight back by headbutting the bear. This was apparently a good idea as he came out of it alive, and was baked no less than three pies by family members as a celebration. Happy ending there.

Back to America, where a man named Jamieson McGonigle is making the news. Mr. McGonigle isn’t just your average 28-year-old New Yorker with a spectacular name. Oh no, he also really likes movies, and when he really likes a movie, he’ll go all out to champion it. He’s created buzz with some sold out revival screenings of the underseen 2007 film The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. This doesn’t surprise me, as the film really is excellent, even as it completely flopped on its opening.  Funnily enough, the New York Times in their original review of the film described it as “lachrymose”, which is a good word, but probably won’t send too many people to theaters. Regardless, way to go Mr. McGonigle.

A bear eating raspberries, earlier. Raspberries are known to be a comfort food for headbutted caniforms.

A bear eating raspberries, earlier. Raspberries are known to be a comfort food for headbutted caniforms.

“Interesting” news now from England, where former cricket umpire Dickie Bird was pleased to start the Yorkshire Marathon at the tender age of 80. It is unknown if he encountered any bears in the process, but if so, reports suggest he may just have flipped them the bird.

Finally, onto sports where World Champion Swimmer Gerhard Zandberg has decided to hang up the speedo and retire from competitive swimming. His name will be missed in and out of the sport.

That’s all we got this week! Come on back next time for more “news”!

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About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names. www.funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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28 Responses to Headbutting Bears with Dickie Bird in Funny Names in the News Vol. 60

  1. wdydfae says:

    That was truly a razzed bear-y field! (Wince)

  2. amb says:

    Arto !!! Can I tell you how much me and my massive sugar hangover love that you used the word “melee” this morning? Hint: it’s a lot.

  3. Liz says:

    brouhahas, bears, raspberries, pies, Dickies–so much to love here, Arto. Happy 60th birthday to FNitN 😀

    You’ve covered the young, old, and hairy (the bear)–what more would a person need on the first Friday of November. Nothing, that’s what.

    Hope you were part of amb’s entourage over at food for fun yesterday so you could partake in the candy bar fest.

  4. Once again, I don’t know which I like better, the comments or the posts.

    Now I do have a tombstone or should I call it a tome-stone dedicated to beer gardens, so all Brewhahas are clearly welcome. 🙂

    Great post, Arto!

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