Funny Names in the News 67, with a Splendid Announcement from Russia

Rooty tooty fresh and fruity! It’s Funny Names in the News, and a special one at that: today, FNITN turns the ripe old age of “2/3 rounded to the nearest integer.” Woopy doo!

There’s a lot to cover this week, so let’s get down to business!

The first photo that comes up when you Google "Scarlett Johansson voice." Sure. Why not?

The first photo that comes up when you Google “Scarlett Johansson voice.” Sure. Why not?

Projection Correspondent Arto brings us this shiny piece of showbiz news:

In the new film “Her,” Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore Twombly, ” a complex, soulful man” who falls in love with Scarlett Johansson’s voice. Dave can tell you more about that experience. [Film Trailer]

Why is he Projection Correspondent? Because he’s projecting his Scarlett enthusiasm on to me! I’m just a mere fan.. he’s the one who told me about the album she made with Tom Waits, and introduced me to her Woody Allen collaborations.

Now one thing Arto is glad to take credit for is this little morsel: A man named Arlan Galbraith was jailed for a pigeon breeding scheme(!) Check out the Wellington Adviser for the juicy gossip.

I wonder if famed pigeon enthusiast Mike Tyson has an opinion on this?

Obscure Local Publications expert Arto brings us the pleasant news that the Tinkle Family (Wayne, Elle, Joslyn, Lisa and Tres Tinkle) checked in at the Missoula Doubletree. He adds

“this is a good opportunity for a pee joke – i can explain in greater detail if you want.”

I don’t get it Arto. Please explain in greater detail in the comments section.

Now, I’ve grown accustomed to asking Where in the blue hell did Arto find this?, but perhaps a more apt question is Where in the blue hell would this be newsworthy? The answer: the Great Falls Tribune! Check it out!

Liz, don’t read this!

You bad bad Minnesotan, you. 🙂

That's the mother?!? She looks like she's Amb's age and barely out of high school.

That’s the mother?!? She looks like she’s Amb’s age and barely out of high school.

Effervescent Entertainment Correspondent Amb!!! tells (most of) us:

Liz, don’t read this, but we met the Mother on HIMYM this week, and she’s played by actress Cristin Milioti. One of my favourite [sic] episodes of the season! Vulture agrees! amb xo

She then fills us in on more recent news over at Vulture.

The first teaser trailer for “Transcendence” has come out. Excellent BoFN date night material. There’s Johnny Depp for me and all sorts of brainy science-y things for DMC. By funny-named first-time director Wally Pfister. [Trailer] – amb xo

Sounds good to me 🙂

Finally, Remote Locations News Expert Arto dangles this enticing little story for all the boys and girls out there:

Sancho Gelb among skaters in this cool helicopter-through-pond-hockey-game piece of “canadiana”. With comments from Tarek Husevold

Wow. That’s a sentence I never thought I’d read.

At last, there is nothing left to say 🙂

Just kidding, of course there is! Self-Proclaimed Pussy* Expert Dave (Me!) is elated to announce that Nadya Tolokonnikova and Maria Alekhina of the band Pussy Riot have been granted amnesty and freed from prison!

Hopefully this puts an end to the injustices against my favorite Russian band. However, I hope it doesn’t spell the end of our Pussy Riot coverage, which began 43 FNITNS ago and has enjoyed a long and storied history (including a cameo in one of Liz’s posts). We here at BoFN HQ wish them only the best, and hope they continue to do awesome, courageous, newsworthy things.

In their honor, I’ve prepared a helpful visual slideshow to commemorate the story of Nadya Tolokonnikova and Maria Alekhina.

Once upon a time, a band called Pussy Riot were “Putin” jail by a bad(ly Photoshopped) man.

Putin and Pussy Riot

They responded by speaking out against an oppressive government, writing letters to philosophers, and taking adorable prison photos like this:

Pussy Riot

Awwwwwww!

Awwwwwww!

They were finally freed, and get to continue their awesome activism, music, and costume design.

Now there is truly nothing left to say.

Now there is truly nothing left to say.

Congratulations ladies. Your outspokenness and fearless courage have made us all proud.

And to you, dear reader, thanks for being with us for 67 editions of Funny Names in the News. We’re excited to enter the third trimester of our first century of FNITNs. Enjoy your Friday, and we’ll see you next week for a post-Christmas edition of Funny Names in the News!

 

*Riot

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About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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25 Responses to Funny Names in the News 67, with a Splendid Announcement from Russia

  1. Liz says:

    “Rooty tooty fresh and fruity!” is my all-time favorite quote here. It’s sort of like you’re advertising fruit loops or some such cereal 🙂

    Great post, though I didn’t read that middle section where it said “Liz, don’t read this!” because I’m a good Minnesotan and always do as told. Wonder what that portion of your report read?

    Love the Pussy Riot synopsis. They are pretty ladies without those freaky and garish masks. Lol “putin” pun, but you did NOT call yourself “Self-Proclaimed Pussy* Expert,” did you? Come on, bro’. This is a classy joint here. (lol, maybe not so much after Arto brought Ron Burgundy in the picture. And I have some sort of repressed memory of a Taye Diggs graphic with moving parts.)

    Lots of links to check out later. Thanks for always Putin in the time here 😉 Have a great holiday season yourself. Bourbon balls over at food for fun should you need a pick-me-up 😀

  2. amb says:

    I have to admit, I’m conflicted about today’s reporting. On one hand, I appreciate that you continue to think I’m eternally youthful (even though I am, chronologically at least, more of a grownup than you). On the other hand, you don’t give me spiffy new correspondent names or new material anymore – you’re all about the effervescent copy and paste. I think I’m getting a complex.

    • Dave says:

      I’m so sorry… I just think Effervescent is such a good name. I’ll pick it up a notch next time, I promise! I did have the correspondent name “Sites Named After Scavenging Birds of Prey Correspondent” for you in an earlier draft, but I was already well over 700 words so had to do some trimming. No harm intended.

      • Dave says:

        Oh…. AND I also had “Transcendent Torontonian Correspondent” in there, but eschewed it for space reasons as well! Don’t worry Amber! Your spiffy new correspondent names are chronicled in the “Revisions” of this draft, I promise.

        And what do you mean about not giving you new material? I try. I really do! My whole blogging existence is about making you happy, and it must have been the fact that my tutoring schedule increased by 30 hrs/week this week. I’m off my game. I’m SOSORRY amb!

        • amb says:

          I’m teasing you, kitten. I just meant that you copy and paste my BoFN draft comments in their entirety – random x’s and o’s and your middle initial and all. 😉

  3. Arto says:

    Tinkle! Because their name is Tinkle it’s like they’re always tinkling and taking tinkles and stuff! Oh it’s just such a doozy, isn’t it Dave? Good old fashioned family fun!

    I agree with Liz re : but you did NOT call yourself “Self-Proclaimed Pussy* Expert”. Where does that asterisk lead? It’s a genuine dibbeedeedoodah FNITN mystery! Gee golly! So fun!

    Wally Pfister is a funny name! Another one I’ve seen many times and never thought of covering on this blog. What a didgedywhoop-whoop whomper of a good one. Yay Wally!

    I’m excited today.

  4. ksbeth says:

    heard about their impending release today on the radio and it was hysterical just listening to npr say the name ‘pussy riot,’ a bit awkward for them.

    • Dave says:

      Haha, isn’t it a delightful name?! I feel they would have gotten far less attention had they chosen a less evocative name.

  5. Arto says:

    This is a very good dictionary entry. I will start using all of these synonyms for definition 1 to denote definition 2. Rebelllllllll.

    tin·kle
    ˈtiNGkəl/
    verb
    verb: tinkle; 3rd person present: tinkles; past tense: tinkled; past participle: tinkled; gerund or present participle: tinkling

    1.
    make or cause to make a light, clear ringing sound.
    “cool water tinkled in the stone fountains”
    synonyms: ring, jingle, jangle, chime, peal, ding, ping More
    “the bell tinkled”
    splash, purl, babble, burble;
    literaryplash
    “cool water tinkled in the stone fountain”
    2.
    informal
    urinate.

    • Dave says:

      Wow, you ARE a rebel! A ruthless, hardened-criminal type of rebel!

    • Liz says:

      day after Christmas and sitting down to read these comments. laughing hysterically–you are all too funny. (in a good way) Was also over at the Santie Claws post and liked how you were gesturing while speaking Italian, Arto. Altogether, a talented bunch. You guys never fail to crack me up. Thanks for the laughs this year 😀

  6. wdydfae says:

    Am I the only one who thinks Nadya Tolokonnikova looks like Scarlet Johansson’s less famous sister?

    But it’s neat how everyone can say “pussy” now!

    Pussy!

    Having said that, I’m not sure I really understand the name. I mean, sure, the cats where I live sometimes make quite a ruckus outside, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a riot.

  7. Pingback: Shaka! Pussy Riot Rocks the Sochi Winter Olympics and more in Funny Names in the News 73 | The Blog of Funny Names

  8. Pingback: Funny Names In The News 76, Brought to you by Ryan Gosling and Speed Weed | The Blog of Funny Names

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