Today, the Blog of Funny Names begins a lofty undertaking: compiling a list of the funniest names at the 2014 Winter Olympics at Sochi.
For many months afterwards, our 2012 Olympics traffic looked like a giant middle finger saying “You will never reach these heights again!” but now it looks like a dislodged vertebra on a graphical snake.
Loyal readers of the BoFN will know just how significant the Olympics are for our success: back in 2012, when this blog was in its infancy, the 2012 London Summer Olympics initiated a tour-de-force of traffic that changed the history of this blog. Only two days of Olympics traffic in July completely obliterated our previous monthly record for blog hits, and then August – as you can see – brought us into a different stratosphere.
While we don’t expect the same results – the Winter Olympics is far less prominent than its summer counterpart – it still presents us the opportunity to delve into some extraordinary funny names. Whereas the summer Olympics provided some high-yield hilarious names from tropical countries, Sochi lets us explore funny names of the Nordic variety.
We’re all about diversity, y’all!
Without further ado, some early offerings from the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics roster. We’ll be providing more doozies throughout the coming weeks.
14 of the Funniest Names from the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics
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Ieva Januškevičiūtė with a look of icy determination. See what I did there?
Erla Asgeirsdottir and Helga Maria Vilhjalmsdottir – Fun fact: “Dottir” means “daughter” in Icelandic, so presumably these two young Alpine skiers (Erla is 19 and Helga is 18) have fathers named Asgeir and Vilhjalm, both of whom must be looking on proudly.
- Ieva Januškevičiūtė – A Lithuanian alpine skier. Longtime readers of this blog know I’m a sucker for ladies from former Soviet nations, and when you add on a name with no fewer than four unusual characters, I’m positively smitten.
- Cathleen Martini – I’m sure this veteran bobsledder’s name isn’t particularly funny in Germany, but for English-speaking drinkers, it certainly inspires … something. James Bond would be proud.
- Thomas Hundertpfund – It’s just crazy how in a few short years, I’ve become older than most Olympic athletes. Thomas Hundertpfund is a 24-year-old Austrian who plays hockey for Timrå IK in the HockeyAllsvenskan league, and is in Sochi to represent his home country, as well as people with the “rtpf” combo in their names worldwide.
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Per Spett. No jokes necessary to describe his awesomeness.
Per Spett – Here’s a guy about my age, but with a beard that would take me lifetimes to grow. He’s a 3-time Olympian mogul skier who has yet to end up on a podium, but his beard still holds a special place in all of our hearts.
- Satoshi Sakashita, Macarena Simari Birkner and Byambadorj Bold – Byambadorj is a cross country skier from Mongolia, Macarena (in addition to being a popular 90s dance) is an Argentinean Alpine Skier, and Mr. Sakashita is a Japanese short-track speed skater. All three prove that you needn’t be Nordic to rock an awesome name at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
- Sugar Raeshelle-Faye Chelsea Todd – Finishing our inaugural lineup of funny names is Sugar Todd, an American speed skater from Omaha, Nebraska. The 23-year-old is a first-time Olympian and will be racing to make her home country proud in Sochi.
That’s our first dose of funny names from the 2014 Sochi Olympics. We’ll be administering more throughout the week. Before we close out Monday’s post, though, we must give special attention to Athanassios Tsakiris and Panagiota Tsakiris. The Greek father-daughter duo were the first flag bearers of the Olympics (Greece always goes first, followed by the other countries alphabetically according to the host country’s alphabet), earning them some special recognition.
We wish all these athletes (and Per Spett’s beard) the best as they pursue athletic greatness and make their countries proud.
The brown Olympics “Polar” bear mascot is proud too, I think…
The Blog of Funny Names 
The blurb generator kicked into action in the opening segment, whirring and humming along confidently with ” . . . a feisty and frosty Olympian tour de force . . .” “. . . a wicked but affectionate tribute to our masters of ice and snow . . .”
But then Arto started with the names, and the cogs and gears of the blurb machine started getting overtaxed, exceeding their industrial specifications. “. . . a wondrous . . .” “. . . a wintery . . .” “. . . ski . . . snowboggin . . . skateboarding . . .” The device heated up alarmingly. The emergency cooling system struggled to contain the rising temperatures in the overheated components. “. . . tobogan . . . snowbogan . . . good snowborg . . . snowboken . . .” Steam appeared, then smoke. “. . . snowbird . . . winter . . . winner . . . snowbing . . . bing . . . bong . . . bing bong snowthingee” The blurb generator trembled, then wobbled, then fell over on its side, sputtering and spasm-ing, belching smoke and spitting fire, nuts and bolts shooting like all directions and punching holes in the walls.
Then it just exploded in a blinding and deafening white flash.
Arto, you killed my blurb generator!
It was a prototype. One of its kind!
You monster!
I probably shouldn’t tell you this Diddz, since I have a vested interest in keeping him alive and in one piece … but Dave’s the monstrous one. Arto’s Finnish sensibilities are far too refined to commit violence against your beloved blurb generator! But Dave got swept up in a moment with Ieva. See what happens when I leave him to go back to my home country ?!? Sorry, kitten.
Did I do the old Dave-Arto switcheroo again? That danged dastardly duo!
LOL. Your switcheroos make me laugh, because I’m such a fangirl that I can always tell when Dave’s writing. Feel like a teeny-bopper member of a boy band fan club, here. *facepalm*
BTW, what does “swept up in a moment with leva” mean?
I mean other than somethine that sounds like a line from a Christopher Cross song.
Teehee. It does! Ieva is number two on today’s list of funny named Olympians. Dave has a thing for ladies from former Soviet nations 😉
D’oh.
I’m losing track of the cues I’m missing today.
Well, now that you and Dave are back, you two are going to set everything right.
Yikes! This comment section got really involved really quickly!
… and that’s different from any other day when Diddy and I are hanging out at BoFN how? 😉
Fair point
I was concerned for just a moment that I had written this post, and just had no memory of it. Now that’d break a blurb generator.
Haha, everything is so wild today!
The oldies but goodies are still the best. I was glad to see the Apolo Ohno return to the Olympics, if only as a commentator on NBC.
Definitely. One of those classic names that’s so common you forget just how funny it is until someone reminds you!
if we get nothing else from the olympics, we are left with an amazing smattering of unusual names. in my opinion, per spett is per-fect.
Absolutely. Per Spett and his beard are quite the sight!
You had me at Hundertpfud.
I mean Hundertpfund?
Haha, either will do 🙂 It’s unlikely anyone’s going to correct your spelling of that name 🙂
Which is why I went back to Leslie Jo Chase from K-O-R-E-N-G-O-L-D. My mother-in-law warned me I’d be spelling it out for the rest if my life and 27 years later I still am!
Haha, fair point. We’re here to try to make up for the constant need to spell one’s name by celebrating names that we find delightful! I have a boring name, Arto has a really interesting one, so our crew represents all name-loving demographics! 🙂
My friend who has a lovely first name, Juliet, had a lovely last name: Naft. When she got married she took her husband’s last name, Plonsker. After much discussion between the Plonskers and the Korengolds we decided I got the better deal. She really got screwed! I’m trying to get her to write because she writes well. Maybe she can use Naft as her pen name.
Haha, wow, you are the kind of person who was meant to interact with our blog! Korengold, Plonsker… I’m really loving this discussion!
Me, too! BTW, you can find me and subscribe at http://www.lesliejochase.com. I thought I’d show up in the reader but there was a Shattenkirk in the Clutterbuck (2 of the best hockey names, don’t you think?”
We haven’t featured Shattenkirk yet, but Clutterbuck has definitely made an appearance or two.
Also, I noticed something a bit odd – if you type in http://www.lesliejochase.com, it brings up a “page not found” error through WordPress, but if you type lesliejochase.com (without the www.) then it gets to the proper page. Most domains are set up to have an automatic redirect, but you may want to check that out with WordPress…
Thanks
! I’ve just noticed this issue also AS I HAD JUST POSTED ALL ABOUT MY FB PAGE AND WEBSITE (and spelled my own name incorrectly) all over FB. I’m going to bed and hoping this is just a bad dream. Thanks for letting me know, though! What a Clutterbuck of a Shattenkirk this has turned out to be!
P.S. I thought there was an auto redirect, too. The only thing I can think of is that my website guy is working on the site and didn’t tell me. I don’t really know what the issue is, however, I do know that it is a Fuster Cluck!
I can’t remember if I responded to you yet. Sorry if I didn’t and sorry if I am responding Twice. You are correct about that but I’m so not tech savvy and my wrangler is out of town.
my head spins. Seems I can not step back from BoFN for even a day without missing worlds of excitement. A nearly-blown blurb generator? That’s something that should be written up in Combustibles magazine (let me know if you get that 😉 ) And the old switcheroo. And flirting. This is why we keep coming back.
My favorite name of the post will of course be Sugar.
There’s no “nearly-blown” about it. That sucker is dust.
Another thing exploding is the views for Dave’s post. Check out them numbers!
He musta turned into a rock star after visiting the Hall of Fame.
Pretty sure his rock-star-ness is a result of his dinner date, actually 😉
Surely it is!
Haha, let’s keep falsely attributing my Olympics success to other things. Any other candidates? 🙂
Oh, behave!
RrrrrrrRRROOOOOOoooooowwwwwll!
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I’m totally changing my name to something with an “rtpf” in it. Any suggestions?