Howzit! Thanks, eh? All right! It’s Funny Names In The News Friday!
Why did I introduce FNITN this way? Because my Nordic Correspondent Arto introduced me to this paragraph from the Shaka Sign Wikipedia page, and it’s solid gold!
“Hawaiians use the shaka to convey the “Aloha Spirit”, a concept of friendship, understanding, compassion, and solidarity among the various ethnic cultures that reside within Hawaii, lacking a direct semantic to literal translation. The shaka can also be used to express “howzit?”, “thanks, eh?”, and “all right!” Drivers will often use it on the road to communicate distant greetings and gratitude.”
Snazzy Jazzy Pizzazzy Correspondent Amb! took a break from questioning whether I can write FNITN during an interview week to bring us the Amb-mazing news that Jada Pinkett Smith has been cast in Gotham. She’ll play Fish Mooney, who is described as “a sadistic gangster boss and nightclub owner.” She sums it up thusly:
Because, you know. Fish. Scary stuff.
Pithy.
Moving on to the 2014 Winter Olympics at Sochi, where our PR Directors Davember nearly simultaneously reported that my favo(u)rite Russian Women[citation needed] are behind bars again. The fine young ladies of Pussy Riot, headed by Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, Maria Alyokhina and Yekaterina Samutsevich (plus numerous anonymous, but presumably awesome-named, members) were beaten by Cossack police and then detained in the process of filming their first music video since being released from jail. That whole episode was previously described in pictorial form here.
On to non-Russian sporting news, our esteemed Mountweazel correspondent Mark Sackler informs us that Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele (who tweeted a link to our blog about a year ago) posted an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING SPOOF of the College Football Bowl intro sequence, chock full of amazing funny names. Watch the whole thing, it’s totally worth it. So many good names, but Nyquillus Dillwad is definitely one of my favorites.
Time is short folks, so I’ll have to knock the rest of these out in “quick hits” style:
- Footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger announced recently that he is gay, and the Guardian talks about the ramifications.
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Funny Sunny Honey Bunny correspondent Amb lets us know that Gregory Go Boom won the top prize for US Fiction in Sundance’s short films competition. The best part: the film is directed by Janicza Bravo! Bravo indeed!
- As many of you know, legendary folk singer and Arto’s wife’s personal hero, Pete Seeger, passed away late last month. What you may not know is that the news was announced by Seeger’s grandson Kitama Cahill-Jackson. We wish the family the best during an unquestionably difficult time.
- And last, but certainly not least, nuclear fusion made a huge step forward as researchers have found a way to get a net energy gain out of the notoriously energetically-unfavorable reaction. And who better to participate in this than Omar Hurricane! That’s the name of a born winner, right there!
That’ll do it, ladies and germs! Enjoy the remainder of the Sochi Olympics, and we’ll catch you on the flip side. FNITN out! <mic drop>
Key and Peele: major, major LOL!
I know… it was like a machine gun of awesomeness!
The only thing that could possibly top that Key and Peele sketch for funny football names is….real football names! Stay tuned for The Blog of Funny Names second annual “Funniest Names in the NFL Draft” poll coming in May.
I can’t wait! Sounds super fun! Let’s hope Barkevious Mingo gets a run for his money!
Be assured, he will!
Oh, kitten. I question because I love! And speaking of which, I love my latest rhyming correspondent names this week – you’re on a roll !!!
You won’t believe how many seconds I spent crafting the perfect correspondent names in a half-awake stupor!
P.S. Amb, did you notice the Benedict Cumberbatch reference in the Key & Peele video?
Howzit! Jooooo!
Anyone named Dillwad is my favorite. Love the herb too, it’s dill-icous! Right Liz?
As a proponent of -quil cough remedies, I like Nyquillus as well!
Hey, I guess the Russians must have also been threatening the judges of figure skating with arrest, too.
That’s the only way to explain how they could pretend that Kim Yuna didn’t win.
Right?!? I couldn’t believe that.
lots of crazy going on over in sochi. heard about pussy riot, the one olympic circle that failed to light, and did you see the video of the wolf walking down the hall in the athlete’s hotel ?