A Tribute to Fred Wah in the Form of a Canadian Styled Poem

Out in Swift Current, Saskachewan eh!
In 1939 there emerged a special lover of moose-flavored sorbet
Wonderfully named and armed with goatee,
A man set to make some history.

Born Frederick James Wah,
like the pedal under Jimi’s paw,
We all now just call him Fred,
a true Canadian, born and bred.

From 2011 to this day in time,
He’s celebrated with margaritas and sweet lime
Thanks to his assignment as Canada’s Poet Laureate,
a position so grand and glorious,
its holders have amazing skills
like rhyming with words like “laureate”

Hey, he’s even taught at Dave and Arto’s alma mater,
Where we’re barely qualified to carry his water,
The University of Calgary, a place of higher learning,
cold weather, hockey fans, and reasonably priced chicken wings.
Remembering all that has awoken in me a long lost yearning,
for barbecue sauce and Molson Canadian..and all those things.

Hey, we all have our preferences.

You’ve surely realized by now,
the writer of this piece has no rhyming consistency or knowhow
no more concept of proper poetic diction
than your least favourite peddler of erotic fiction

Perhaps I’ll try that instead next week.

Back to our hero Mr. Fred Wah.
Growing up in West Kootenay,
He must’ve seen a hootenanny or two in his day.
A co-founder of the world’s first online literary magazine
A periodical fiery like a grill burning sausage under a dangling keg of kerosine.
Swift Current, they called their journal,
Ah, the place where the Molson flows eternal.

Now retired from his teaching jobs,
Mr. Wah greets the neighbourhood’s Jims and Bobs,
With his well named wife Pauline Butling.
At their home in British Columbia,
It’s in Canada of course, not…Um, North Umbria?

Yes, not there.
At least I know a bit aboot geography,
I was never much of  a poet see.
About as good as a Vogon torturer,
Or the writers of Dumb and Dumber-er.

Now go! Pick up a little Fred Wah volume and don’t even worry,
I swear to you friend, you won’t be sawry.

Enjoy a pint of your local brew,
and a wing dipped in the sauce called BBQ.

Mr. Fred Wah, happy with his life before having the misfortune of reading this tribute.

Mr. Fred Wah, happy with his life before having the misfortune of reading this tribute.


About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names. www.funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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17 Responses to A Tribute to Fred Wah in the Form of a Canadian Styled Poem

  1. wdydfae says:

    I love this poem it really made my day
    Especially because now I know how to pronounce sor-bay
    Can you believe it? All this time I thought it was pronounced “sore-bet”
    Well at least I know that the car is not a Cor-vay but a Corvette!
    But what about his wife Pauline how come there’s no rhyming line?
    Oh wait, I think we better leave that one alone never mind!
    Anyway this is cool it’s like rhyming free verse!
    And when it’s free that means you don’t have to take money out of a purse!
    Well I think I’ll sign off now because I can’t think of any more comments
    Hey speaking of money out of a purse I wonder where mom went

  2. Easily the best poetry I have read in ages. Dr. Seuss would be proud.

  3. amb says:

    Arto !!! No disrespect to the lovely Leslie, (or to Dave and my legions of other Imaginary Boyfriends) but I am so totally swooning over you right now. First the Flin Flon post, and now this?!? My Canadian heart just can’t take it.

  4. ksbeth says:

    love the ode to wah, made my day less blah.

  5. Dave says:

    WOW! Amazing! Arto ups the ante once again! Brilliant stuff.

  6. Dave says:

    Arto: Your rhymes are impetuous, your style is impregnable! You totally should eat his children!

  7. “like the pedal under Jimi’s paw” took me a second then couldn’t stop laughing…hilarious line in a great poem.

  8. Arto, simply brilliant. It made up for my loss of internet connectivity the last few days!

  9. Dave says:

    Arto, just saw this post again. Brilliant stuff!

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