Out in Swift Current, Saskachewan eh!
In 1939 there emerged a special lover of moose-flavored sorbet
Wonderfully named and armed with goatee,
A man set to make some history.
Born Frederick James Wah,
like the pedal under Jimi’s paw,
We all now just call him Fred,
a true Canadian, born and bred.
From 2011 to this day in time,
He’s celebrated with margaritas and sweet lime
Thanks to his assignment as Canada’s Poet Laureate,
a position so grand and glorious,
its holders have amazing skills
like rhyming with words like “laureate”
Hey, he’s even taught at Dave and Arto’s alma mater,
Where we’re barely qualified to carry his water,
The University of Calgary, a place of higher learning,
cold weather, hockey fans, and reasonably priced chicken wings.
Remembering all that has awoken in me a long lost yearning,
for barbecue sauce and Molson Canadian..and all those things.
Hey, we all have our preferences.
You’ve surely realized by now,
the writer of this piece has no rhyming consistency or knowhow
no more concept of proper poetic diction
than your least favourite peddler of erotic fiction
Perhaps I’ll try that instead next week.
Back to our hero Mr. Fred Wah.
Growing up in West Kootenay,
He must’ve seen a hootenanny or two in his day.
A co-founder of the world’s first online literary magazine
A periodical fiery like a grill burning sausage under a dangling keg of kerosine.
Swift Current, they called their journal,
Ah, the place where the Molson flows eternal.
Now retired from his teaching jobs,
Mr. Wah greets the neighbourhood’s Jims and Bobs,
With his well named wife Pauline Butling.
At their home in British Columbia,
It’s in Canada of course, not…Um, North Umbria?
Yes, not there.
At least I know a bit aboot geography,
I was never much of a poet see.
About as good as a Vogon torturer,
Or the writers of Dumb and Dumber-er.
Now go! Pick up a little Fred Wah volume and don’t even worry,
I swear to you friend, you won’t be sawry.
Or,
Enjoy a pint of your local brew,
and a wing dipped in the sauce called BBQ.
Mr. Fred Wah, happy with his life before having the misfortune of reading this tribute.
The Blog of Funny Names 
I love this poem it really made my day
Especially because now I know how to pronounce sor-bay
Can you believe it? All this time I thought it was pronounced “sore-bet”
Well at least I know that the car is not a Cor-vay but a Corvette!
But what about his wife Pauline how come there’s no rhyming line?
Oh wait, I think we better leave that one alone never mind!
Anyway this is cool it’s like rhyming free verse!
And when it’s free that means you don’t have to take money out of a purse!
Well I think I’ll sign off now because I can’t think of any more comments
Hey speaking of money out of a purse I wonder where mom went
Pauline’s lack of rhyme constituted a change of style of course – glad you picked up on that! I think your rhymes put mine to shame but that’s what the comment section is here fir, eh?
Haha, brilliance!
Easily the best poetry I have read in ages. Dr. Seuss would be proud.
I’m flattered and pleased with the comparison. Thank you for the oind compliment!
Arto !!! No disrespect to the lovely Leslie, (or to Dave and my legions of other Imaginary Boyfriends) but I am so totally swooning over you right now. First the Flin Flon post, and now this?!? My Canadian heart just can’t take it.
I know, I have significant weaponry in appealing to your peeps with all this Canadiana. It’s a great thing to be swooned over on a Monday. Just starts the week off right.
Haha, ain’t that the truth!
love the ode to wah, made my day less blah.
Beth! This is why we love having you around!
Ah, that one may be the best in the bunch!
I agree. And it’s the Beth’s in the bunch, too!
WOW! Amazing! Arto ups the ante once again! Brilliant stuff.
Arto: Your rhymes are impetuous, your style is impregnable! You totally should eat his children!
“like the pedal under Jimi’s paw” took me a second then couldn’t stop laughing…hilarious line in a great poem.
Arto, simply brilliant. It made up for my loss of internet connectivity the last few days!
Arto, just saw this post again. Brilliant stuff!