Too Much Fun With Tootoo & Elton John in Funny Names in the News!

Whoa there, folks! Slow down! Come on over this way! Yeah, right over here. We’ve got an edition of Funny Names in the News for you so chock full of great names, we just can’t hardly believe it. So we’ll do it softly.

Before we get any further, I must draw your attention to our latest contributor Kerbey’s exceptional first piece on Engelbert Humperdinck right here. Man, she came right out cannons blazing like a Japanese traveler off a tour bus. Good stuff.

Moving on, we start right out with a very punchy name in Garwin CockheadOur Hard Work and Dedication Correspondent Dave brought this one to our attention, a tale of a man with an incredible recovery from a nasty heart condition. Just the way we like ’em.

I was unable to confirm whether this is the correct Mr. Cockhead.

I was unable to confirm whether this is the correct Mr. Cockhead.

Meanwhile, this blog’s intrepid Celebrity Uterus Evacuation Reporter Amb has been back at it and brings us the delightful news that the lovely Olivia Wilde and the very lovely Jason Sudeikis have co-birthed a child, and named him Otis Alexander Sudeikis. Much congratulatory feeling to the happy parents. And the small child as well.

Ms. Wilde also deserves wild cred for her tweet of the birth announcement, which went a little bit something like this :

Ladies and gentlemen, Otis Alexander Sudeikis has LEFT the building! (I’m the building)

Dave has also been watching some men run rather far in a relatively short amount of time, and learned that the Boston Marathon was won by San Diego native Meb Keflezighi. Let’s all sing Keflezighi won the race to the tune of Elton John’s Can You Feel the Love Tonight to celebrate.

What? Why not? Fine, we’ll move on.

Dave is apparently a fan of boxing. Who knew? Anyway, he’s brought our attention to this story, which is titled Patty Boom Boom Races to the Top. What more do you need? Click on over and find out what the heck’s going on!

Our Senior Men Hitting Each Other Writer Dave has this next one covered too. Back to you Dave!

Last Saturday, Bernard Humphrey Hopkins again became the oldest fighter to win a world title fight, and also became the oldest fighter to unify world titles, beating Beibut Shumenov. In the fight, Hopkins won Shumenov’s WBA Light Heavyweight title, to add to the IBF Light Heavyweight title Hopkins won from Tavoris Cloud in March 2013 and defended against Karo Murat in October.

Lots of funny names there, thanks for that one Dave!

Jeff Schlupp is very excited in this photo taken by Neil Plumb.

Jeff Schlupp is very excited in this photo taken by Neil Plumb.

Dave has also been keeping an eye on hockey for us (how does he find the time!), and spotted Detroit Red Wings’ Jordin Tootoo pull of a heartwarming gesture of offering a small child his stick after the game. This made the kid…let’s say pretty happy. You should watch it, it’ll warm those ol’ cockles no matter who you are.

I also find it great that Mr. Tootoo plays with the number 22.

But wait! I have just one more big name for you. It’s from England, where the venerable Leicester City Footsoccerball team were confirmed as the second tier champions this week and will be promoted to the Premier League next season. This will definitely delight not only their striker Jeff Schlupp, but also the Thai owner Vichai SrivaddhanaprabhaI’m off to create a freestyle jazz record in his honor.

See you next week, enjoy your weekend of crazy shenanigans and double doses of poutine!

About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
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16 Responses to Too Much Fun With Tootoo & Elton John in Funny Names in the News!

  1. Liz says:

    Celebrity Uterus Evacuation Reporter? Really? I’m going to suggest “Celebrity Babies” or some such term. Then again, it wouldn’t be FFNItN without all of your razzle dazzle, Arto. (though this one had Dave all over it–are you two sharing a brain when you write these?) I think a “nasty” heart condition” is the least of Mr. Cockhead’s problems. Poor guy.

    Thanks for the whirlywind update, Arto and happy weekend to you and the missus 🙂

    • Dave says:

      Haha, Arto has a way with words, doesn’t he?!? And no, we’re not sharing a brain when we write these – I’m always thrilled to read a new FNITN and see what Arto has been up to!

    • Arto says:

      Razzle dazzle whirlywind is how I roll, as you’ve come to know. Happy weekend to you as well. We’re off for some fast food lobster. That’s how it was described to me so that’s what I’m now looking forward to discovering.

  2. kerbey says:

    This post is like a basket of hot wings, and I need to pick off all the meat from each wing. Agreed that it has been quite a week of odd names. I still want to know why Olivia named her baby Otis, if it is a family name, or just a Garfield reference. Let’s also remember as a teen, she married the Italian prince Tao Ruspoli, a name in itself. She was living an actual Disney fairytale and then wound up with hot, brilliant Sudeikis. Her life does not stink. I just hope each time Jason is with her, he doesn’t announce, “Jason has left the building!” Too far?

    I like Eritrean-born Mebrahtom “Meb” Keflezighi (God bless you), but seriously, have ANY of you ever heard of the country of Eritrea? How is that a real place?

    Regarding Jeff Schlupp, that sounds a lot like schlep, which means carrying something heavy or awkward (like his name???). It also makes me want to yell, “Schlemiel Schlimazel Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” and start the intro to “Laverne and Shirley.” Surely Liz can be the Laverne to my Shirley in this endeavor. She probably already has an “L” sewn on her shirt.

    LOL at freestyle jazz record. Let us know how that goes.

    • amb says:

      I heart you for knowing the gossip about Ms Wilde and her prince – I have visions of us doing a joint post together at some point and turning this place into a virtual issue of Tiger Beat magazine.

    • Arto says:

      I think Eritrea would be a beautiful name for any child. Eritrea Otis Wilde. Sounds like a jazz musician.

      I’d welcome you to yell out “Schlemiel Schlimazel Hasenpfeffer Incorporated” at any time. It’s very therapeutic.

      Thanks for the swingin’ swell comment!

    • Dave says:

      I actually happen to be a bit of a geography buff, so I know exactly where Eritrea is. It’s north of Ethiopia and just next to Somalia.

      Then again, your Olivia knowledge puts my geography knowledge to shame. Impressive factoid about the Italian prince!

    • Dave says:

      Oh man, and I almost overlooked the word Schlimazel making an appearance in this comment! Isn’t Schlimazel a Yiddish word for a chronically unlucky person?

      • kerbey says:

        I think anything Sch is Yiddish. Yes, it’s a chump. This is what they sang on the theme song. I hear it’s a Yiddish-American children’s hopscotch chant, like “one, two, buckle my shoe” for non-Yiddish folks. Or Non-Hebrews. You seriously have heard of Eritrea? I’m still stuck on that.

        • wdydfae says:

          For the record, I got Eritrea, too. I’ve met people from there. Kind of like Ethiopians, people from Eritrea tend to be smart and good looking.

          Dazzling post, Arto (in case you happen to read late, nesting comments).

  3. ksbeth says:

    i cannot move beyond the cockhead fellow.

  4. I love this FNitN’s edition. It has a little something for everyone.

    I, too, know folks from Eritrea. I agree with Wdydfae, those I know are smart and good looking.

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