Shamus Beaglehole and the Crowded Field for Name of the Year

Hello funny names fans!

Just checking in briefly today to report on the discovery of fabulous like minded souls,, who run a wonderful March Madness like bracket to determine the best names of the year. And oh boy, have they discovered some doozies.

They have been running their bracket since 1983, and have wonderful archives for connoisseurs of funny names to go through.

The 2014 champion was the brilliantly named Shamus Beaglehole, a soccer player out of Chesterfield who defeated an impressive crop of contenders, which included these great monikers :


  • Dr. Eve Gruntfest
  • Alkapone Cruz-Balles
  • Chubacca Hung
  • Dr. Loki Skylizard
  • Doby Crotchtangle
  • Curvaceous Bass
  • Genghis Cohen
  • Shitavious Cook
  • Fazwaz Wazwaz
  • Diesel Daigle
  • Tertius Zongo


And many, many more.

My personal favorites must be the winner Mr. Beaglehole, the very jazzy Curvaceous Bass, and of course the rhyming genius of Fazwaz Wazwaz.

Check out the site for your dose of funny named brilliance.



About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
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18 Responses to Shamus Beaglehole and the Crowded Field for Name of the Year

  1. kerbey says:

    No, no, no (shaking head). These cannot be legit. As euphonious as Doby Crotchtangle is (and don’t act like you haven’t encountered a crotchtangle at some point), I can’t imagine a mother would saddle her youngun with such a name. In the process of researching the legitimacy of such a name (P.S. you were right), I came across The New York Islanders’ Miroslav Satan. Satan? Oh, don’t tell the Church Lady.

    And Diesel Daigle’s middle name is Dean! That makes him a Triple D! Just like Guy Fieri, minus the awful bleach spiked hair, visor, Hawaiian shirt, sports car, aversion to eggs, and everything else about him.

    • Arto says:

      I too had the same thought, but they swear the names are real, and I’m gullible enough to believe them.

      23-second research also proved that Tertius Zongo is a prime minister of a real country (I’d vote for a name like that) and Mr. Wazwaz may have allegedly supposedly perhaps been involved with some financial shenanigans at some point. Good enough for me. Could not find any secondary, tertiary or aviary sources for Mr. Crotchtangle though, but I’m leaving it up because it’s funny. Let’s call it a Harry Potter spin-off character and be done with it.

    • Dave says:

      Arto’s a big Miroslav Satan fan (or at least he knows a lot about him, because Arto is a hockey conoisseur).

      As for Doby’s mom, I think by the time your child has the name Crotchtangle, there is no first name that will salvage that.

  2. Good gracious, my monitor was in danger of wearing tea. What a treat, a treasure trove, a tantalizing tongue twister.

  3. Dave says:

    Wow, such goodness! I think Genghis Cohen might be my favorite, just because the idea of a Jewish Genghis Khan is so splendid!

  4. ksbeth says:

    chubacca hung is my main man here.

    • Dave says:

      Haha, Chubacca Hung. The most amazing thing is that the list was so extraordinary that I overlooked that name the first time. Hard to believe I did that!

  5. wdydfae says:

    If I’d only known about these guys . . .

    I could have just taken all my names straight from there, and put their expository material in blockquotes.

  6. Jeff Golden says:

    I have met Ms Crotchtangle. She is quite pretty!

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