Amal Alamuddin (sometimes the name itself is better than any possible caption)
Happy Friday everyone! Here at Funny Names Central, that means we’re gettin’ rowdy rowdy and ’bout it ’bout it!
Starting off this week’s Funny Names in the News is our Stunning Star-Studded Celebrity Correspondent Amb!, who made a special trip over to our FNITN Tip Center to drop off a dandy of a name for this week’s edition. A-lister (and Arto’s hero) George Clooney is engaged, to none other than Amal Alamuddin! And according to the always quotable Amb, “he bought her something really shiny to celebrate !!”
In sporting news, young boxer Travell Maizon is gaining a lot of attention for a particularly swift left hook that ended a recent bout against Antonio Sanchez early in the first round. You’ll never be able to guess which correspondent provided this one. 😉
From showbiz to boxing to local British politics, our Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer Correspondent Arto delivers a doozy from England, where:
“THE prospective parliamentary candidate for Thurrock (Lab) Polly Billington has reacted with anger at the news that the Purlfeet and West Thurrock areas are in the “top ten” in the UK for unsecured loans.” … Sounds serious – Arto
Sounds serious indeed, my friend! In more saddening news, retired NBA legend Mookie Blaylock was indicted by a jury for a fatal car wreck that killed two people. We hope justice is served appropriately and hope for the best out of this unfortunate situation.
Norm Groot: Awesome name. Awesomer mustache! Could it be love?
Arto, our very own Huell Howser (who ain’t never seen a dog eatin’ an avocada!) brings us some meta-level news, where fabulous (and fabulously mustachioed) reporter Norm Groot discusses in The Californian that, without context, reporting is shallow. It’s a good, thoughtful piece.
You tell ’em, Norm!
Moving on to things that Rob really cares about, but Dave somehow finds, the awesome comedy site Wrestlecrap.com delivers a report – based on a tip by one Autrach Sejanoz – about a silly match, in an article entitled It Came from Youtube: Can You Handle the Bread-Eating Death Match!
Now then, my usual approach with a title like that would be to assume that there’s no way the article can top the headline. However, the brief blog post actually features a delightful (and pop culture-savvy) set of bread puns that are really worth checking out.
A Cthulhu Baby! Isn’t it adorable?!?
Rounding out this week’s Funny Names in the News is Canadian Baby Names Correspondent, Mister Arto, who posted something so good I’ll just repost it verbatim:
Stephen McLaughlin crowd-sourced the name of his daughter. Perhaps wisely, he decided against the crowd favorite Cthulhu All-Spark McLaughlin and went with a more conventional choice in Amelia Savannah Joy McLaughlin, choosing the second place faves from both the first and middle name categories.
Sooooo much goodness! This totally made my Friday sweeter than a day waking up to Tupelo Honey! Enjoy your Friday, and until next time, don’t count your chickens before they hatch, because they may come home to roost!
TGIF!
The Blog of Funny Names 
Man, whoever cooked up those bread puns was really on a roll. Sure got a rise out of me. Floury prose for sure. Best jokes I’ve heard since yeasterday. They set off a bread alert in my pun detector. Someone could make some serious dough in that business. Now that’s thinking outside the breadbox. I knead to learn their skills.
Oh my goodness Arto! You are the master!!!!!!
Some of your puns really go against the grain. I’d totally call on you if I were in a jam. And I’m not just saying this in order to butter you up.
(and no, I didn’t spend 20 minutes coming up with puns…. I took a break, responded to some emails, and then came back with enough confidence to add a few more to the pun bank 🙂 )
If only George and Amal were expecting, then we could top this whole thing off with a line about having a bun in the oven! Nonetheless, I love you both dearly for this entire exchange.
Hahaha! Amber, I’m so impressed by you right now. You got a pun that eluded both of us!
Oh, Dave. When are you ever not impressed by me? xo.
Oh Amber, you’re so right! xo back
Mmmm, jam and butter. That’s the bidnes right there.
I got out of breath just reading this. And props for less travell-ed. I really hope his name doesn’t rhyme with spell. I bet it does.
Norm Groot sounds like a guy who could never be pretentious or wear product in his hair (if he had some) or Axe body spray. Good solid stock–and he didn’t kill anyone in a car wreck.
That cute little baby lucked out with Amelia Savannah Joy as her name. I wonder if Amal a la Mode will change her last name to Clooney. She seems like the type that would not. Attorneys! Clearly, he likes all types…
how has amal ever spelled her full name correctly without transposing letters? i would be overwhelmed –
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