Let’s get ready to rumble! It’s a brand spankin’ new edition of Funny Names in the News – with all the funny names fit to print, and then some!
This funny names correspondent Dave, coming in from fiery San Diego!
We start with today’s top story, brought to us by our NFL draft correspondent Mark “The Spark” Sackler, who hits us with some fun names from the gridiron:
It’s all over–including the shouting. As expected Jadeveon Clowney was the number one overall pick in the NFL draft last weekend, going to the Houston Texans. But he had to settle for runner up in the annual BoFN Funniest Name in The NFL Draft poll, being narrowly edged out by the politically incorrectly named Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix. For the the record, Clinton-Dix was drafted in the first round by the Green Bay Packers. As last year’s runaway winner, Barkevious Mingo was also a first round pick, it’s obvious there is a need for an addition to Funny Name Theory. The funniest names in the draft clearly tend toward the first round–the cream always rises.
There’s no clowning around with Jadeveon present!
In sadder news (except perhaps for the South Carolina running back in the image above), Emergency Room correspondent Dave brings us the story that famed actor Mekhi Pfifer has recently declared bankruptcy. We hope his awesome name and splendid acting talents can help catapult him and wife Rashelet Barnes back into the positive cash flow zone quickly!
And just in case anyone was wondering, Amb will be delighted to hear that George Stroumboulopoulos is still scheduled to host Hockey Night in Canada in the fall. Plus, Strombo just had an awesome interview with Prince Charles, who lauded “unity through diversity“. Way to go, Strombo!
In less fortunate showbiz news, Craig Ferguson has reported that he will be leaving The Late Late Show at the end of the year. However, we’re trying to take solace in the fact that we still have 7 more months of Craig to enjoy, and that he has decided to spend his time discussing names like Lisa Vanderpump and Nene Leakes like he does with Harriet at 2:30 of this video.
Moving from late night TV to famous neurology patients, as we’re apt to do here on the Blog of Funny Names, Neuroscience Correspondent Dave is glad to bring our awareness to an excellent Slate retrospective on one of the most famous patients in the history of neuroscience, Phineas Gage, whose unfortunate accident with a railroad spike led to breakthroughs in the field of behavioral neurology. Definitely worth a read if you’re not familiar with the story of Mr. Gage.
Lastly, word through the grapevine is that Amb was mildly miffed (in an understated and playful Canadian way) at Dave’s recent attempt to start a Facebook conversation with an update about How I Met Your Mother without first asking how she was doing. (For the record, she’s doing well, work has been crazy – she has been working long hours. However, she has been unwinding with the Nero Wolfe series and good company lately, so there’s that). She then replied with “You are SUCH a boy!”
They haven’t yet had the chance to get around to discussing how one of the show’s producers is Stewart Halpern Fingerhut, but prognosticators predict that there’s still plenty of time to talk about that, since Dave is just getting into season 1, and there are still 8 seasons left after that.
That just about does it for this week’s edition of Funny Names in the News! Until next week, may your words be so legen…dary that even your personal correspondence is deemed newsworthy!