Funny Names in the News 82! Octogenerian edition, with Subarus, Iggy Azalea and Prince Doku Jr.!

Hey there! It’s Funny Names in the News! This is our recurring Friday feature where we see funny names in the news and then we compile them together in an article called Funny Names in the News and tell you about them. Pretty cool!

We start with the most English sounding rich guy in the world, Sir Chips Keswick. Sir Chips is the chairman of Arsenal, a big old soccer team in Britain, and hopes his coach will continue and that there will be successes to come in the near future. “ “I hope he will continue and there will be successes to come in the very near future”, he confirmed to Mail Online.

Sir Chips Keswick, boldly upholding our image of what rich dudes should look like at all times.

Sir Chips Keswick, boldly upholding our image of what rich dudes should look like at all times.

 

Hey, you guys like stuff? Me neither! Well, maybe some stuff. For instance, I really dig this 1/3 HP submersible sump pump from Wayne inc. It’s pretty cool.  However, actress Shailene Woodley doesn’t like stuff at all. In fact, she diverges (wink, eh, eh) quite strongly from the general population in that regard, telling Jimmy Kimmel that all her belongings can fit in a carry-on suitcase. Pretty neat!

Thanks to Social Security Administration Correspondent Dave, I just learned that the Social Security Administration annually releases some data on popular baby names in America. Last year, popular new names included a gaggle of strange Game of Thrones influenced monikers like Khaleesi and Bellatrix. I find it’s always a good idea to name your child after whatever show is popular at the time. That won’t be weird at all in 30 years. Other popular new names were VanellopePistol, Rebelle, Jceion, Tuf, Subaru (seriously? I guess Kia is already a name so why not. I’m surprised I haven’t met more Cadillacs in my life), and of course Kaptain.

My friend Subaru is a very colorful person.

My friend Subaru is a very colorful person.

Moving on from just first names to whole entire names.

And what better name to move onto than Studs Terkel? I can’t think of too many. Way to go, Studs! Our Old Town School of Folk Music correspondent Dave unearthed this seven-year-old piece Studs wrote for the Chicago Tribune about, you guessed it, the Old Town School of Folk Music. Good stuff.

Now boxing news, brought to you by our left, right, jab, uppercut, left, left, jab, KO correspondent Mark! Jermell Charlo, twin brother of Jermall Charlo and former BoFN honoree, returns to the ring this weekend on the undercard of the Stevenson-Fonfara light heavyweight title fight in Montreal.  He may win in the ring, but probably loses the funny name battle to one Prince Doku, Jr. who is on the same card.  It’s definitely the “Jr.” that does it.

Thanks Mark, get some rest, take care of that cut above your eye and enjoy some gatorade. That was a good 3-round bout of reporting.

We sign off with a little video treat for anyone who likes watching men catch balls falling from the air. Brought to you by Men catching etc. etc. correspondent Dave. Here’s Yasiel Puig robbing Wilmer Flores with a circus catch.

 

Our most popular post this week was about Iggy Azalea. She's very successful, but still can't afford pants. Help her, ladies and gentleman, buy "Fancy" on iTunes and let's get her some pants to wear!

Our most popular post this week was about Iggy Azalea. She’s very successful, but still can’t afford pants. Help her, ladies and gentleman, buy “Fancy” on iTunes and let’s get her some pants to wear!

 

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About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names. www.funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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21 Responses to Funny Names in the News 82! Octogenerian edition, with Subarus, Iggy Azalea and Prince Doku Jr.!

  1. marksackler says:

    OK, good reporting, and Dave might be the premiere boxing reporter, but today’s Sweet Science info came from me. Grumble. 😦 😉

    • Arto says:

      Ack! Somehow I assumed “boxing – must be dave”. I will fix that post-haste!

      • Dave says:

        Mark is really getting good at this boxing stuff! He knows as much as I do about what’s going on in the Sweet Science right now. I still have an edge in historical events, but I’ve gotta watch my back!

  2. kerbey says:

    Of course I’m seeing Miss Azalea everywhere now; she’s very popular, probably because of the post. And the fact that she’s mostly nekkid. I actually have a book by Studs Terkel, so I must be a smartypants. (Biting my tongue on Jermell and Jermall and their baby sister Pall Mall). I saw Shailene on Jimmy and she also told him she eats clay. Ummm…

    Also, this needs to be shouted from the rooftops: “I find it’s always a good idea to name your child after whatever show is popular at the time. That won’t be weird at all in 30 years.”

    • Arto says:

      She is indeed as popular as your average rhododendron.

      Clay? How do you eat clay? I guess you can eat anything really, it’s what happens after that varies by what you ate. Sounds like an interesting lady.

      Someone should actually shout that from the rooftops. It’d be interesting to see the city’s response. Although, if people keep doing that we can keep this blog running another 45 years.

      • Dave says:

        Arto, go find yourself a rooftop!

      • kerbey says:

        You’ve done it now. Somebody just got a positive on her EPT home pregancy test, read this, and thought, “Rhododendron. That sounds pretty.”

        • Dave says:

          Kerbey, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • kerbey says:

            Nah, I got another negative. 😦 Plus, mine would be Rhiannon. Ha!

          • Dave says:

            Oh, my bad. I assumed “somebody” meant you 🙂

            However, that doesn’t mean that one of our hundreds of Iggy Azalea fans didn’t just do exactly what you described.

            Rhiannon – are you a Fleetwood Mac fan? That’s one of Leslie’s favorite songs (Leslie is Arto’s wife).

          • kerbey says:

            I would never name my child something hard to spell or say because that is a burden no pack mule should have to shoulder. But yes, of course, I could throw on a lace shawl and spin around and sing Fleetwood Mac songs all day. Leslie is obviously intelligent.

    • Liz says:

      This entire exchange is brilliant and I applaud you all. Arto’s phrasing of “I guess you can eat anything really, it’s what happens after that varies by what you ate.” has me especially impressed. That’s bumper-sticker material, folks. Or at least the first line of a cookbook. Can I use it, Arto, whenever I get around to writing one? I’ll give you full credit, of course.

      And Kerbey, how has it taken us this long to notice that Miss Iggy is only one letter away from our book-study subject? Though the similarities stop there. Miss Piggy can for sure affordé pants because she is so importanté.

  3. Dave says:

    P.S. I overlooked the Chips caption the first time, but not the second time. What a brilliant caption!

    P.P.S. Kids should not be named after current TV shows, but the name Chips is timeless!

    • Arto says:

      I agree on your PPS. It’s probably safe to assume he wasn’t named after the Erik Estrada show C.H.I.P.S. But you never know.

  4. wdydfae says:

    I’ve reached the point where I can identify Arto or Dave by writing style alone.

    That’s a good thing, right?

    Are Ms. Iggy’s physical attributes the standard of beauty these days? If so, I am way behind the times. She’s got what I’d call a roller derby bod.

    • Arto says:

      It can’t be a bad thing, so it must be good!

      I wouldn’t know if that’s the beauty standard today. If so, I’m happy enough to be out of the loop here.

  5. ksbeth says:

    as a mother of 3 ‘h’ daughters, who i have very rarely if ever addressed the correct ‘h’ name, my mind is boggled by the jermall and jermell twins.

  6. Liz says:

    you are a funny-name gold miner, Arto. Love it all–entertainment at its finest 🙂

  7. Pingback: Iggy Azalea, Roughned Odor, and Herbertine Walker Spice up Funny Names in the News 83 | The Blog of Funny Names

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