Bindi Irwin, Brits in Sombreros, Punching and Pickles in Funny Names in the News 87

Hola mis amigos! Es la hora para los nombres comicos en las noticias!

Why am I speaking Spanish?!? Because I’m totally out of control!!!

Actually, it’s because I’ve been spending my hard-to-come-by leisure time lately learning Spanish on Memrise, and I’ve upped my vocabulary to 4,867 words!!

A metaphor to how convincing my Spanish accent is!

A metaphor to how convincing my Spanish accent is!

Although my accent probably still sounds as unconvincing as when British boxer Ricky Hatton wore a sombrero into his fight with Jose Luis Castillo (to presumably gain the favor of the Mexican crowd), my language skills are improving rapidly, and just in time for med school!

Our first piece of news this week comes from Emeritus Pantsuit Funny Names Correspondent ROB!!!!!

Yes, Rob  took time from his insanely busy schedule to tell us all that Padres pitcher Odrisamer Despaigne threw seven shutout innings of baseball in his major league debut, becoming the first Padre since Ricky Bones to throw seven scoreless innings in his debut performance for the Friars. Gooooo Odrisamer (and Rob!) The rest of these updates are all from Not-so-emeritus-funny-names-correspondent-Dave-who-is-me, and there are some doozies of designations on this here list.

Sunil Gulati! I like the fella already!

Sunil Gulati! I like the fella already!

In other sports played on grass news, Pretends-He’s-Cultured-And-Worldy-Every-Four-Years Correspondent Dave enlightens us with the news that Ghana’s Asamoah Gyan came so close to earning his team a spot in the Round of 16, but Cristiano Ronaldo scored for Portugal to tie the game, and in the process, got the US through to the knockout round. No doubt, U.S. Soccer Federation president Sunil Gulati is thrilled by the developments. USA! USA!

Oh-ho-ho-kay, moving on, because nothing screams news like guys who retired 37 years ago. It has just come to my attention that the legendary Pele is actually named Edson Arantes do Nascimento (which means something like Edson Arantes of Birth). How’s that for fun?!?!

Bindi! She's all growed up now!

Bindi! She’s all growed up now!

From sports where people get bitten, to progeny of crocodile hunters, an anonymous tipster whose name rhymes with Flave tells Funny Names HQ that Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late, famed croc wrangler Steve Irwin, has been giving young ladies some good advice, telling girls to “dress their age” and cover up. The proclamation gained Irwin front-page treatment on HelloGiggles (a fine website if there ever was one) and a full article on CNN, which is significantly more than I was doing at age 15.

In the puerile comedy sector, a lady has gained recognition for having The Most Florida Name Ever and shooting a car with a BB gun. The lady’s name – Crystal Metheny … get it… Crystal Meth-eny? Hahahaha!

Just proof that the collective internet has the sense of humor of a 15-year-old high schooler.

You knew it was going to happen eventually… and we return once more to boxing news. First off, it came to Funny Names HQ’s awareness that there has been an active boxer in the past few years named Emerson Chasing Bear, who actually put together a fairly respectable record. Frankly, if I were a judge, I’d give him a few extra rounds on the scorecard just because his name is so radicool!

Finally, boxing history was made last week, as Ukrainian two-time gold medalist Vasyl Lomachenko, who hails from Bilhorod-Dnistrovsky, Ukraine, won a world title with an impressive technical performance against Gary Russell, Jr. The win – in only Lomachenko’s third pro fight – means that he ties Saensak Muangsurin for the fastest fighter ever to win a world title. Pretty darn impressive!

And that does it for this week’s Funny Names in the News, presented to you by Coca Cola, Dave & Rob, and Vlasic Pickles. Not really, but I just want an excuse to use this image again! Catch you on the flip side, folks!

Oh look, a dancing pickle!

Oh look, a dancing pickle!

About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names.
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13 Responses to Bindi Irwin, Brits in Sombreros, Punching and Pickles in Funny Names in the News 87

  1. wdydfae says:

    Spectacular FNitN!

    I kinda been out of the loop here. Any calls for me?

    Hey, Ricky “hat on”

    I totally get that one!

    Now, I don’t know about Chrystal, but Pat Metheny is a mongo guitarist. He’s also spent some time in Florida.

    • Dave says:

      Wow… I think about Ricky wearing that getup quite often, but I’ve never once thought about Ricky “Hat On.” FNITN enriches my life, and points out previously unrecognized awesomeness in the world!

      And Pat Metheny is indeed a mongo guitarist. It’s been a while since I listened to him. That’ll be one of my new resolutions (although I can’t watch it at this exact moment).

    • wdydfae says:

      That drummer Antonio Sanchez is probably among two or three most technically proficient drummers in the world. Not my favorite drummer but I gotta admit he smokes on this one.

  2. The dancing pickle makes me feel like a slacker. Love the names. Go USA. . .

    And you go, Bindi!

    • Dave says:

      You’re not a slacker!! The pickle didn’t comment, did he/she??

      And I agree. Bindi is a baller. It’s too bad she lost her father 7-8 years ago, but she’s got a cool mom and she’ll prevail!

      • Thanks, Dave. My reference to the pickle was the perpetual motion movements of the 24/7 variety. I have to sleep sometime. 🙂

        You’re right about Bindi, it is a tragedy she lost her father at so tender an age. I’m glad her mom is there for her.

  3. Arto says:

    Yay the pickles are back. Love me some pickles. And Bindis.

    That is a highly Floridian name. No offense, Floridians.

    Well, maybe a little.

    I hope Odrisamer Despaigne sticks around. We need his name on those billboards around town to spread some funny named cheer.

  4. ksbeth says:

    is it possible that the dancing pickle was hanging out with crystal metheny? just wondering.

  5. kerbey says:

    I did not know that was Pele’s real name. We got a kid’s meal at Subway yesterday, and the green sack it came in said Pele on it. So he must still be more important than any of the newbies.

  6. Liz says:

    My comment is old news, but I’m with everyone else who said “the pickle is back 🙂 ” Good call. I remember seeing Bindi on a talk show a year or so after her dad died and it’s cool to see she’s doing well and making more sense than most of the young girls out there.

    It’s all good here!

  7. wdydfae says:

    For what it’s worth, the dancing pickle goes well with the Pat Metheny clip. Though I don’t want you all to think that I stared at a pickle dancing to Pat Metheny for an excessive amount of time. Just a semi-short time.

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