From the Annals of American Political History: Harry Baals and Wankard Pooser.

“I saw a snake having sex with a vulture and, I thought, it’s just business as usual in Washington, DC.”–Jarod Kintz

There may be plenty of snakes and vultures in Washington, DC,  but when it comes to flat out, upfront political lewdness, give me the good old American heartland.  Because the best political names–funny and lewd–are out there in the hinterland.  Consider these two, if you will.

Harry Baals.  Somebody in Ft. Wayne has a sense of humor.

Harry Baals. Somebody in Ft. Wayne has a sense of humor.

Harry William Baals–(b. Nov. 16., 1886, d. May 9, 1954), was the Republican mayor of Ft. Wayne, Indiana from 1934-1947 and from 1951 until his death in 1954.

The obvious double entendre on  Baals name has been a source of much consternation in his home town.   In the more innocent Ozzie and Harriet climate of the 1950’s, Harry Baals Drive was named after him.  It has since been renamed H.W. Baals drive.   That’s a shame, but it’s still funnier than George H.W. Bush drive.  (There has to be a Bush and Baals joke in there someplace, but you figure it out.)

More recently,  in 2011,  the city of Fort Wayne held an online vote to name its new government center, and the public overwhelmingly voted for The Harry Baals Government Center–in fact, more then ten times as many votes as any other name.   The horrified city fathers reneged on the contest and simply named the building Citizen’s Square.  But perhaps the worst slight to the memory of this great man–or at least to his great name–is that his ancestors have taken to pronouncing Baals as Bales.  That’s downright un-American.  They will all be blacklisted immediately on The Blog of Funny Names.

At any rate,  Baals died from a kidney infection during his final term in office.  You can only surmise if it might have been brought on by scratching–well, you know.

Wankard Pooser–(b. Sept. 27, 1893, d. Feb. 22, 1978), was a firebrand in the Florida state legislature in the 1940’s.  Pooser was elected to the first of his two terms in 1945, apparently on the merits of his sole campaign promise, which was to vote against every single bill put before the legislature while in office.   He lived up to that promise in his first term, though that did not stop him from introducing a bill, which was a proposal for an amendment to the state constitution to abolish the legislature.   He suggested that by transferring all of the legislature’s powers to the governor, much time and money would be saved.  You’ve got to love a politician who proposed to outlaw politicians!  Unfortunately for Pooser, the amendment went nowhere, as did his subsequent political path.  In his second term he broke his “all no votes” promise–just one single time–and promptly lost his seat when he ran for a third term.  Undeterred, he attempted a comeback in 1952.  He lost.  One can only conclude that his given name appropriately described his career.  (If you don’t get it,  look up the definition of the British slang term “wank.”)

it seems that the national Republican party of that era missed out on one of the greatest photo ops of all time.  If these two had been at the top of their 1948 presidential ticket, that famous newspaper headline might have read Wankard and Baals defeat Truman!

dewey truman

 

More of my silliness occasionally appears on The Millennium Conjectures.

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About Mark Sackler

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."-Alan Kay; let's invent a better future, together.
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14 Responses to From the Annals of American Political History: Harry Baals and Wankard Pooser.

  1. ksbeth says:

    god, i love that campaign. and just so you know, we have a mr. harry glanz here in the detroit area, who is a well-known mortgage guy in these parts. a childhood friend of my old boss, who i did not believe when he first mentioned him. )

  2. wdydfae says:

    I don’t think I ever saw Mark go all risque on us here at BoFN (I thought this was Arto!) but that said, I think this one was a masterpiece!

  3. Pingback: Time Out: Harry Baals and Wankard Pooser – The Millennium Conjectures™

  4. Arto says:

    I agree with Didds above, this is an instant classic.

    Gotta love those native city fathers, setting up a naming poll and then going back on it when they realize Harry Baals says *Harry Baals*. Gosh. I hope the good citizens of Ft. Wayne continue to call it the Harry Baals center regardless.

    Mr. Wankard Pooser now has my favorite political name in the world, and is perhaps the finest political figure of the 20th century. We need a Wankard Pooser center somewhere.

  5. Lucky Wreck says:

    Wankard Pooser might be one of the coolest funny names I have ever heard! This was an excellent one for sure! 🙂

  6. kerbey says:

    Somehow Wankard in combination with Pooser makes Pooser seem offensive as well, so I say more of both. What kind of world do we live in where you have to pronounce it Bales? That’s ridiculous. When we’re having fun, we’re having a ball, not a bale. A few miles from here, we have a Hairy Man Drive, a twisting, densely canopied road with an eerie early settler story to go with it. Surely the name will not be changed. I’d hate to drive on a shaved man.

  7. Harry was part of large family. The Baalz clan had a number of relations including famous cousin Brass and the oddly named Uncle Colder Than a Well Diggers but I dare not list them on a family blog.

  8. Dave says:

    These names are so ridiculously good! It’s amazing the ridiculous names you can dredge up from American political history. I think we’ve barely scratched the surface, but somehow you’ve managed to find two of the best possible names I’ve ever seen. I wonder if the voters enjoyed these names as much as we do!

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