Hello Funny Names Fans! We meet again!
Today marks the beginning of a new special feature here on the Blog of Funny Names, the 32-part, probably never to be completed, but earnestly begun Funniest Names in the NFL Project. Or FNITNFLP. Which co-incidentally is the second most common last name in the Czech Republic. Live and learn, blog readers!
We begin this magnificent* project with the home town team of this blog’s founders. Or adopted hometown for 1/3 of them. That would be the championship hogging powerhouse that is the San Diego Chargers. Check out the five greatest names currently on the roster.
Tenny is a Salt Lake City- born defensive end who just joined the Chargers this year. Utah isn’t the only thing verifying the “pale” part of his name, as he also attended Snow College in the Beehive State, playing for the Snow College Badgers during his time there.
This hard-headed running back is from North Platte, Nebraska. He grew up relishing competitiveness in a tight rivalry with South Platte, NE (I’m sure). Woodhead joined the Chargers last season after stints with the New York Jets and the New England Patriots, but he’s unfortunately likely out for the season this time around with a broken fibula. Ouch.
Undoubtedly the best name currently on the roster, Tjong-a-Tjoe is another Charger currently out of action due to injury. Born in Amsterdam in the Netherlands, where another type of football is a bit more popular, Tjong-a-Tjoe attended high school in Boise, Idaho and after graduating elected to stay in Idaho to attend college at Boise State. He is now inspiring wonderful Tjong-a-Tjoe inspired rhymes in San Diego beat poetry clubs.
The finely named Kwame Geathers comes from genuine football stock. His uncle Jumpy Geathers also played in the NFL as did his father and cousin. This will be his second season in San Diego, where he hopes to impress not just with his 6’6 frame and his bloodline, but also with some interpretive dance material he has been working on for half time entertainment. That last part is something we’re hoping is true, but can offer no guarantees.
The offensive tackle Daniel Lee Jesus “D.J” Fluker has anything but fluked his way into the San Diego team. A first round pick in 2013 out of the University of Alabama, Fluker is an all-round athlete who in high school also recorded stand-out scores in shot put.
Honorary mention to Johnnie Troutman, as we love fish-related names (and hairstyles) around here.
Did we miss your favorite? Add one below the line! And vote here for your favorite Charger name!
*Disclaimer : project may be in no way magnificent, but allow us some hyperbole, this is sports coverage after all.
In case you missed it, D.J. Fluker made the honorable mention list in our first annual poll of funniest names in the NFL draft in 2013. https://funnynamesblog.com/2013/04/24/nfl-draft-draft/
Double confirmation right there that his is a very funny name. He’ll be very happy to have graduated to the big boys’ list.
Ooohhhh these are all delightful!!!
We aim to delight, and so do the Chargers. Clearly.
The wonderfulest name of them all is FNITNFLP.
I read it out loud when I saw it.
Well, I mean, I read it out loud in my head.
And just now I really read it out loud for real.
“Fnit’n Fulp – for when you really need to fnit’n that fulp.”
I will never be a copywriter with that kind of material. Hire Kerbey below for her superior work for Jamba Juice.
Hahaha, that’s so awesome! Fnit’n Fulp!
No contest: Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe. Like Jared with Subway, I think Ricky could do great things as pitchman for Jamba Juice. Just say it out loud (or in your head, wdydfae): “I’m Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe for Jamba Juice, telling you kids to try our new Fit ‘N Fruitful™ Smoothies, packed wiith fourteen vitamins & minerals, giving you strength to pound the defense.”
This reminds me, I need to go get a smoothie like right now.
I just read that out loud and I think I’m going to be undergoing performance review early at work this year.
One more thing with which I take issue. Daniel Lee Fluker is already a name. To his parents: you’re done. People have three names. That’s the rule. That’s how we know who killed Kennedy and Lincoln. Three names. The fourth is not necessary. It’s like they named him Daniel Lee Fluker and then the epidural hadn’t worn off and she was like, “Let’s throw Jesus in there, too.” What? And you can’t nickname him DJ because it’s not DJ! It’s DLJ!
Evidently, his family fled New Orleans just hours before Hurricane Katrina hit, so he’s lucky to be alive. And have you google imaged him? When he smiles, he looks like the happiest hippo you’ve ever seen.
That is a very happy looking hippo. What a jolly looking fellow.
Wow, that is such brilliant material Kerbey!
i’m all in for kwame, because i am obsessed with our (detroit’s) infamous crook ex-mayor, kwame kilpatrick. anyone with that name, has to be something special.
Hopefully this Kwame will not let his constituents down in quite the same manner! Good connection!
Kwame Kilpatrick was such a weird guy! Didn’t he buy several Cadillac Escalades using city money?
weird guy is an understatement and the escalade was just the tiny tip of the iceberg –
I love that you’re branching over to football now! Anything is possible on the Blog of Funny Names!!!!!
This is chocked full of wonderful names. And what an interesting spin for FNiTN, FNiTNFLP. I think I’ll have to visit the Czech Republic to see how many of them I’ll meet on the street. 🙂
Your post has some serious competition from the comment thread. Love how FNITNFLP is being flipped (like pancakes 🙂 ) around and has even been trademarked in the short time between your writing and Kerbey’s comment. That’s some serious progress. Don’t tell me BoFN won’t change the world.
Hope you got your smoothie. And good work on the names. I like them all and will not pick a favorite. Though having an uncle named Jumpy must score points somehow.
The comments are like the fruit compote on top of an already delicious bread. Or whatever you might slap fruit compote on. You get my point, the comments are always good 🙂
I did get my smoothie, and the ingredients are now masquerading as my face in the avatar.
I want to have an uncle named Jumpy. I guess I could just pick one and nickname him Jumpy any time I like. So there’s that.