Hello basketball fans and funny names enthusiasts! Today we bring these two fine groups of people together to celebrate the greatest, most uniquely piquant, and fantastically humorous names in college basketball. Yes, we’re going deep into the NCAA March Madness tournament of 2015, and I’m bringing my big sack of superlatives today. Oh yeah!
As the tournament gears towards the Final Four stage this weekend, I’m going to eschew the tournament bracket format and categorize the finest names by completely arbitrary means instead. But do scroll on down to the bottom to vote for your favorites, and perhaps we’ll run a tournament with the best of the best later! You never know, it’s March Madness (strictly speaking April but Madness does not care for calendars).
Most Distinguished
There are plenty of funny names in the final 64, but a tournament that contains a team called Butler should have its fair share of distinguished gentleman names. Here, 2015 does not disappoint. Here is your Final Four in this category :
- Basil Smotherman – Purdue
- Rodell Wigginton – Buffalo
- Roosevelt Jones – Butler
- Sir’Dominic Pointer – St. John’s
Pleasing to see that Butler was kind enough to include someone who sounds like they could be an actual butler in their lineup. Being a Sir is obviously so distinguished, that Mr. Pointer’s success in the sport could be attributed to the opposition having to bow every time they come across him on the court.
A funny name for you, sir?
Moving on to the vaunted “There’s Just a Nice Ring to It” category. Our finalists are :
- Romelo Trimble – Maryland
- Deng Deng – Baylor
- Denzel Valentine – Michigan St.
- Tavarius Shine – Oklahoma St.
Denzel Valentine’s debut album, “Just for You Babe (P.S. There’s Chocolate in There)” is available in your local Starbucks now.
Most Likely to Have Driven a Tractor While Listening to Carrie Underwood Award
- Dusty Hannahs – Arkansas
- Rusty Reigel – Davidson
Tough match-up here, but since their first names rhyme I’m going to award them both as winners. Hooray!
Beautiful Montrezl, Canada
What Kind of Name Is That? Merit Award
- Rauno Nurger – Wichita State
- Kibret Woldemichael – San Diego State
- Parker U’u – San Diego State
- Montrezl Harrell – Louisville
Extra points to the San Diego State team for a double appearance in a Final Four. Louisville’s Montrezl Harrell wins my coveted “Possible Canadian Typo” award this year.
These Just the Best to Say Category
- Venky Jois – Eastern Washington
- Christian McCoggle – Texas Southern
- Ryan McClurg – Texas
- Scoochie Smith – Dayton
Scoochie is the best name I’ve ever heard, and acts as a perfect counterbalance to the rather ordinary Smith. This, is in my opinion, one of the better names in basketball. And there’s some competition out there.
Honorary Mentions
- Wes Washpun – Northern Iowa
- Marcanvis Hymon – Ole Miss
- Lourawls Nairn – Michigan St.
- Bush Wamukota – Wichita State
It makes sense that they would like their puns clean in Iowa. Great alliterative names are also always welcome here, as are basketball players named after Rhythm & Blues singers.
Booming Northern Iowa cityscape.
Well, that’s it for the Funny Names Blog 2015 March Madness roundup. Hope you enjoyed some of these names, and feel free to vote for your favorite from each category below!
We here will be rooting for Michigan State in the Final Four, as they’re the only team left in the tournament with any representatives in our roundup, and they’ve got two! Go Michiganders!
The Blog of Funny Names 
loved this and i voted. do i get a sticker to wear proudly?
It’ll be in the mail shortly. Headed where, I’m not sure.
Deng Deng, the witch is dead! Which old witch? (First Judy Garland reference.) So many contendahs here, eh? Venky Jois immediately brings to mind a french leek soup, vichyssoise. No doubt you thought the same. There has been a scourge of using apostrophes when none is needed, so Parker U’u is right on track. Half of his name is a Motown lyric. And Montrezl? That should not be a thing. But there are folks named Heinzl, so I guess it’s legit. And Roosevelt Jones? That is a blatant rip-off from a song I used to sing as a girl, listening to Judy Garland (second reference) belt out, “Franklin D. Roosevelt Jones.” Seriously, it’s an upbeat song about a baby given that name.
“What a name, I’ll bet he knows it
With that handle, how can he go wrong?
And the folks in the town all agree
He’ll be famous and famous as he can be
How can he be a dud, or a stick in the mud
When he’s Franklin D. Roosevelt Jones?”
Well he’s certainly no dud, going to Butler University and everything!
Deng Deng is perhaps the most musical of the bunch, and I salute anything that inspires a Judy Garland riff.
“Half of his name is a motown lyric” – hahaha, that cracked me up.
Haha Kerbey – you are a creative genius!
Ahh, Sir’Dominic Pointer… Spectacular name, spectacular flops.
To quote a sportscaster, “it just doesn’t get any better than that!”
Sir’Dominic is the best of all the names!
This point is difficult to argue. The placement of the apostrophe, the gumption of the Sir, the name Pointer. It’s just all good!
This post is fantastic! Love from Cabo!
This post is so good it leaves Cabo begging for more. It’s impregnable!
It really is! The weird thing is I wasn’t able to see the polls when I was in Cabo, so I’m just now looking at them. So much goodness in them there names!!
I wonder how you pronounce Montrezl?!?
These names are all extremely good!
I think any and all ways of pronouncing Montrezl are correct.
Nice work, Arto. Lourawls’ name becomes even more musical to my ears when you add his nickname “Tum Tum” to the middle of the mix, by the way. 🙂
Wow, that’s a great nickname. So many good names out there.
i think I’ll name my son BeeBeeKing in tribute.
And your daughter EveryDayIGetTheBlues, right?
Absolutely, good idea. That easily shortens to EDIGTB also which is a charming name. Or some sort of a charitable organization for lawers.