Hey ho, baseball season is back, and with it comes perhaps our favorite thing. Baseball names!
I myself attended by annual-ish baseball game this week in the shape of a Padres-D-Backs game (something unfortunate about the D-Backs being called D-Backs. No self given nickname has ever sounded quite so much like an insult). Padres took the game with an 8th inning whopper by Justin Upton (stadium scoreboard fun fact : he has a brother named Melvin).
So I got to thinking, as I munched on my $9 hot dog and slurped my $12 beer. To make this really worth it, I need to write about it on the blog, and so I lurched into the funnest kind of research. Funny Names Research. FNR is an up-and-coming field in the sciences, sure to be recognized soon with a Horsey Prize in achievement in amusement. Check your local library for the latest.
Without further ado (which I think was a Shakespearean term for “filler”), we move on to the meat of the matter. The funniest names in baseball in 2015!
From the Boston Red Sox
- Mookie Betts
- Zeke Spruil
If I had a baseball themed deli, these two would be my top selling sandwiches.
From the New York Yankees
- Didi Gregorius
I don’t know if Didi has a nickname, but I think he should start going by Glorious Gregorious. Gregarious Gregorious is also an option, but might trip up the broadcasters.
From the Tampa Bay Rays
- Brad Boxberger
One of the great family names of Tampa, his father and his father before him all berged boxes for a living.
With the Toronto Blue Jays
- R.A. Dickey
– A bonus fact about Mr. Dickey. According to the New York Times, he gives his bats (the kinds you hit the ball with, not nocturnal bloodsuckers) some strange names. The two best ones he calls Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver and Hrunting. So next time you watch the Blue Jays, keep an eye out for the man bunting with the hrunting.
From the Detroit Tigers
- Buck Farmer
With the Kansas City Royals
- Cheslor Cuthbert
From the Oakland A’s
- Coco Crisp
- Billy Butler
The Butler will bring your Coco Crisps to get the day started right, of course.
There’s just not enough names like Billy Butler in the world.
From the Seattle Mariners, your future plush toy sales representative
- Charlie Furbush
From funny name champs, the Texas Rangers
- Rougned Odor
- Shin-Soo Choo
- Prince Fielder
- Tanner Scheppers
Funny name collector runner up, the Cincinnati Reds
- Burke Badenhop
- Skip Schumaker
- Homer Bailey
Now those sound like some baseball players.
From the San Diego Padres
- Cory Spangenberg
- Kevin Quackenbush
Representing the San Francisco Giants
- Madison Bumgarner
- Buster Posey
And finally, some of the finest names in MLB :
- Scooter Gennett – Milwaukee
- Antonio Bastardo – Pittsburgh
- Xavier Scruggs – St. Louis
- Tuffy Gosewisch – Arizona
And that’s that for this roundup. Enjoy the games this season!