Dansby Swanson picked first in the 2015 MLB Draft

Dansby lookin Dandy at Vandy!

Dansby lookin Dandy at Vandy!

A breaking news update, inspired by Mad Mark Sackler, and brought to you delightedly by Dave during the 2015 MLB Draft.

The Arizona Diamondbacks (probably one of the best-named teams in major league baseball), drafted awesomely-named Vanderbilt prospect Dansby Swanson!

Best of all, they drafted him first overall! Showing that funny names do indeed finish first! Way to go Dansby! We’re hoping to see big headlines from you for years to come!

In other news…

it’s been a month since Arto posted on the BoFN! A MONTH!

What’s up with that?!? He hasn’t even had 4 exams in the last 2 weeks, unlike one of his Blog of Funny Names co-founders!

So we must do what we (OK, really just me) do when this happens!

We’ve already shown him Fondling Ted Danson (and frankly, who can blame him!)

We’ve also called him a Pony Cake Crusher! Or a sweet lips pony cake crusher… I’m so confused about which…

And seen him as a caged monster!!!

What’s there left to do?

Well… I guess there’s this…

Wait…. that was a picture of Miley Cyrus with an Arto-esque haircut wearing a dragon-inspired… thing… crop top, maybe?

Here’s the pic I was looking for… it’s vintage Arto and some random dude…. picking up chicks or something?!?

Arto Guns

Yeah, let’s say he was picking up chicks. And clearly being very successful at it!

Oh well, even if Arto continues to be a slacker, at least we’ll always have Dansby Swanson – who will hopefully making his MLB debut very soon!


About Dave

Based out of San Diego, California. Co-founder of the Blog of Funny Names. funnynamesblog.wordpress.com
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13 Responses to Dansby Swanson picked first in the 2015 MLB Draft

  1. Congratulations to Dansby Swanson, I’m sure we’ll get more than a swan song from him. 🙂

  2. kerbey says:

    That is a good solid masculine name. We know a personal trainer named Dansby. Then you add the Swanson, like Ron Swanson from “Parks and Rec,” and that’s double testosterone. BTW, Danson looked traumatized to be getting fondled by Arto. What’s his excuse? He does have perfect 1977 teen heartthrob hair, though.

  3. Bumba says:

    A Dargone Dansby dandy of a report.

    • Dave says:

      That was some beautiful alliteration, Bumba! You should publish a book or something! … oh, wait… you already have!

  4. Arto says:

    Did you add the latter part of this post later? I swear I read this yesterday and there was no Miley Cyrus. I should’ve seen Miley Cyrus if she was there. Hmmm.

    Always feel so honored with these supposed “shaming” posts. It’s like, “dude, you’re awesome!”. So, that’s cool.

    • Dave says:

      Haha, nope, this post has been in its original form ever since the day of its beautiful, immaculate birth!

      Maybe I should stop these shaming posts – the last thing I wanted was for this to be something that would incentivize not posting! I’ll have to up the shame ante next time, so that it cuts like a knife! I know how easily ashamed you are!

  5. Pingback: Epic Rap Battles: Dave vs. Arto | The Blog of Funny Names

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